Avid Golfer Furious Over Woman Buying 9 Iron as Weapon
SUN CITY, Florida – George ‘Mac’ McGruder, 69, has been golfing ever since he was old enough to hold a golf club. Wednesdays have always been his golf days, even when he was a physician and ran his own practice….
I was snubbed by the U.S. Olympic Ski Team
Dear U.S. Olympic Ski Team: Congratulations on an outstanding Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. And hey, that 18 year-old Mikaela Shiffrin was impressive on the giant slalom. Well done. I just have one minor complaint to register: Why did you…
2014 “Oscar Oscars” Awarded to Oscar Oscars
The Academy of Motion Picture has announced it’s post Oscar Oscars for 2014. Getting awards is an amazing moment for anyone. If you want to know where you can get awards to hand out at a contest or even your…
Giant Sinkhole Draining Gulf of Mexico
NAPLES, FL – Despite warnings of rising coastal waters around the globe, scientists, in late 2012, found that the coastal waters abutting the Gulf of Mexico were actually declining at a rate of .001 (1/1000) inches per month. While in…
Putin Sets World Record For Quickest Change Of Face In Political History
Vladimir (the Vampire ) Putin, still glowing from the success of the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia, has suddenly shown his darker side of the Force by invading and taking over the Crimea, a vital peninsula of his supposed…
Canadians Urge Ukrainians to Seek Peace through Dullness
Dateline: OTTAWA—Backed by a majority of Canadians, the Canadian government has passed a resolution urging Ukrainians to stop fighting and to handle their internal conflict by being more boring, like Canadians.
American Babies Now ‘Made in China’
Nowadays, Americans would be hard-pressed to find an item for sale that doesn’t have the ‘Made in China’ stamp on it. Go to any box store and chances are whatever you are buying was either manufactured, processed, assembled, or designed…
Aaron Hernandez Murder Weapon Found
Gainesville, Florida – Following the surprise release of a photo showing former New England Patriots tight end, Aaron Hernandez holding a BS-47 assault rifle, local police released a statement Wednesday that they have located the weapon used to kill Odin…
U.S. Military Takes Back Internet After Realizing The Frankenstein Their Creation Has Become..
The U.S. Military, the true originator of the Internet, has had enough of the shenanigans it has become and is taking it [the internet] back. “It was never meant to be the big circus that it is now.” stated General…
Seth Rogan Testifies Before Congress About Seth Rogan
In a six minute address before a Senate Hearing on Alzheimer’s research funding that has gone viral on the Internet, comedian and actor Seth Rogan was successful at focusing discussion on the lack of knowledge and attention paid to Seth…