Is Duck Dynasty’s Goose Finally Cooked?

The once-popular A&E Reality Television show Duck Dynasty is slowly sinking into oblivion as more and more people are coming out of their down-filled slumber and realizing the show does nothing more than glorify redneck values. (Hey, wait a minute. If that were the only thing to bring down a reality television series, Jerry Springer would have found himself standing in the unemployment line a long time ago.) It must be something else, read on…

The latest big name (or semi-big name depending on your age) to ruffle feathers in the entertainment world by placing his support behind the controversial show is Liam Payne of the boy band One Direction. Evidently, it’s not so cool these days to be one of the last kids on the block to admit to the guilty pleasure of watching a bunch of grown men prowling around out in the woods blowing everything to Kingdom come. Even God would have a problem with that.

But, of course, killing isn’t the controversy that got DD patriarch, Phil Robertson, in double Dutch in the first place. It was homosexuality and racism. Putting your support behind those two highly explosive issues will trump killing a bunch of wild animals just for fun any day.

Phil Robertson blames the poor ratings the show is now getting on “a bunch of wussies out there in TV Land who won’t admit they actually love watching a poor white trash rags-to-riches story.”

“Where was our millions of viewers last month when I was being held feet to fire for stating what every one of them didn’t have the man parts to say themselves?” asked a bewildered and hurt Robertson, resting his head on the over-abundant chest of his life-long partner Daisy, err, Miss Kay Robertson.

Folks are wondering where the understanding Kay’s chest was when Phil was pumped up with his self-proclaimed love of God in telling tales about a south where no black man was ever mistreated, where everyone lived in peace and harmony singing the songs of the south in ‘dem ol’ cotton fields back home.’

Evidently, Mr. Robertson only brings out the double D’s when it is absolutely necessary. Too bad he may not have them for much longer as this may be the last season for duck hunting on A&E.

As for Liam Payne, Robertson had this to say.

“I appreciate Mr. Payne coming out on our defense. I just hope to mighty God hisself that Mr. Payne doesn’t ‘come out’ in any other ways as so many of his other boy band mates have done so in the past,” proving once and for all that you can take the redneck outta the woods but you can’t, well, you get the picture.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at

3 thoughts on “Is Duck Dynasty’s Goose Finally Cooked?

  1. Wish as I may(and do!) there's just no underestimating the stupidity of the American viewing public. This show is contrived on every level and panders to the worst instincts still dwelling in our nation's psyche, but it tops the charts and it's made mad millionaires of common suck ups by catering to common suckers.

    Not for me. I won't even watch it once because I'm just sure I'd love it, and then where would I be?

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