Categorized | Religionism

Bible Quiz Proves Average American Knows Nothing About The Bible

Bible Quiz Proves Average American Knows Nothing About The Bible

A recent quiz written by our own staff has gone live in Beta, and early results are less than promising. It seems nobody knows the real facts of The Bible.

There are questions from the Old Testament, the new Testament, and no other testaments, since there are no other testaments acknowledged, no matter what Muslims of Mormons might say. I can make quizes for you guys too, if you like.


If you are new to the Bible, this will be a difficult quiz. If you know, or think you know more about the Bible, you’ll really love this quiz.

And if you’re an athiest, you’ll really, really love this quiz, because it’s right up your agnostic alley, if if you’re more gnostic than those you purport to know more than.

Go on. Take the quiz.

I’ll give a $500 Glossy News voucher to the first person to land a perfect score of 12/12 (without hacking the system, thank you very much Captain Kirk for ruining it for everyone else.) So dig in your heels and let’s see how much about the Bible you really know.

The Holy Bible is infallible, and as many have pointed out, infallible, so by that reasoning there can be no wrong answers. Reality might prove a tad more complicated, but that’s no obstacle for those of us who truly know God.


This post was written by

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Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.


12 Responses to “Bible Quiz Proves Average American Knows Nothing About The Bible”

  1. haHa says:

    Oh my, that was a really great Bible Quiz. Best I;ve seen in decades, and lest biased than many.

  2. Jason JayJay says:

    It offends me that you take some offhanded bits of scripture and take them as the gospel truth. The GOOD BOOK is infallible, and the fact you’d suggest otherwise is insulting to me as a person of faith, but it fares far worse for you as a person who is damned to hell.

  3. Meaghan Prstinahnall says:

    As a person equally as fake as the haters above me I blah blah whatever. This is a clever as hell commentary on the absurdity of Biblical literalism, and I for one am happy to see it thusly represented.

  4. Mark Reddit de la Reddit says:

    Yeah, just found thius page from Reddit. Holy lord it’s fun as shit. Good stuff. keep it up guys!

  5. P. Beckert says:

    I took the quiz, asshat, and I’m appalled that you have used the Bible for your own personal gain. That being said, yeah, I flunked it. Flunked it two or three times before I realized you were just toying with my devotion. Thanks a lot. Now I’m surely going to Hell.

  6. Kilroy says:

    Holy tap-dancing Jesus, the only way I failed that test was through supernatural means. That means you, sir, are a spwan of hell, not me an ignoramous. Good day, sir…I SAID GOOD DAY!

  7. Sean Myers says:

    Well, this is awesome

  8. Jesus Christ says:

    Hmmmm…Needing a little hail,thunder,and brimstone Mr.White? Repent!

  9. Becky says:

    I didn’t like it. The “correct” answer to question number 10 was incorrect. We are saved by faith and grace alone. Nothing else. (Unless this quiz was written in the Old Testament times…)

  10. Becky says:

    Guys, please don’t be sucked into stuff like this!
    The point in the quiz is to make you think you know nothing.
    Whatever answer you pick it will tell you you have the wrong one.
    Please, if you have any sense stay away from stuff like this. I don’t know who wrote this quiz but I hope they understand the weight of what they’re doing here. The Bible is the Word of God is so infallible. Be careful, don’t deliberately say it is wrong.

  11. P. Beckert says:

    Oh ye of little faith, Becky…men wrote the Bible and men are fallible. Hence, the quiz. If we lose our sense of humor, we’ve lost everything. Kinda like lost sheep perhaps. I think this quiz is pretty nifty as it makes us think and, if we are of a religious persuasion, makes us look up the answers we may not already know or think we know.

  12. Mad Max says:

    I didn’t fail it. Ask me how.


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