Duck Dynasty Being Sold Down the River by Ming Dynasty

Hey, Duck Dynasty. China called. They want you to pick up the boatload of crap souvenirs you ordered last month.

Duck Dynasty paraphernalia isn’t flying off Walmart shelves anymore, which means that the warehouse that had once housed only (made in America) commando duck calls is now filled ceiling to rafters with unsold Duck Dynasty souvenirs made in China.

Duck Dynasty may be second only to the United States government in owing more than its worth to Chinese banks.

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Duck Dynasty Christmas Not All It Was Quacked Up to Be

Christmas at the Robertsons’ homes wasn’t as merry and bright as it could have been had it not been for the family’s patriarch, Phil Robertson, spouting off about what he truly believes.

Apparently Mr. Robertson didn’t get the memo declaring that although the Duck Dynasty clan were to star in their own reality show, they had to check their real reality at the door.

Ironically, the only thing that is duck related but not produced by the Duck Dynasty dynasty is duck tape, but the family is furiously working on a deal to buy the entire Duck brand in the coming year.

Son Willie Robertson says spending a few billion dollars to buy out the Duck brand is gonna save us a helluva lotta money in the long run and this way, we’ll never have to worry about daddy or Uncle Si de-railing our gravy train again.”

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