Obama: Nat King Cole Song is ‘Homophobic’
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Americans have been left in shock after President Obama issued a statement characterizing Nat King Cole’s famous “Christmas Song” as homophobic. In a press conference held late on Friday, Obama explained that his uneasiness with the classic…
A Low Point for President Jesus
WASHINGTON – It has been a tough couple of months for President Jesus in the wake of the problem-plagued launch of the government’s HumanKindness.gov website and continuing criticism of his efforts to address the issues of unemployment and poverty in…
Nativity Scene Vandalized: Baby Jesus Replaced w/ Budweiser
When Dan Fairbanks, pastor at the Village Seventh Day Adventurer Church, checked his congregation’s nativity scene Christmas Eve morning, what he found was the most disturbing image of his life. In the manger belonging to Baby Jesus, instead of Jesus,…
Uncle Truly Astonished by Nephew Kim Jong Un’s Surprise Party
Jang Song Thaek, second top gun in the North Korean Political Machine and uncle to the countries President Kim Jon Un, was truly astonished at the surprise party his nephew had for him on Tuesday. “This is amazing!’ stated Jang,…
Man Sacked for Wearing Arsenal Jersey
NAIROBI, Kenya – An employee of Kenya Airways, Kenya’s national airline was apparently sacked for wearing an Arsenal FC (football club) tee shirt to a Kenya Airways sponsored event at the Masai Mara. Eyewitnesses say a Mr. Bosire, (former) corporate…
World Disappointed Apocalypse Didn’t Come December 2012
It is hard to believe that is has been almost a year since the world ended December 21, 2012. There are plenty of memories we would all like scrubbed from our brains over the past year. Here are just a…
Warming Arctic Ocean Causes Santa To Move Operations To South Pole
Old Nick has been having a hard time of it. His North Pole sweat shops, …er…, workshops have been becoming wet-shops due to the the melting of the sea ice of the arctic. “It has just become impossible! I have…
Dennis Rodman Missing After Jang Song Thaek’s Execution
Although the mainstream media is reporting that Dennis Rodman is still planning on traveling to North Korea next week to begin training North Korea’s basketball team, no one close to Rodman has seen him since the execution of Kim Jong…
Rich Convicts Seek Out From Prison as “Affluenza” Catches On
Keller, TX – Mockery of the justice system spread across the country today as a Texas judge sentenced Ethan Couch to 10 years probation for the murder of 4 people while driving drunk in June 2013. Ethan, 16 at the…
GlossyNews Hire Writers Who Wrote Text Over Jong Un Uncle’s Execution
Glossy News is viciously striving to beat all the other spoof news websites fighting tooth and nail to hire the writer who wrote the fiery rhetoric slamming North Korea’s President’s Jong Un’s uncle on national news. The former second in…