Archive | Education

Psst! By the Way, the Flâneurs are Coming… ;)

Psst! By the Way, the Flâneurs are Coming… ;)

Hm… I should probably be just that little bit sneaky and conveniently forget that I’ve already told you this, but:

I am setting the price of The Great Flâneur Massacre at $2.99. Hm…

Originally said ‘intended to set,’ but I’m trying to keep on your toes, like all good flâneur-professors say when their words are challenged ;)

I believe this is a fair price to pay for a first novella; particularly one which my esteemed colleagues at Glossy News weren’t prepared to turn their noses up at, when I published two samples!

I mean, these guys sure know their David Mitchell from their David Hassellhoff, or their Noel Gallagher from their… um, Gallagher. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Education0 Comments

Confederates Mourn: State’s Rights, National Interest are COLLECTIVIST Notions!!!

Confederates Mourn: State’s Rights, National Interest are COLLECTIVIST Notions!!!

Groundbreaking research from Guru Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles from the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College has made an astonishing revelation.

Yes. In an article published in the Pan-Bushmills Journal of Transcendental Obviousnesses, Smiggles assumes the following astonishing revisionist philosophical stance:

Confederates are not rugged individualists after all!

Actually, they are every bit as collectivist as the bureaucratic ‘Big Government’ wonks they profess to despise!!! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Politics0 Comments

Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (2/2)

Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (2/2)

So, why was Jan Brewer displeased that Myanmar, Saudi Arabia and North Korea have recently banned ‘divisive and Eurocentric curricula?’

FFS! This is sheer anti-white hatred! Now, you may use whatever words you wish, young man!

… Oh wait, a girl? Is that the girl who is actually called Kim?

Oh, she’s a man? Did she get a…

Well, why doesn’t that surprise me! They’re not exactly a leading Christian nation, are they? Nothing would surprise me less! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Politics0 Comments

Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (1/2)

Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (1/2)

Myanmar, Saudi Arabia and North Korea have finally stated that ‘decadent Western capitalist/kafr/woman’ (sic) Jan Brewer of Arizona might be on to something.

Yes, they have recently passed draconian laws to prevent ‘divisive’ university studies.

Myanmar will not allow any university courses, individuals or families to exist that are Eurocentric in character.

So there will be no more even remotely nuanced accounts or critiques of Western historiography of Myanmar… Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Politics0 Comments

Great Flâneur Massacre: Fictional Endorsements, Endorsements of Fiction (2/2)

Great Flâneur Massacre: Fictional Endorsements, Endorsements of Fiction (2/2)

Shhh. Don’t laugh. This is pretty damn serious stuff.

1.

Rob, Surname-Lacking and Achingly Committed Painfully Irritating Tenure-Cadger

“Relevant?” That’s a word people in power always use to dismiss me.

Endorsement from “Dr” Kent Hovind

Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Education0 Comments

Fifty Shades of White

Fifty Shades of White

When I was first learning how to color in 1st grade, my art teacher taught us about red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black and white. Pretty much all the colors I’ve needed ever since.

Then I got my first box of 64 Crayola crayons. It blew my mind. So many colors I had never imagined. One called Reddish Orange. Another one called Orangish Red.

And Indian Red, which I could not in clear conscience draw with until they renamed it Native American Red. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Human Interest1 Comment

2015 Advice for Graduating Students

2015 Advice for Graduating Students

I’d been working as an administrative assistant at an Ivy League university for about a year when my boss, the school’s marketing director, asked me to compile a list of inspirational quotes for the graduating class.

I dutifully sent a mass email to the alumni, asking them to share the best advice they had for the students before they entered the “real” world. I then boiled down their responses to the ten most representative quotes. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education5 Comments

College Student Sues Toyota For Tinnitus

College Student Sues Toyota For Tinnitus

Stevens Point, Wisconsin—Tinnitus is a condition that causes a ringing in the ears. Nearly 1 out of every 10 Americans suffer from tinnitus.

Though severity of the noise is on a case-by-case basis, tinnitus has been known to cause people to go insane. The internal ringing gets so bad, people have jumped to their deaths off bridges, drilled out their own ear drums with power tools, and punched their in-laws unprovoked—at least that’s what I told my wife after throat chopping her father. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Health4 Comments

It Turns Out That Everything Is Obama’s Fault

It Turns Out That Everything Is Obama’s Fault

It seems as if Barack Obama is getting blamed for everything. The Republicans are blaming him for every foreign hotspot including Iraq, Ukraine and Israel.

Every domestic problem also seems to be the President’s doing, so much so that the Republicans led by Speaker of the House John Boehner even launched a lawsuit against him.

At first, I thought all this was overkill. After all, how can one man be responsible for so many things going wrong? But then it occurred to me: the Republicans are on to something good here. It’s kind of like the dog-ate-my-homework all-purpose excuse – Obama did it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Politics5 Comments

Gambling Classes to be Added to School Curriculum in 5 Different States

Gambling Classes to be Added to School Curriculum in 5 Different States

Stop complaining that school doesn’t prepare you for real life.

“The Real World, Real Skills Bill” has finally passed through the senate — adding gambling classes to the core curriculum of five states. The teachers are abuzz, students are excited and parents are desperately trying to figure out how they, themselves, can enroll. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Ailing John Kerry Combats Mainstream Logic

Ailing John Kerry Combats Mainstream Logic

The entire International Community™ (all ten or so individuals!) have been suddenly cast adrift without guidance and enlightenment…

No, it’s not, as you mighta thought, that Fox’s Glenn Beck and his MSNBC haters have hung up their microphones, leaving the entire global policy world in eternal darkness.

Nah! It’s just that John Kerry is taking a reasonably adequate break™; he’s currently in recovery from severe brain-fry. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Politics0 Comments

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence.

This sanctuary was known as a ‘library’ and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and guarded haven for this treasure of peace whether it be in Bangladesh or the heart of Manhattan.

There entities known as “librarians” would covet and protect this precious jewel of quietude against all assailants be they obnoxious brats, overheated fine payers or homeless wrecks. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Yes I Can! President Obama Decides to Become Kindergarten Chanter

Yes I Can! President Obama Decides to Become Kindergarten Chanter

When President Obama’s presidency finishes, he won’t be out of a job. Well, he might be out of a job before his Presidency finishes, if the Republicans succeed in impeaching him.

Still, the President says that whenever he leaves the Oval Office, he’s going to use skills he has already required on-the-job, in order to further advance his career.

So, look at what he has to say about this: Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Sex Ed Declared Gross and Bad

Sex Ed Declared Gross and Bad

Oakland, Indiana — Sexual Education is a course dealing with human sexuality, including anatomy, reproduction, health, and reproductive rights and responsibilities.

The topic of whether or not sexual education should be instructed in public schools is still highly controversial and a common debate even in 2014.

Jefferson Middle School recently adapted a semester long Sex Ed course required for all seventh graders. This decision received a lot of backlash from angry parents who subsequently demanded a public forum with the Oakland City Schools board to explain their side of things. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Health1 Comment

HS Student Answers Every SAT Question w/ “Google”, Gets Perfect Score

HS Student Answers Every SAT Question w/ “Google”, Gets Perfect Score

HERMINIE, PA — Local High School Student Roger Burman recently scored a perfect 2400 on the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) after answering every question with the word, “Google,” sources report.

According to English Teacher Frank Gimley, who proctored the exam, “I figured something was different about [Burman] right off the bat. We started with the Mathematics section, and all these kids were scrawling equations like crazy. But not Roger. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Technology2 Comments

Professor Astounds Crowd with Staggering Ignorance of Pop Culture

Professor Astounds Crowd with Staggering Ignorance of Pop Culture

SAINT PAUL, MN—Speaking before a mesmerized audience at Hamline University Thursday, Professor Malcolm Forsythe floored the crowd with his complete and utter lack of knowledge regarding even the vaguest details of anything going on in recent pop culture.

Stunned students and visitors alike sat with mouths agape in awed admiration as he listed various figures and subjects with a dignified distance that most of them could only dream of. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Education0 Comments

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