Category: Entertainment
Professor Astounds Crowd with Staggering Ignorance of Pop Culture
SAINT PAUL, MN—Speaking before a mesmerized audience at Hamline University Thursday, Professor Malcolm Forsythe floored the crowd with his complete and utter lack of knowledge regarding even the vaguest details of anything going on in recent pop culture. Stunned students…
Elle Magazine’s February Cover to Feature X-Ray of Mindy Kaling’s Skeleton
NEW YORK — Elle Magazine recently unveiled its February cover, which features an X-ray photograph of Mindy Kaling’s skeleton. According to professional photography critic Gilroy Franscesco, “This cover is so magnificent and tastefully done that words simply cannot describe. That’s…
Appearances by the Spanish Inquisition Becoming Predictable
Melville, Montana – Just last Tuesday, Todd Johansen, loan manager of the local Bank of America, came home to find his wife, Karen, sitting deliberately at the kitchen table. “He’d called my cell during lunch and said it would be…
Adam Lambert Likes the Feel of Dead Animal Around His Neck
Adam Lambert, runner-up on Season 8 of American Idol fame, was spotted throughout the streets of New York the past few days sporting a very warm and cozy looking coat with what appeared to be one or possibly more large…
GlossyNews January, 2014 Contest Announced
Winners from December will be announced this evening, with a story detailing the victors within the next week. The January, 2014 contest is more of the same from last month, almost exactly. $150 if your January story is the top…
Just Why, Exactly, Did This Woman Feel the Need For Artificial Insemination?
Yes, this is a picture of the Octomom, aka Nadya Suleman, she of the “cheaper by the dozen” fame, having given birth to the near world’s record of eight live and surviving births all at once. As you can see…
Colorblind Woman Cries After Reading The Onion
Napsanotices, Illinois – Following the advice of her trustworthy coworker on Tuesday, 27 year old, Jane DeWitt of the suburbs just outside of Chicago decided to purchase the ingredients for a roast brisket in order to comply with her coworker’s…
Psychic Predicts Top Entertainment News Stories of 2014
Yes, folks, it’s that time of year again when the famous Psychic to the stars, Crystal Ball, gives us a peek into the future. This time, she is narrowing her predictions down to the music and entertainment industry. Ball claims…
Duck Dynasty Cancelled: A&E Introduces New Reality Show
New York City – Amid the controversy surrounding Phil Robertson and the reality show, Duck Dynasty on A&E, the network has decided to pull the plug on the once popular series in favor of a replacement that lead executives say…
31% Chance that Miley Cyrus Will Develop Frostbite During New Year’s Performance
New York, NY – Pop icon and cultural wrecking ball Miley Cyrus is scheduled to headline the festivities in Times Square, performing just before the ball drops to start the New Year. According to forecasters, the weather at midnight should…