Categorized | Entertainment, Television

Duck Dynasty Cancelled! A&E Introduces New Reality Show

Duck Dynasty Cancelled! A&E Introduces New Reality Show

New York City – Amid the controversy surrounding Phil Robertson and the reality show, Duck Dynasty on A&E, the network has decided to pull the plug on the once popular series in favor of a replacement that lead executives say will have less poultry and more Kruk, John Kruk that is.

“A lot of people were disappointed when we first announced the cancellation,” said Executive Producer, Bill Abraham. “But once we announced the show’s replacement starring national icon, John Kruk, fans immediately jumped on the bandwagon and are looking forward to the premiere in January. For heaven’s sake, we sold out of ‘Kruk This’ t-shirts within nine minutes!” Added an exuberant Abraham.

A&E’s new show, Kruk Dynasty, will follow the many faces of John Kruk, from his days as an extraordinary Major League Baseball player to his current role as a popular Baseball Analyst for ESPN. The new show will aim to win back disgruntled fans, annoyed with Robertson’s homosexual comments and those unaware that Louisiana was part of the United States.

“I was about to boycott A&E, but then they announced this little miracle and I’m back onboard!” Said longtime television buff, Harry Michaels, who claims that he once watched Kruk hit a homerun and consequently nicknamed him “Kruk Kommander.”

Kruk Dynasty will premiere on Tuesday, January 7th at 9:00 p.m. and plans to air 16 weekly episodes during the inaugural season. John Kruk’s agent was unavailable for comment, but Kruk posted on Twitter (@KrukHunt) “Excited for the new series! Sorry about the ducks!”

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This post was written by

- who has written 24 posts on GlossyNews.com.

In the history of mannkind, there have only been a handful of individuals with the talent to take genuine news and completely warp it into something that will convince an audience to believe the unbelievable. FreeMann is one of those select few. From Breadstick Island, California, he has been writing comedy, satire and parody for more than 10 years and has been published all over the web and produced on radio stations across the country. He is credited with writing the screenplays "Bar Critics," "Breadsterastyx," "Breadsterafish" and enjoys listening to "Purple Rain" and Hall & Oates on repeat.

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8 Responses to “Duck Dynasty Cancelled! A&E Introduces New Reality Show”

  1. Justice has been done.

  2. tony bobowitz says:

    This story makes me wanna hear more from jeff sussman. I’d go as far as making him the best man in my wedding.

  3. Jessica Ruiz says:

    Justice

  4. tony bobowitz says:

    I wonder if jeff sussman really enjoys tennis and skiing? I bet he also enjoys listening to purple rain and watching the greatest show of all time married with children

  5. Laura Mann says:

    I heard that this FreeMann guy has a pretty awesome wife who reads his articles even though she doesn’t know who John Kruk is.

  6. Kilroy says:

    This article just keeps on reeling ‘em in, doesn’t it?

  7. Patrick Frederick says:

    You guys are all f****ng idiots! This is clearly a fake article. Dumbass homos

  8. rfreed says:

    Gee Pat Frederick, do you talk that way in front of your kid that is in your Facebook picture?

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