Category: Society
Fashion Industry Schemes to Punish Men by Turning Women into Freaks
Dateline: LOS ANGELES — More and more consumers are aware that magazines hire Photoshop artists to doctor pictures of celebrities, as part of an elaborate ritual designed to appease the celebrities’ agents and to flatter the egocentric actresses so they’ll…
New Dogfish Head Brew a Blatz from the Past
Delaware based brewery Dogfish Head has released the newest in its Ancient Ale Series to mixed reviews. Dogfish Head first re-created Midas Touch from residue found on 2700 year old pottery fragments discovered in a tomb in Turkey. And after…
Weed-Smoking Potlandians Debate Whether to Legalize Nicotine, Alcohol
Dateline: CANNABISTOWN, PO—In Potlandia, marijuana is legal for recreational purposes and is commonly smoked by nearly all of the adult citizens of that country, while alcohol and nicotine are banned. But the alcohol and tobacco industries regard Potlandia’s laws…
Professor Astounds Crowd with Staggering Ignorance of Pop Culture
SAINT PAUL, MN—Speaking before a mesmerized audience at Hamline University Thursday, Professor Malcolm Forsythe floored the crowd with his complete and utter lack of knowledge regarding even the vaguest details of anything going on in recent pop culture. Stunned students…
Appearances by the Spanish Inquisition Becoming Predictable
Melville, Montana – Just last Tuesday, Todd Johansen, loan manager of the local Bank of America, came home to find his wife, Karen, sitting deliberately at the kitchen table. “He’d called my cell during lunch and said it would be…
Just Why, Exactly, Did This Woman Feel the Need For Artificial Insemination?
Yes, this is a picture of the Octomom, aka Nadya Suleman, she of the “cheaper by the dozen” fame, having given birth to the near world’s record of eight live and surviving births all at once. As you can see…
Washingtonian Excited for Perils of Living in a Stoner State
Recently two states legalized the recreational use of marijuana: Colorado and my state, Washington. In full disclosure, even though, like Bill Clinton, I have never personally tried pot, I voted for passage of this law. And I want to apologize…
Psychologists Worried About Growth Of ‘Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome’
Mental authorities are warning of the expansion of a relatively new psychic dysfunction they have named PBFBS- Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome. It is the description given when the shopping instinct that many have developed in many countries continues to…
Haiti Uses US Aid Money to Help Bail Out Bankrupt Detroit
In what is being hailed as the most ironic turn of events of 2013, Haiti has sent the first $15M of a promised $130M to the City of Detroit in hopes of saving the city from going completely belly under….
Bible Quiz Proves Average American Knows Nothing About The Bible
A recent quiz written by our own staff has gone live in Beta, and early results are less than promising. It seems nobody knows the real facts of The Bible. There are questions from the Old Testament, the new Testament,…