Posted in Human Interest

Man Ordering Drink With Meal Undoubtedly Reincarnation Of Gluttonous Roman Emperor

BETHESDA, MD—In an obscene display of wanton excess, local restaurant patron Don Mayhew stunned onlookers as he openly indulged himself in the extravagance of a soft drink along with his meal, disdainfully eschewing the common man’s glass of ice water….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Man Ordering Drink With Meal Undoubtedly Reincarnation Of Gluttonous Roman Emperor
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Society

Choosing the Right Store Brand Ointment is Tough, For Life is Fleeting

By Guest Writer Bill Edgecomb What is this life but a single blink of the eye of an ever-expanding universe? Why do we itch? Is existence itching, the cause of which is the desire for ointment? Are we to just…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Choosing the Right Store Brand Ointment is Tough, For Life is Fleeting
Posted in Making Headlines

Guilt-Stricken Woman Slips Husband Antidote

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Guilt-Stricken Woman Slips Husband Antidote
Posted in Making Headlines

Plastic Fork Makes Valiant Effort

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Plastic Fork Makes Valiant Effort
Posted in Travel World News

Breaking: Glossy News to Feature Malaysia Flight 370 Article

GN Corporate Headquarters—After waiting long enough for someone, anyone, to address the issue that was clearly a major, current topic, Glossy News has finally caved in and decided to break their deafening silence regarding Malaysia Flight 370. “I just know…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Breaking: Glossy News to Feature Malaysia Flight 370 Article
Posted in Biz News

Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder

ANAHEIM, CA—The offices of Walworth and Rhodes were gut-punched with excitement upon seeing that an applicant’s otherwise completely unimpressive résumé had been placed inside a plastic folder. With a work history that made him an unequivocal leper in the job…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder
Posted in Society

Newborn Could Face up to 75 Years

According to sources, newborn Daniel Briggs could face up to 75 years. For the duration of his sentence, he is to live in an environment where people are known to be arbitrarily cruel, outrageously hypocritical and condemn others on the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Newborn Could Face up to 75 Years
Posted in Society

Little Boy Disguises Self as Grown Man for Party

KNOXVILLE, TN—In an attempt to blend in, local barista Wes Dinkins assumed the identity of an adult human being for the duration of a recent social gathering. Stifling his enthusiasm about video games and how often he plays them, he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Little Boy Disguises Self as Grown Man for Party
Posted in Health Opinion/Editorial

I Guess I Have an Irrational Fear of Tubes Going in my Urethra

Guest writer Doug Fedler Call me crazy, but I just don’t like the idea of having tubes inserted into my urethra. I guess everyone’s got their quirks. Maybe my thinking is a little cluttered since I’m about to have my…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! I Guess I Have an Irrational Fear of Tubes Going in my Urethra
Posted in Human Interest

Really Good Hoagie Makes Man Briefly Forget His Inevitable Death

GARY, IN—While eating at his neighborhood Quizno’s Wednesday, local man Gene Lisowski spoke with reporters about the fact that he completely forgot the inescapable reality of his own death while eating a turkey club hoagie. Lisowski described the sandwich that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Really Good Hoagie Makes Man Briefly Forget His Inevitable Death