Sonic Booms from Kim Kardashian Twerking Destroy Yeezus Tour Equipment
Deafening noise also scares the BeJesus out of the audience. More on this story after Kanye pitches another fit.
“Old Man” Winter Relinquishes Control to Son Biff
Old Man Winter has reportedly turned over operational control of the winter season to his son, Biff according to sources close to the personification of nature. Citing health issues, Old Man Winter made the announcement in late November and his…
Time Traveler Arrested for Killing His Grandfather
Josh Holbecker, a 25 year old time traveler from the year 2072, was arrested this morning after traveling back in time and killing his grandfather, 22-year-old Harvard graduate student Ernest Holbecker. Josh claims that his father, who has not yet…
Robopundit Alex Castellanos Soft Sells Republican Anarchism
Dateline: PALO ALTO—Robotics Corp, a Fortune 500 company, treated reporters to a behind-the-scenes look at the manufacturing of their pre-programmed artificial persons for use in selling conservative policies in the United States. The featured model is called the Alex Castellanos,…
Smart Phones Turn their Users into A#$holes, Researchers say
Dateline: BERKELEY– While many Americans are reeling from the news that the NSA is spying on their locations by tracking their mobile devices, social scientists are concerned about a more existential threat: those devices are turning people into a#$holes.
Sheldon- The Gold Standard For Geekdom
Words alone cannot describe the wonderfulness of Sheldon Cooper. The main star of the television series ‘The Big Bang Theory’ has set the new bar high for all those nerdists who will surely follow in his footsteps hereafter. He is…
Video News Blooper Reel Proves MSM Make it Up as they Go Along
DATELINE-ANYWHERE – One of the biggest obstacles we face, as a news outlet, is the claim that we’re not as credible as other outlets. This video montage should show otherwise. While we may not check our facts, source our stories,…
Holidays Aside – It’s Time For Blonde Suicide Bomber Jokes
Forget the overly cheery Christmas carols, the endless gift shopping and the eye strainingly gaudy seasonal decorations. Cheery days aside, the world is falling apart. In that spirit, it is time for some truly low-brow, rude, raunchy and definitely non-Christmasy…
Grown Man Overdoses on Gummy Vitamins
The FDC has issued a warning for adults who are now taking their daily vitamin supplements in the form of gummy shapes to take only one per day as they are not candy. Thomas “Tommy” Smith, of Cincinnati, Ohio is…
Likud Party Withdraws Support, Obama Government Collapses
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several long hours of wrangling over the type of missiles to employ when the United States strikes Tehran next week, the Likud Party withdrew its support from President Barack Obama’s governing coalition, causing it to fall…