Author: Sean Myers
Pro-Plague Demonstrations Continue in Michigan
LANSING, Mich. – Scores of armed protestors swarmed the Michigan state capitol building, demanding to be let out of the suggested, but ultimately voluntary, stay-at-home order the governor issued last month to slow the spread of the coronavirus. Ignoring social…
Amy Poehler SCANDAL! Is new Netflix Series a GRUDGE BOMB Against Tina Fey?????
NEW YORK – Netflix’s new hit show, Russian Doll, is just a ploy by a vengeful Amy Poehler to get back at her friend and fellow comedian Tina Fey, following Fey’s repeated success in writing TV shows, and Poehler’s lack…
State-Wide, Only 5 People Now Eligible to Hold Office in Virginia
RICHMOND, Virginia – The political situation in Virginia has grown dire. First, the Democrat governor admitted that his page in his medical school yearbook has people with blackface and Klan robes in it. Then, the Democrat second-in-command lieutenant governor got…
Schumer-Ception: Senator Incepts Idea to Shut Down Government in the President
“I must not use these powers for the forces of evil,” Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) told aides after emerging from the Oval Office after a confrontational meeting with the President. He fist bumped the intern that told him to watch…
Republicans Outperform in Midterms, Russian Hackers Escape Blame
Kiev, Ukraine – Comparing the results to what pollsters had predicted in the lead up to Election Day, politicans and journalists have generally concluded that, with few exceptions, Republicans outperformed expectations by several percentage points.
Lebron James Arrives, to the Dismay of Teammates Who Wanted to Shoot
The arrival of Lebron James on the Los Angeles Lakers has not thrilled everyone. After years of dealing with Kobe Bryant taking every shot on offense, now the other players on the Lakers have to cope with the fact that…
Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building
A Montana neo-Nazi extremist organization, The Color White, Inc., claimed responsibility earlier today for the recent bombing of a building in Colorado Springs, owned by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). The building, including the part…
Appearances by the Spanish Inquisition Becoming Predictable
Melville, Montana – Just last Tuesday, Todd Johansen, loan manager of the local Bank of America, came home to find his wife, Karen, sitting deliberately at the kitchen table. “He’d called my cell during lunch and said it would be…
31% Chance that Miley Cyrus Will Develop Frostbite During New Year’s Performance
New York, NY – Pop icon and cultural wrecking ball Miley Cyrus is scheduled to headline the festivities in Times Square, performing just before the ball drops to start the New Year. According to forecasters, the weather at midnight should…
Local Parents Counting the Seconds Until Holidays End
Worchester, MA – The Henderson parents have had it. “I never thought I’d say it, but it was easier when they were all in high school,” Richard, 49 year-old father and certified accountant, said. His wife Tabatha agreed, and admitted…