Washingtonian Excited for Perils of Living in a Stoner State
Recently two states legalized the recreational use of marijuana: Colorado and my state, Washington. In full disclosure, even though, like Bill Clinton, I have never personally tried pot, I voted for passage of this law. And I want to apologize…
Psychologists Worried About Growth Of ‘Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome’
Mental authorities are warning of the expansion of a relatively new psychic dysfunction they have named PBFBS- Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome. It is the description given when the shopping instinct that many have developed in many countries continues to…
Haiti Uses US Aid Money to Help Bail Out Bankrupt Detroit
In what is being hailed as the most ironic turn of events of 2013, Haiti has sent the first $15M of a promised $130M to the City of Detroit in hopes of saving the city from going completely belly under….
Wild Animals of America Party Accuses Republicans of Thinking Too Much
Dateline: WASHINGTON—The Wild Animals of America Party began as an offshoot of the GOP, railing against big government for interfering with the divinely ordained inequalities in nature. “Let the natural struggle in the marketplace sort everything out,” said WAA’s founder…
Bible Quiz Proves Average American Knows Nothing About The Bible
A recent quiz written by our own staff has gone live in Beta, and early results are less than promising. It seems nobody knows the real facts of The Bible. There are questions from the Old Testament, the new Testament,…
Baby New Year Found Working in a Chinese Child Labor Camp
2014 will be delayed indefinitely. “I guess I’ll have to cover his damned shift,” grumbled 2013.
Psychic Predicts Top Entertainment News Stories of 2014
Yes, folks, it’s that time of year again when the famous Psychic to the stars, Crystal Ball, gives us a peek into the future. This time, she is narrowing her predictions down to the music and entertainment industry. Ball claims…
Past-Forward-thinking Governor Gradually Propelled Indiana Into the 19th Century
INDIANAPOLIS – Indiana’s past-forward-thinking and innovative Governor, Mitch Daniels, insists that, under his leadership, the state gradually caught up to the demands of the 19th Century. Citing the state’s handling of various social and economic issues under his watch, the…
Duck Dynasty Cancelled: A&E Introduces New Reality Show
New York City – Amid the controversy surrounding Phil Robertson and the reality show, Duck Dynasty on A&E, the network has decided to pull the plug on the once popular series in favor of a replacement that lead executives say…
31% Chance that Miley Cyrus Will Develop Frostbite During New Year’s Performance
New York, NY – Pop icon and cultural wrecking ball Miley Cyrus is scheduled to headline the festivities in Times Square, performing just before the ball drops to start the New Year. According to forecasters, the weather at midnight should…