Archive | Crime

Druggies Open Petting Zoo, Bites Quickly Follow (VIDEO)

Druggies Open Petting Zoo, Bites Quickly Follow (VIDEO)

Argleton — Rocky & Spyder Krakauer were indicted last year for selling stolen cars, but they’re back with what can only be called the world’s worst petting zoo.

Featuring such pet-able critters as raccoons, rats, alley cats, and even jelly fish. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Video News0 Comments

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed.

Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the NRA to get more guns into the hands of as many psychopaths as possible.

A secret email has been acquired by a hacker and turned over to Washington newspapers who in turn exposed it to the reading public. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime0 Comments

Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree

Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree

Confederate flags are wreaking havoc all over America. In Asheville, North Carolina, a Confederate flag walked into a school and impaled itself through three students.

An unidentified Confederate flag vandalized a reservoir in San Francisco, wasting millions of gallons of water in the drought-stricken area.

One Confederate flag was seen clinging to the roof of an out of control Dodge Charger speeding through a road construction site in Georgia. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Politics0 Comments

Chicago Finally Solves Its Deficit By Charging Tax On Corruption

Chicago Finally Solves Its Deficit By Charging Tax On Corruption

The recent tax Chicago levied on streaming online shows from organizations such as Netflix and Hulu has proved hugely unpopular and unprofitable even for the town famous for taxing everything possible and then having the money disappear into a great black hole in its labyrinthine governmental abyss. Continue Reading

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An Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead)

An Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead)

… but we aren’t going to let that stop us…

Glossynews has gained the unique opportunity to interview the infamous terrorist Osama bin Laden, the instigator of the 911 attacks on the U.S..

Reaching him at his present location in Purgatory, we were able to have the following conversation with him –

Glossy – Good day, Mr. bin Laden. How are you? Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Strange People2 Comments

Police Excuses As To Why They Threw A Fifteen Year Old Black, Bikini Clad, Barefoot Girl To The Ground And Pinned Her Down In McKinney, Texas.

Police Excuses As To Why They Threw A Fifteen Year Old Black, Bikini Clad, Barefoot Girl To The Ground And Pinned Her Down In McKinney, Texas.

“She might have had an Uzi in her panties.”

“She could be a Kung-Fu expert and have attacked all nine of us and beaten us up.”

“They could have had this whole pool party rigged with explosives Columbine style and she was running to set them off.”

“There is always the possibility that she is an Isis sympathizer and had explosives in her bikini top.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Crooked Cops0 Comments

DADDS Drunk Driver System Promises More Hassle, Road Deaths

DADDS Drunk Driver System Promises More Hassle, Road Deaths

NHTSA is seriously considering a mandate to put breathalyzers in every single new car on the road.

Not only is the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration considering it, they’ve been funding its research since 2008 with millions already invested.

Sure, DADDS it’s impractical, inconvenient and ineffective, but more importantly, it stands to actually increase road deaths. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

The News (Really) Bytes – May 2015

The News (Really) Bytes – May 2015

Cleveland, Ohio Police Chief says that 71 people arrested while protesting the acquittal of a police officer who shot to death two unarmed black drivers was because “a few of them went over the line.”

Of course, shooting two people 137 times is not considered “over the line” by Cleveland authorities.

That is seven bullets more than the Texas law officials used to kill Bonnie and Clyde who WERE armed, had killed 9 law enforcement agents and had twelve guns on them when they were ambushed. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Human Interest0 Comments

George Zimmerman Loses Guns, Gains 2003 Ford F-350

George Zimmerman Loses Guns, Gains 2003 Ford F-350

George Zimmerman, best known for shooting and killing the unarmed 17 year-old African-American Trayvon Martin, was back in a Seminole County Courthouse this week, having been arrested for and summarily convicted of aggravated assault for allegedly throwing a wine bottle at his girlfriend.

As part of his sentence, the judge ordered Zimmerman to surrender any and all firearms in his possession immediately. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Strange People0 Comments

Misspelled Sign Places Pep Boys in Hot Water

Misspelled Sign Places Pep Boys in Hot Water

Portland, Oregon – Manny, Moe & Jack may soon be changing their names to Fanny, Blow & Whack following the grand opening of the newest Pep Boys store on Alberta Street in downtown Portland on Saturday morning.

Prior to opening the doors for the first time, Store Manager Marc Maasseli, removed an opaque sheet of plastic covering the store’s sign to reveal “Peep Boys” instead of the familiar “Pep Boys” that the 300 customers, reporters and company executives standing outside were expecting. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Crime10 Comments

Serial Peeping Tom “Dirty” Joe Palestine Thanks Supporters

Serial Peeping Tom “Dirty” Joe Palestine Thanks Supporters

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ – In an interview with Glossy News, Middlesex Adult Corrections Facility inmate “Dirty” Joe Palestine proclaimed his innocence and announced his heartfelt appreciation for the millions of people around the world who agree that Palestine deserves his freedom.

Palestine, whose offenses spanning from 2006-2010 the New Jersey District Attorney called “the most blatant acts of unlawful voyeurism for sexual purposes (he) had ever seen,” has never admitted to any wrongdoing in regards to the 146 charges of peeping tom-related behavior. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Strange People0 Comments

Woman Who Regularly Chastises People for Offensive Jokes Now ‘Stands with Charlie Hebdo’

Woman Who Regularly Chastises People for Offensive Jokes Now ‘Stands with Charlie Hebdo’

Accompanied by her usual catch phrase, “this is NOT ok,” 25-year-old Katherine James posted an article on Facebook Wednesday night about how the tragic events regarding the French satire publication Charlie Hebdo “is a sad day for the freedom of expression.”

James, who just a few weeks prior posted an article condemning Chris Rock’s Saturday Night Live monologue because it addressed 9/11 and the Boston Marathon tragedies, went on to declare that the shooting of several French satirists for making a Muhammed joke was a “disgusting” event that violated the concept of freedom of speech that was fundamental to modern Western civilizations. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Crime1 Comment

Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building

Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building

A Montana neo-Nazi extremist organization, The Color White, Inc., claimed responsibility earlier today for the recent bombing of a building in Colorado Springs, owned by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

The building, including the part rented to the popular barbershop Mr. G’s Hair Design Studios, suffered minor damage when a grenade detonated next to a portable kerosene tank, which did not explode during the attack. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Religionism1 Comment

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release

Just over a week before the climactic release of Sony Picture’s “The Interview” starring Seth Rogan and James Franco, the studio has decided to pull out.

Sony has received a serious pounding after hackers gained access to the back door of the movie studio’s network.

With releases of salaries, social security numbers, and AIM exchanges, Sony’s stock is experiencing shrinkage as hackers are expected to tear further into the private sections of Sony’s database. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Crime2 Comments

Before Ferguson & Choking Death Of Eric Garner There Was Clifford Glover

Before Ferguson & Choking Death Of Eric Garner There Was Clifford Glover

At dawn on April 28th in 1973 Add Armstead, a black resident of Queens, New York, and his girlfriend’s son Clifford were walking down the street on the way to his weekend work at junkyard.

Suddenly a car pulls up and a white guy opens the door. He has a gun in his hand.

Thinking he was a robber, Armstead and the boy took off running. They heard the gunman yell “You black son of a bitches!”, then gunshots. The boy cried out “I’m shot!” and fell. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Crooked Cops1 Comment

Yes, Virginia, It IS possible to store 100% of police body cameras

Yes, Virginia, It IS possible to store 100% of police body cameras

It’s a fair question, but one with a very clesOar answer. Could we really keep all body camera footage from all officers in the cloud? You bet your beaten bottom, Virginia.

So how many officers we talking?

At the state, local and federal level, there are fewer than 1.3 million full-time and full-time equivalent officers in the US. Tracking down exact data is difficult, but it seems only about 60% of them are actually interacting with the public. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Crooked Cops2 Comments

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