Archive | Gadgets & Gizmos

Saved by the bell: When your phone saves you from boredom

Saved by the bell: When your phone saves you from boredom

When the idea of the mobile phone was made a reality back in the early 1980s, it was done so with the aim of enabling people to make and receive calls from wherever they were. Nowadays, though, phone calls are often one of the lesser used functions of a mobile phone. Since the smartphone has hit the shelves, the mobile device has taken a new life from phone to computer, camera to games console, and as new apps keep hitting the market, it is bound to get even more functions. With almost three billion people across the globe currently in possession of a smartphone, it’s probably fair to say as a civilisation that we are now pretty reliant on our phones for a host of reasons.

One aspect of life a mobile phone can help us with is when we’re just waiting around. Whether it’s while you’re waiting for a bus, sat on a toilet or in the process of being stood up on a first date, our smartphones can save us from boredom as well as potentially awkward situations.


As you’re waiting for a train or a date, a smartphone can be a game-changer. While in years gone by you would have been forced to read the train timetable or try to act as though the wine menu was intensely interesting, you can now simply get out your phone and check out your social media or catch up on last night’s episode of Celebrity Masterchef. With so many awesome apps constantly being released, as long as you have your phone with you, you no longer have to suffer from the boredom virus.

Toilet Breaks

Sitting on the toilet and reading the newspaper might be how your parents did things but the world has changed over the past 20 years. A recent survey by Voucherbox found that over three quarters of respondents took their phones with them to the toilet. You might expect many to be using this time as a chance to catch up on social media or play games. The truth is that many actually use their toilet break as an opportunity to work, with over half sending an email while one in 10 people who responded to the survey admitted to taking part in conference calls while taking care of their own personal “business”. It’s not all work, though, with 51% revealing they make online purchases while in the bathroom – adding a whole new meaning to the expression “spending a penny”.


Let’s be honest, we’ve all ended up spending two hours in a cinema on a first date wanting to walk out because the film was just terrible but having to stay because leaving someone in the cinema on their own is up there with checking out the waitress/waiter in terms of bad first-date moves.


Rather than having to watch the latest Adam Sandler offering on the big screen, you can instead watch the second half of the football or the latest episode of Game of Thrones. And if the date is going as badly as the film, your smartphone can save the day again as you order an Uber and get yourself out of Dodge.

So, while we might have begun to take our smartphones for granted, take a moment to reflect on just how important to everyday life our phones are. And try not to drop it down the toilet when you’re next playing Candy Crush and avoiding work.

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Pokemon-Go Craze Puts U.S. Elections in Doubt

Pokemon-Go Craze Puts U.S. Elections in Doubt

NEW YORK – The incredibly addictive Pokemon-Go app, which has sent countless millions of people out into the world to stare at their cell phones more than ever, has now put the U.S. Presidential elections in doubt.

Current CNN polls show that voter turnout will be at an all-time low (17%) as millions of registered voters see little point in voting for U.S. President while there are still so many fabulous Pokemon characters out there to catch.

“There’s an election like every four years, right? But Pokemon-Go is a once-in-a-lifetime event,” said Wayne Potman, 25, of Salt Lake City. “I’m not against voting, so if I’m out that day, and there happens to be a Poke-Stop or a really cool Gym right by the voting location, then I might go in to vote. Seriously. If the line is not too long.”

Pokemon-Go creator, Niantic, has promised to seed U.S. voting locations with PokeStops and rare Pokemons in a desperate effort to boost voter turnout. “We see this as a win-win and a no-brainer,” said Niantic spokesman Jesus Angleton Dulles. “We will do our part to try to resuscitate the dying American Republic through Pokemon and Pokemon-Go.”

Continue Reading

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Kidz Zone, Politics0 Comments

How Much a Smartphone will Really Cost You

How Much a Smartphone will Really Cost You

Smartphones are all around us, and everybody wants them. They need this kind of technology in their lives, to read the news, to stalk their exes on social networks, and to make all the selfies they need. But, like all things in life, smartphones are costly – and their costs often go beyond what meets the eye. Let us calculate the real cost of you playing on your smartphone.

The tangible part

Smartphones are built using a series of materials, ranging from plastic recycled from LEGO blocks, Twinkies wrappers, and PET bottles regurgitated by endangered oceanic fish, to metals extracted by child miners in backwater countries of the Third World. Their screens are sanded to perfection using a fine, white powder made out of the milk teeth of 18 year old virgins – and we all know how hard these are to come by. Since all their components are extremely small, gremlin guest workers are hired to do this tenuous job. The resulting hardware is rendered extra frail to have as short a replacement cycle as possible.

The games you play

No smartphone would be complete without the reels of a slot machine running on its screen. Experts recommend the All Slots Casino, at, an international operator with a massive library of games, as the best destination to gamble online. Not for the users in the US, though – the All Slots Casino is, unfortunately, not accepting players from the land of the free, thanks to a law passed by a greedy government in 2006. But players in other countries, from Canada to Australia, are free to play one of the more than one hundred amazing slot machines and table games available at the All Slots Mobile Casino. And they don’t even have to pay for this privilege – the All Slots Casino offers them the chance to play their favorite game free of charge, as well.

The hidden costs

To play games on your smartphone, you’ll need something nobody tells you about from the start: an internet connection. Connecting to the global network secretly supervised by every three-letter agency in the US (and some others which don’t even have acronyms, if you can imagine something like this in the Land of the Free) will allow smartphone users not only to play their favorite games (carefully filtered by the authorities, of course), but to follow their preferred news sources online. Like ours, for example. But this will come at a cost.

Since you can’t always rely on your dumb neighbor’s unsecured WiFi, you’ll need to subscribe to your own data plan. And this will set you back an easy $20 each month – more, if the above mentioned agencies’ tracking code messes with your transfer speeds.

As you can see, the retail price of your smartphone is minuscule compared to what building it costs the environment, and human dignity. Be proud to own such a priceless piece of technology!

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Windows 10 Introduces Wide Array of Exciting New System Errors

Windows 10 Introduces Wide Array of Exciting New System Errors

Microsoft is proud to introduce Windows 10, the latest version of our operating system for PCs and tablets.

To help you get to know our new system better, here are answers to some questions you might have.

Why is it called Windows 10 when your last operating system was Windows 8?

Lots of people have asked this question. Some folks think that that because Windows 8 was such an unpopular disaster we wanted to put a little numerical distance between it and our new system. Continue Reading

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Internets Tubes2 Comments

DADDS Drunk Driver System Promises More Hassle, Road Deaths

DADDS Drunk Driver System Promises More Hassle, Road Deaths

NHTSA is seriously considering a mandate to put breathalyzers in every single new car on the road.

Not only is the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration considering it, they’ve been funding its research since 2008 with millions already invested.

Sure, DADDS it’s impractical, inconvenient and ineffective, but more importantly, it stands to actually increase road deaths. Continue Reading

Posted in Crime, Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Lessons from This Year in Tech and Fashion

Lessons from This Year in Tech and Fashion

Tech is the new fashion. If that was ever in doubt, ask the editors from Vogue, Marie Claire and other fashion magazines who attended the Apple Watch launch in Cupertino, CA, instead of covering New York Fashion Week (NYFW).

​The fashion and technology worlds have more in common than some people realize. One is a cut-throat industry, fueled by gossip and petty jealousies, the search for the next big thing and the need to stay ahead of look-a-like designs – and the other is the fashion business. Continue Reading

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

American secret agents exposed by phone app?

American secret agents exposed by phone app?

A stunning announcement was made at a secret hacker conference last month to little fanfare.

An app was made available for the Android or IPhone platform that exposes the secret agents working for America’s top secret organizations.

Called “Find my Spy”, the app is supposed to find any currently employed agent by name or location. Since the announcement the app has gone viral and has reportedly been downloaded over 3 million times already in fifty seven countries so far. Continue Reading

Posted in Crime, Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains

Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains

In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be.

The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget has brought about this new fad that has taken the modern world by storm.

The surgical operation, which only takes a few hours but is costly, rewires a persons nerves to interact with the small machine instead of the much weightier brain which is removed. Continue Reading

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

Apple to Remotely Disable All iPhone 4S Models and Older 7 Days After iPhone 6 Release

Apple to Remotely Disable All iPhone 4S Models and Older 7 Days After iPhone 6 Release

CALIFORNIA: In a statement released today by Apple CEO Tim Cook, all iPhone models 4S and older are scheduled to be shut down and remotely wiped seven days after the release of the iPhone 6 on September 9th.

“Customers who have resisted upgrading to our exciting and new technology need to catch up to the rest of us, and we are requiring these individuals to experience our leap in innovation by September 16th,” said Cook.

“I mean, so much has changed since our 4S model. Personally, I can’t even begin to imagine how these people live their daily lives with the traditional 30 pin charging connector or a pathetic VGA front-facing camera.” Continue Reading

Posted in Biz News, Gadgets & Gizmos16 Comments

NRA Demands US Government Outlaw Drones Despite 2nd Amendment

NRA Demands US Government Outlaw Drones Despite 2nd Amendment

In a strange reversal of policy the NRA has demanded that the U.S. make a ban on drones very much like the ban on guns that they have so heatedly fought against in the past.

Speaking at a press conference NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre has vehemently asserted that “Drones are dangerous! They are potential weapons of mass destruction! They should not be allowed in the wrong hands!” Continue Reading

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Cooper Brand Pooper Scoopers are Super-Duper Cooper Scoopers

Cooper Brand Pooper Scoopers are Super-Duper Cooper Scoopers

Montgomery County, Pennsylvania – Assisting residents in cleaning up the debris left behind from their crushed dreams of having locally born celebrity, Bradley Cooper, win an Academy Award are Cooper Industries’ pooper scoopers that have been flying off the shelves at neighborhood stores.

“It’s just a coincidence that Cooper Industries manufactures pooper scoopers and they are being used for this purpose. We have sold over 500 in the past hour alone!” Inventory Manager at the local Walmart, Phil Bredstickey said.

Residents have been voicing their opinions since the most recent loss occurred earlier this year on March 2nd. “Everyone in the area had their dreams shattered to breadsticks,” said Cooper’s former neighbor, Jan Cimorbasquets, who still remembers watching an adolescent Bradley whiff on what would have been a winning soccer kick in 1984.

“We all thought he was a lock to win for Silver Linings Playbook and then again for American Hustle, but all they gave him were insulting MTV Movie Awards,” she added.

According to local police, the remains associated with the anticipated celebration and the heartbreaking loss are so great that Montgomery County is offering a tax credit to anyone that purchased a pooper scooper and/or trash bags in aiding the cleanup effort.

Meanwhile, the pile of debris continues to grow and has local environmentalists on edge. “We are fearing the worst for endangered animals that may try to use the debris to build homes or consume them as a food source. These are very fragile animals and include the breadhog and garlic-tailed deer,” said Pennsylvania Game and Wildlife Commissioner, Deuce Changaro.

Cooper branded pooper scoopers were first introduced to the public in the late 1980s as dogs continued to grow larger and larger, leaving specimens on lawns and carpets that were too much for a miniscule hand pooper scooper. The company barely avoided bankruptcy in 2009, but has recently seen a tremendous spike in sales.

“As more and more fans of Bradley Cooper give their hopes up that he will ever win an Academy Award, they are turning to our product to clean up the anticipated celebratory items that were left behind,” said the company mascot, Scoopy, the super-duper pooper scooper.

Donations and volunteers to aid in the effort are still being accepted. Anyone interested in helping should call Paula Rhondstatter at 1-800-533-7510 or visit

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Gadgets & Gizmos1 Comment

Text Walking to Become New Olympic Sport

Text Walking to Become New Olympic Sport

Rio de Janeiro – Text walking will become the newest sport to be part of the Olympic Games starting in Rio in 2016. The act of texting while walking has never been considered a sport but since so few people get killed while performing the act, Olympic officials assume there must be some skill involved in the activity.

Although still a relatively new activity in some parts of the world, millions of people navigate their daily lives while having their eyes and attention diverted to their handheld devices for hours on end. Miraculously, only a small number of these self-absorbed people end up in the hospital or worse from the activity. Continue Reading

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Business down the drainpipe for Mario Brothers

Business down the drainpipe for Mario Brothers

WORKERS have spoken of their sadness at a family run plumbing business has gone bust after 33 years trading.

Mario Brothers Plumbing Ltd announced last night that it was to go into administration and there was expected to be a loss of more than 300 jobs.

The business has sighted the worldwide financial crisis, but staff have accused the poor management of the two owners, Mario and Luigi, that ultimately lead to the closure and loss of jobs. Continue Reading

Posted in Biz News, Gadgets & Gizmos2 Comments

Video Game Makers Reach Around to Senior Citizens

Video Game Makers Reach Around to Senior Citizens

As the video game industry continues to mature, game makers are scrambling to create the next generation of games designed specifically for a maturing demographics. You can give the older gamers a fancier avatar, but it’s a lot harder to get it up…to the higher levels than it used to be.

The average age of the hard core gamer is now…well about your age and getting older! So in accordance with the changing needs of an aging population, a new wave of games is coming. Wholesale “death and destruction” is not even remotely entertaining anymore. It takes a lot more to arouse the mature crowd these days.

Face it, you’ve seen one head explode, you’ve seen them all. It gets to a point where mere imagery just doesn’t pop the cork anymore. Aging gamers are looking for games that reflect the thrill and exhilaration of the “real life” that is slowly slipping away from them, while providing the irresponsible escapism and high definition graphics they’ve grown accustomed to. Get ready for Geezer Games.

These next generation games are so cutting edge, you can shave your ear lobes with them and the fear factor is so high, you’ll have to change your adult diaper. Using newly emergent “full immersion” technology, it’s like being trapped in The Matrix with a bad bootleg copy of “Misery” and irritable bowel syndrome. On the drawing board:

1) Grand Theft Audit:

The premise is simple. The Player is required to accumulate wealth by locating kickbacks, contraband and other sources of undeclared income and effectively hide them in offshore accounts before the Tax Man can audit their Piggy Bank. The game has 17 levels, each with a different Tax Code and Tax Bracket.

Those reaching the top level are exempted from the Tax Man, but are immediately set upon by the Charity Hordes and The Paparazzi, seeking to knock the player down a few levels for their selfish amusement. Rated ” MMMP” for Mo Money Mo Problems.

2) Staff Reduction of Doom:

Up to 16 million players compete on-line with each other over a dwindling numbers of staff positions within a global conglomerate. Each player is required to do absolutely anything possible to make themselves appear less expendable than the others. The Player is allowed a choice of sabotage tools, including Gossip and Blackmail.

Fall prey to the Slander Lawsuit and lose everything. Successful players move up a level. All others are tossed from a 40-story building by a cackling caricature of Donald Trump. Land on someone coming to work, get a 500 point bonus. Land in a garbage can surrounded by homeless people and get another life. Rated “YFSMO” for You’re Fu**ing Stressing Me Out.

3) Moving Violation:

Patterned after many of the most popular driving games, this next generation game requires players to navigate a maze of traffic jams, road construction elderly drivers, car-jacking thugs and being cut off in traffic without shooting anyone. Randomly targeted by small town policemen with ticket quotas, the goal is to make as many trips back and forth between home and work without accumulating an excess of tickets, losing ones license or insurance coverage.

Or shooting anyone. There is an increasing level of difficulty as game avatar ages, so hurry the hell up, Grandpa. But locate the Orb of Mid-life Crisis, buy a sports car and knock ten years off Player’s age. Rated “BYTTD’ for Bore Your Teen To Death.

4) Sims Child Support:

An interactive game, The Player must meet, marry and divorce a SIM, and gain control of child support payments before their financial stability is crushed. Players can play in one of two modes: Philandering Pete or Fertile Fergie. In the Fertile Fergie mode, the player must reproduce as quickly as possible, gaining points and Child Support for each child born.

In the Philandering Pete mode, the player must avoid marrying or divorce his SIM before she gives birth to more children than he can support. The Pete avatar has an Incognito mode, while Fergie possesses the Turbo Lawsuit Power Ring. There are no levels in this game and the player who dies last wins. Rated “OC” for Oh Crap!

5) Castle of Crumbling Credit:

This is an interactive game designed for many players. Players are required to acquire material goods and maintain their opulent lifestyle, while keeping their credit manageable. Players borrow and pay off Debt, looking for the perfect balance that allows them to climb the Social Ladder without being knocked off by falling sandbags of Minimum Payments.

Players must carry water from the Well of Cheap Credit to irrigate their Investment Crop in order to advance. But beware The Margin Call of Doom, a nebulous capital sucking incubus that’s always after your Lucky Charms. Or the Ogre of Increasing Interest Rates that can send you back to Level One! 256 levels of agonizingly thankless difficulty. Rated “SAY” for Screw All Ya’ll.

These games are planned to be rolled out in time for the beginning of the Christmas shopping season or as we call it, Labor Day. So get in line now. For those of you not inclined to camp out in long lines just to buy a video game…there’s a video game for that, too.

Posted in Entertainment, Gadgets & Gizmos2 Comments

Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want

Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want

Google came out with an innovative product at an amazing price. For just $35 you can get a clever HDMI device to plug into your Hi-Def TV to receive broadcast video from nearly any wireless device in your home.

But as great as it is, it still sucks one approximate pail of floppy donkey dicks.

With this affordable device you can stream Hulu-Plus (not the real Hulu, but the one you have to pay for,) Pandora and YouTube. You can also stream anything that shows up on Google Chrome, which is nearly everything, save for a ton of the things you actually want.

If you have files saved locally to your hard drive, you might be disappointed when you try to play them. You can drag files and drop them in the address bar, and early tests said many files would work just fine.

There are literally zero files from the various cameras I’ve owned over the past few years that will play in Google Chrome. Many of the video files I get to review won’t play, which is a bummer.

I installed MyPlex to work around it, but it’s a weak workaround. It’s a tricky, mostly terrible interface. It tries to do too much without actually doing the one, basic thing you want it to. That’s no good, Google.

In a perfect world, Google would make a local player that allows for browsing by folder. Short of that, they could just support a wider variety of files in the damn Chrome browser.

Maybe Google knows better than I that I don’t really want to see my family videos again, or the home videos my friends share with me. I can admit, these are likely painfully awful videos, but seriously, if there was just even a half-assed attempt to accept a reasonable range of modern filetypes, I’d rate this a must-buy device… but it doesn’t, so I can’t.

I’ll still say it’s pretty good, and that it’s something you should think about, but the market for it as of now is pretty limited. You have to be tech savvy, you have to only desire a narrow range of filetypes to be supported, and you have to be patient as hell, since it’s still equally buggy. Equally buggy as hell.

Disclaimer: Google didn’t give me a Chromecast, I bought it myself. The only thing they ever gave me in the 8-years I’ve been working with them was a free lava lamp for participating in a marketing test, and it died within a month. I can’t say I’m not in anyone’s pocket, but I’m definitely not in theirs.

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Internets Tubes0 Comments

78% of Radio Shack 1993 Catalog Is on Your Phone, but Better

78% of Radio Shack 1993 Catalog Is on Your Phone, but Better

I recently got to reminiscing of days gone by. When I was young, carefree, and studied the Radio Shack catalog even more religiously than religion, and I was religious.

When I realized, all those gizmos and gadgets I so desperately wanted are now all on the phone in my pocket, and they’re much better, and much cheaper, and we all have access to them.

I decided to dig up an old Radio Shack catalog, choosing 1993 as it was roundly 20-years ago, and found it conveniently hosted here at Radio Shack’s official page. Continue Reading

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology6 Comments

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