A lot of different communities have started a recycling program, commonly called “Cans for Kids.” The concept is to collect and recycle aluminum cans and have the proceeds go towards things such as children’s education.

Many of these programs have had a significant impact on education, providing college scholarships, funding arts programs and providing better quality education materials. Continue Reading

Social unrest was spurred this week when the Tennessee politicians began to challenge the school board biology text book selection. Many conservative politicians believed that the book was very one sided and treated several theories as fact.

The conservative view point seems to stem from chapter 18: The Digestive System. In it there is a figure of a woman with an exposed digestive tract as an aid for understanding how the human body succeeds in the manufacture of feces.

The Christian right, which maintains that girls pooping is “only a theory” and cannot be supported by certain “historical texts,” was outraged that there was not another figure in which the female abdomen was filled with love for Jesus and abstinence until marriage.

In short, the problem arose from a lack of biblical references to girls pooping.

While passages such as “And the Son, of the Father, let loose an epic excrement and the odor of heaven rolled across the land inspiring the evil doers to beat their swords into plow shears…” and “Our Savior to show that he too was man lifted his robe and allowed a stream of brown and holy excretion to roll from his body, cleansing his mind and body…” have clearly made male poop an acceptable lesson, there is not one analogous reference for women.

In fact, the only biblical references to the hither aperture of a woman pertain strictly to what many have called “bone smuggling.”

Top level creation scientists have begun searching for definitive proof for the theory of Girl Pooping, but it has been slow going initially because no one in the Christian Scientific community is willing to admit witnessing a female squeeze out anything but a baby.

Unless proof can be provided by next school year, the Tennessee School Board has agreed to create a text book selection committee to draft a sticker to place inside the current books obscuring the original image.

Chicago, Ill – GlossyNews.com – Chicago’s George Washington High School is the first in the nation to bring its gymnasium into the 21st century by replacing all of its gym equipment, including balls, bats, paddles and nets with two big-screen Nintendo Wii Stations. The idea spun out of Michelle Obama’s drive to make the nation’s youth more active and stamp out the growing trend toward juvenile obesity. Continue Reading

NEW HAVEN, CT In a move that some disgruntled faculty equate with a capitalistic effort to cut costs, Yale University will outsource its entire undergraduate educational system (collectively known as Yale College) to Singapore’s National University beginning Fall quarter 2013.

Citing spiraling education costs, Yale’s College president, R. Cheney said in a press conference held in Singapore that “the university will begin an ‘experiment’ in 2013 to see if a quality education can still be produced at an 80% reduction in costs.” Continue Reading

COLORADO CITY, Arizona (GlossyNews) — Glenn Beck University was begun earlier this year by Glenn Beck following his receiving an honorary doctorate from fundamentalist Christian-led Liberty University.

Beck now believes he is qualified to offer college-level courses in American History, Economics and the Constitution, and does so under the guise of calling his courses Faith, Hope and Charity. It is, for Beck, a noble cause. He is single-handedly teaching the “truth” to anyone who will listen. Continue Reading

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — A controversial portion of President Obama’s newest education initiative has come under fire from the American Federation of Teachers, which claims the measure is not only unconstitutional but absurd.

The provision in the President’s overhaul of the “No Child Left Behind Act” would hold all teachers accountable for their students’ performance and, in some cases, allow authorities to criminally prosecute teachers with poorly performing students. Continue Reading

Birmingham, AL Ivory tower intellectualists everywhere have taken note of the new level of entitlement achieved by Professor Amy Bishop of the University of Alabama. Used to having great perks attached to their jobs, Ms. Bishop has definitely raised the bar of academic entitlement beyond anyones expectations.

Denied tenure, which is the life long guarantee of a job at a teaching facility, a wonderful benefit unattainable for we mere mortals, Ms. Bishop went off the deep end (a place she apparently visits quite often) and shot six of her colleagues at a faculty meeting in anger over the refusal, killing three of them. As she was being taken away Ms. Bishop using her clear, lucid thinking machine, stated that they weren’t really dead. Continue Reading

AUSTIN, TX (GlossyNews) — Despite the ongoing efforts of educators to create national standards for public schools, the Texas school board has seceded from the debate by proposing sweeping changes to its social studies curriculum that would highlight the underrated achievements of conservatives, emphasize the role of Christianity in American history and include Republican political philosophies in textbooks. Continue Reading

Berkley, CA (BNSE) — California college professors and students took to the streets again today to protest Governor Schwarzenegger’s stark austerity plans to bring the deficit burdened California state budget back in line. Chief among their complaints are designated cut backs in the state’s higher education budget, including reductions in the number of courses offered, tuition increases, and a 4% pay cut for teaching professors. Outraged professors compared the pay cut to World War II Nazi Holocaust of 6 million Jews, the Rape of Nan-king, and the burning of the Library at Alexandria, among other historical tragedies. Continue Reading