Adam Lambert Likes the Feel of Dead Animal Around His Neck

Adam Lambert, runner-up on Season 8 of American Idol fame, was spotted throughout the streets of New York the past few days sporting a very warm and cozy looking coat with what appeared to be one or possibly more large dead raccoons attached at the neck.

Upon closer inspection (after having chased down Lambert for several blocks on a somewhat icy NY sidewalk) a cameraman confirmed that, indeed, it was raccoon, but could not determine how many or the location where the animal(s) were harvested for this particular coat.

The paparazzi screamed at Lambert to stop or he’d report him to PETA, and Lambert slowed down enough to answer this question lobbed at him, “Hey Adam, do you like the feel of dead animal around your neck?

Lambert, quite possibly feeling like a deer caught in the cross-hairs, quickly answered back “Well, yeah, I guess,” and kept moving, thus avoiding having his lovely coat splattered with fake animal blood.

While knowing that Adam Lambert likes the feel of dead animals around his neck isn’t particularly newsworthy, he hasn’t done anything else lately that is. If he does surface again above the radar, we will hopefully get the news to you faster than a PETA activist can say “How many animals had to die to keep you warm today?”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at

23 thoughts on “Adam Lambert Likes the Feel of Dead Animal Around His Neck

  1. i really, really hope this isn’t true. There is absolutely no reason for ANYONE to wear real fur these days. I’m a huge Lambert fan, but would never condone him wearing fur. Animal fur belongs to the animal-always.

  2. Lucky you Lauriellen. Bet you can predict what Adam is going to do next before he does it and then write something funny about it. How cool is that? I can only make shit up.

  3. Is it OK to wear a live animal around your neck? And I still don’t get what spilling ink or fake blood onto a fur coat really does, other than cause the wearer to go and buy another one. If you believe in recycling, donate that perfectly good fur to a homeless shelter.

  4. Daniel Boone called, he wants his backwoods style back. No seriously, Adam ought to run for Congress. When he falls behind in the polls, he can always be carried into office in the arms of an angel, far away from here.

  5. Okay, the “dead animal” Adam wears is fake black fox. Just google some facts before you write the articles. Probably you ever saw raccoon neither black fox in your life. Anyway, if you don’t have anything else to do, write about JB or Kardashians. Their life is always full of surprises.

  6. @Katherine…I am a writer…I don’t make enough money to afford leather chairs. I’m sure most of you are going to come at me and say I certainly am NOT a writer. So let the games begin. I’m ready. I’m a huge Adam fan myself by the way. So, I apologize to him and God for this awful post in advance.

  7. those paps were probably running up to him wearing their leather boots and belts and gloves.and the author of this story is sitting in a leather chair.Pot meet ketlle.

  8. Wow! Must be a SLOW news day!!! Love Adam Lambert. Raccoons? Where I live they are considered pests. Hey, maybe Adam just collected the pelts from roadkill. Lots of that around here also. If you find motherless young ones and report it, they will just euthanize them.

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