MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighter Dennis “Superman” Hallman caused quite a stir Saturday night when he walked into the UFC ring wearing a too-tight pair of Speedo trucks to take on opponent Brian Ebersole.

UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) President Dana White claims later he was totally embarrassed watching the fight with, as he put it “Hallman’s junk practically in my face.” In fact, he was so offended that after Ebersole beat Hallman in the fight, White rewarded him (Ebersole) with a $70,000 bonus for “getting those horrific shorts out of the ring.” Continue Reading

Today, the front office of the Pittsburgh Pirates made a formal apology to Major League Baseball and all of its fans for having such a successful 2011 season so far.

“We’re ashamed to say that, this year, we haven’t done a good job sticking to our reputation of finishing in last place in the division,” manager Clint Hurdle said in a press conference. Continue Reading

Rep. Anthony Weiner decided to finally show off his results using P90X, the popular workout program that uses “muscle confusion” to go from regular to ripped in just 90 days.

Following in the the footsteps of fellow congressman Christopher Lee, who used the program himself to achieve amazing results, Rep. Weiner decided to take the plunge and use the revolutionary system of 12 sweat-inducing, muscle-pumping exercises to finally get the six-pack he’d always wanted. Continue Reading

NEW YORK, NY. GlossyNews.com – Rep. Anthony Weiner has aroused more suspicion today by neither confirming nor denying that the crotch in question is his, and reiterated his opinion that the incident is, “a distraction, and nothing more than a silly prank by someone who probably goes by a name like Willy or Wang.”

The lewd photo, which was originally posted on the pecker sharing site yhorntoad.com, was sent via Mr. Weiner’s Twitter feed to a female 21 year old college student in Bellingham, WA. Continue Reading

When Brett Favre recently announced his retirement from football (again), speculation began almost immediately that he would finally be coaxed into making his long-anticipated return to Hollywood.

For years, fans and film critics have urged the multi-talented Favre to hang up his shoulder pads and concentrate on his blossoming acting career. But his fruitless pursuit of another Super Bowl ring delayed his transition from an aging NFL quarterback to an A-list movie actor. That is, until now. Continue Reading

It was a heinous act; too vile and too great for our minds to even truly comprehend.

Lady Liberty, our much beloved symbol of America, was assaulted and callously violated today in an attack that has left the nation breathless with shock and disbelief. In a rape in which she was violated by those she had trusted and put confidence in, she was taken advantage of in ways that only lustful and disreputable minds could think of. Continue Reading

Those who follow NFL apparently know who Dwight Freeney is, even if most of America, and the landlord on his recording studio, haven’t heard a peep from him. He’s being sued for $422,150 in back rent on the studio, a sum as absurd as the idea that he should have such a facility in the first place.

TMZ obtained a copy of the lawsuit. It alleges that Freeney agreed to pay $37,500 in monthly rent for two floors in the famous Edmonds Tower building in Hollywood. Continue Reading

The US Postal Service Postmaster General, Melvis P. Phelps, introduced the new Miley Cyrus Upskirt Postage Stamp to a mostly stunned and open mouthed crowd of reporters. Over the hushed crowd, he immediately tried to explain the importance of bringing newer, more youthful stamp collectors and users into the US Postal system.

“Look folks, with the newer generations of consumers, we have to try to approach things on their terms. They like seeing their movie actors and singing stars look like sluts, right?” Continue Reading

CHEYENNE, WY – Still recovering from the Tiger Woods scandal, the sports world finds itself mired in yet another public spectacle.

Three-time PBA tour champion Slim “Fats” Fettwanst is suing Lurlene Jenks, owner of the “Preemptive Strikes” 32-lane bowling alley just outside Cheyenne, Wyoming. Jenks stands accused of damaging Fettwanst’s equipment during a crucial moment in the final rounds of the tournament. Continue Reading

ASPEN, Colorado — R&B sensation Bobby Brown left a successful stint with New Edition in 1987 to pursue a solo career, which garnered him a string of Top 10 Billboard hits and a Grammy Award. But Brown’s increasingly bizarre behavior throughout the 1990s and early 2000s began to overshadow his past glory. Continue Reading

Salt Lake City, UT – Thurl Bailey step aside, the LDS Church will soon have a new spokesmodel. In a bizarre turn of events yesterday morning, LDS Church elders in Salt Lake City announced that Tiger Woods has decided to join the Mormon Church. Woods, who has been searching for meaning to his life like a bum searching for change, stumbled upon two Mormon missionaries over the Christmas holidays and has embraced the faith. Continue Reading

NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — During a fifty-minute interview with Bob Costas on the MLB Network yesterday, former St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire confessed tearfully that he had turned to prayer in order to treat injuries that had kept him off the field repeatedly in the early 1990s. Continue Reading

If Ashley Madison is not one of Tiger Woods’ many mistresses, then who is she and what does this have to do with Tiger Woods you ask? Plenty. If you didn’t know better, you’d think that Ashley Madison was just another interior design firm, or a designer of women’s high end house dresses, or even the latest contender in ladies’ home parties like Tupperware or Pampered Chef. Right? Continue Reading

One of the UK’s legion of shit-for-brains overpaid Premier League footballers broke a woman’s nose with a single head butt after declaring, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m an effin’ millionaire”, a jury sitting at Smegmadale Assizes heard in evidence yesterday. Continue Reading

An American woman charged with offering sex in exchange for World Series baseball tickets maintains she has committed no crime nor done anything wrong by flogging her golly on the internet.

“I’m not embarrassed about my actions but I’m effin’ furious about how I was set up and then arrested,” Fellattia Wankerstein, from the Slutborough Heights area of Philadelphia, told Fux News. “I mean, even career hookers are allowed to ply their trade and wares on the public streets but when I try to get tickets for the Phillies-Yankees game I get targeted by the local Gestapo’s dodgy deviant Vice Squad.” Continue Reading

A crap-for-brains jobsworth ambulance chief refused to allow his emergency response paramedics to enter six inches of water to treat a man with a fractured spine – as it constituted a breach of heath and safety regulations.

The jinxed Wilf Fuctifino, 95, suffered agonising injuries as he stood in ankle deep water at the Smegmadale Waterpark waiting to take his self-built Scrapheap Challenge jetski out onto the lake when he was hit by a gang of pissed-up yobs joyriding in a stolen powerboat and traveling at 60 knots close to the shoreline in a vandalistic attempt to swamp fishermen with their bow waves. Continue Reading