Posted in News In Your Briefs

Scientists determine 87% of people who put their hands in the air actually don’t care

The other 13% are easily influenced by crowds.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Scientists determine 87% of people who put their hands in the air actually don’t care
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Ten Ways to Know You Have Writer’s Block

1.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ten Ways to Know You Have Writer’s Block
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New Photo Surfaces of Early Duck Dynasty Clan Beach Party

cc Shown are Willie, Jase and Jep with wives Korie, Missy and Jessica. photo credit: JeepersMedia via photopin

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Photo Surfaces of Early Duck Dynasty Clan Beach Party
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Duck Dynasty Being Sold Down the River by Ming Dynasty

Hey, Duck Dynasty. China called. They want you to pick up the boatload of crap souvenirs you ordered last month. Duck Dynasty paraphernalia isn’t flying off Walmart shelves anymore, which means that the warehouse that had once housed only (made…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Duck Dynasty Being Sold Down the River by Ming Dynasty
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Baby New Year Found Working in a Chinese Child Labor Camp

2014 will be delayed indefinitely. “I guess I’ll have to cover his damned shift,” grumbled 2013.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Baby New Year Found Working in a Chinese Child Labor Camp
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Duck Dynasty Christmas Not All It Was Quacked Up to Be

Christmas at the Robertsons’ homes wasn’t as merry and bright as it could have been had it not been for the family’s patriarch, Phil Robertson, spouting off about what he truly believes. Apparently Mr. Robertson didn’t get the memo declaring…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Duck Dynasty Christmas Not All It Was Quacked Up to Be
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Obama Meets with Republicans; Shows Them His Spine

President Barack Obama finally sat down with John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to discuss how to end the stalemate over the funding of government. Unfortunately, neither side could make the concessions needed to end the standoff. Upon leaving the meeting…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Meets with Republicans; Shows Them His Spine
Posted in News In Your Briefs Politics

Obama to cut education funding in “polarizing” move

In a highly polarizing move, President Obama announced he is using his executive powers to cut federal education funding by 50% in order to install polarized windows in the White House. When reached for comment, President Obama said: “In order…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama to cut education funding in “polarizing” move
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Trojan To Market New Product To Reduce Spread Of Idiocy

Trojan, a major manufacture of products designed to prevent the spread of sexual diseases, announced today that they have developed a human sized condom that can effectively prevent the spread of idiocy that is heard on right wing radio shows….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trojan To Market New Product To Reduce Spread Of Idiocy
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Jodi Arias’s Shocking Sex Claim Stuns Mormon Community

In a trial that has been laced with sexual revelations that have left many scratching their heads, probably the one that caused the most shock in the Mormon community was uttered by the defendant today. Trying to recover from days…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jodi Arias’s Shocking Sex Claim Stuns Mormon Community
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FL Governor Scott Concerned Gaping Holes Will Impact Tourism

Republican Gov. Rick Scott expressed concern today that tourist will start avoiding his state to avoid being sucked into a gaping hole. Because he failed to be explicit about which gaping hole he was concerned with, it is unsure if…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! FL Governor Scott Concerned Gaping Holes Will Impact Tourism
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NASCAR Drivers Harassing Gordon On Starting Second Behind A Girl

Not everyone is celebrating Danica Patricks pole position qualifying run. Many of the other drivers are giving grief to Jeff Gordon on not beating Danica for that position. The irony that they qualified behind him is lost on many in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NASCAR Drivers Harassing Gordon On Starting Second Behind A Girl
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Conservatives Furious Over Historical Implications Of Mississippi Error

Due to an error in not filing documents stating Mississippi’s ratification of the 13th amendment ending slavery, historical references will now show that slavery ended under President Obama’s second term. Speaker of the House John Boenher stated, “How many lucky…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Conservatives Furious Over Historical Implications Of Mississippi Error
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Pope’s Retirement Sparks Criticism Amongst Cardinals

The Pope’s sudden decision to retire has caused many of the members of the College of Cardinals to criticize his intentions. Many don’t believe the retirement fund contains any resources for an actual retired Pope, and there are many that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pope’s Retirement Sparks Criticism Amongst Cardinals
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Georgia Mans Patience Tried By Household Cleaner

A Georgia man claims that he has been unable to go out in public and plans to sue the makers of popular Kaboom cleaner. He charges that he has been waiting for over 30 days for the quick acting foam…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Georgia Mans Patience Tried By Household Cleaner
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Carnival Triumph Finally Docks, Alabama Governor To Turn It Into Tourist Attraction

The end has finally come for the unfortunate passengers on the Carnival Triumph. The ship has finally reached dock and they are slowly emerging into a somewhat civilized world. Alabama Gov. Bentley has made a statement regarding the ships arrival….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Carnival Triumph Finally Docks, Alabama Governor To Turn It Into Tourist Attraction
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Hagel Vote On Hold, McCain Delirious

The confirmation vote of Senator Chuck Hagel for Secretary Of Defense was held up today due to the inability of the senate to reach the 60 votes needed to end debate and move to the actual vote. Delays were caused…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hagel Vote On Hold, McCain Delirious
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Dorner’s Body Identified, Satan Up One

The burned body of fugitive Christopher Dorner was identified late this afternoon as the charred remains that were pulled from the burned cabin in which police believed they had him surrounded on Tuesday afternoon. While the method of identification has…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dorner’s Body Identified, Satan Up One
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American Airlines + US Airways = Oh Crap

A merger was announced this morning between American Airlines and US Airways. This has been a long expected outcome for both corporations. Many are surprised that the merger has taken so long, but then again, delays in the airline industry…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! American Airlines + US Airways = Oh Crap
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Olympic Athlete Can’t Run From Charges

Well respected olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius was charged this morning with murder in the shooting death of his model girl friend. Police report that there is a history of abuse in their relationship and are relieved that this is probably…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Olympic Athlete Can’t Run From Charges
Posted in News In Your Briefs Politics

Tea Party Demonstrators Call For Lower Taxes, Smaller Vocabulary

WASHINGTON D.C. – Throughout a rousing rally on Capitol Hill Tuesday, hundreds of Tea Party demonstrators – voicing their disapproval of Barack Obama’s presidency – championed the idea of lowering taxes and downsizing the nation’s vocabulary. Speaking over a bullhorn,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tea Party Demonstrators Call For Lower Taxes, Smaller Vocabulary
Posted in Human Interest News In Your Briefs

Study Reveals Commitment Desire from Male Subjects

A recent study from the New England Journal of Medicine reveals what some men, and one man in particular, is thinking when it comes to commitment and relationship. The particular subject was a man in his 20s when the study began, but even as the study progressed, his persistence continued.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Study Reveals Commitment Desire from Male Subjects
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Report: 58% of Unemployed Actively Failing to Look for Work

WASHINGTON D.C. – The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics has found that almost 60% of citizens registered as unemployed are nonetheless actively failing to seek out work. A study released on the department’s website indicates that approximately 15 million people…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Report: 58% of Unemployed Actively Failing to Look for Work
Posted in News In Your Briefs Politics

Clint Eastwood Kills 14 At Democratic National Convention

CHARLOTTE, NC – In a shocking rampage that also left 37 people wounded, screen legend and Republican supporter, Clint Eastwood, killed 14 people at the Democratic National Convention Wednesday. Just one week after an infamous speech at the RNC in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Clint Eastwood Kills 14 At Democratic National Convention
Posted in Crime News In Your Briefs

Target Changes Employee Uniforms – Red Shirts No Longer Safe

After multiple deaths, Target has decided to make a change in the uniforms of it’s employees. This decision was made once the connection of the uniforms was made to Star Trek. It is well known that any crew wearing a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Target Changes Employee Uniforms – Red Shirts No Longer Safe
Posted in Health News In Your Briefs

Traffic Light Nutritional Coding System Given Green Light

A new system of coding fat, sugar and salt content has been approved and would mean that all pre-packed food would have to display a colour coded guide on the front of the package. Red would mean high in fat,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Traffic Light Nutritional Coding System Given Green Light
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Chick-fil-A Manager Hugs Customer Inappropriately

Raleigh, NC – Dennis Mitchell of Raleigh, NC claims he knew nothing about the controversy surrounding Chick-fil-A when he walked into a local store to purchase an order of chicken nuggets and a drink. “All of a sudden, here comes…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Chick-fil-A Manager Hugs Customer Inappropriately
Posted in News In Your Briefs Sports Events

Local Man Seems Just A Little Too Into Archery

INDIANAPOLIS – Sitting down with his family to watch the opening rounds of the Olympic Games Friday, Indianapolis resident Damien Fenhurst was just a little too into archery, say sources. Displaying an inordinate degree of interest in the skill and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Local Man Seems Just A Little Too Into Archery
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Chick-Fil-A Changes Name to Cock-Fil-A

In an effort to appease right wing males, Chick-Fil-A has announced plans to drop the sexist word “chick” from its name to the more gender specific word “cock.” Company spokesman Hugh Jappendage clarified, saying, “We don’t want to offend anybody…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Chick-Fil-A Changes Name to Cock-Fil-A
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Olympic Opening Ceremony Rife w/ Offensive British Stereotypes

The home fans seemed pretty upset by the float car with giant, bad teeth, belching green fog indicating bad breath. The Bobby mascots endlessly chasing cartoonish burglars because they have no guns really touched a sore point too. Worst of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Olympic Opening Ceremony Rife w/ Offensive British Stereotypes