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GlossyNews January, 2014 Contest Announced

GlossyNews January, 2014 Contest Announced

Winners from December will be announced this evening, with a story detailing the victors within the next week.

The January, 2014 contest is more of the same from last month, almost exactly. $150 if your January story is the top traffic story of the month. No cheating, please, I check the stats. If you don’t beat me or the archives, the top story for the month still wins $75.

Plus there will be two $50 judge’s choice awards. I’m not sure I can handle judging what the “funniest” story is again. There were so many eligible stories I feel cruel not picking all of them (which is why I added a few extra prizes, in good faith.)

These Judge’s Choice awards will be based on a mix of sum author readership, author participation in comments, comments received on stories, funniest to me, and other factors-X I dare not nail down in advance.

Submit early, submit often, and don’t hesitate to submit late, since many of our winners came in the last week of December, with the top story being published the very last day of the month. All traffic through February 5th will be counted for January submissions, so winners will be announced sooner than before.

The contest for February (which is definitely happening) will look very, very different, but I have a lot of technical challenges to overcome before then. I’m working on it, rest assured.

If you’re not already a contributor to, check out our satire submission page to get started.


This post was written by

- who has written 541 posts on

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.


4 Responses to “GlossyNews January, 2014 Contest Announced”

  1. kilroy says:

    If I win, I’ll donate my winnings to Detroit. I promise!

  2. Jesus H. Christ says:

    Kilroy my son, you are blessed.
    I promise to intervene. Sleep. Dream.
    When you awake you’ll have the greatest idea for a prize winning story, also you’ll be able to touch your forehead with your tongue just as you wished when you were 19.

  3. P. Beckert says:

    ***The contest for February (which is definitely happening) will look very, very different, but I have a lot of technical challenges***

    Dear editor,

    You do realize how difficult it is for us (we) writers to come up with story ideas let alone having the rug pulled out from under us mid-contest. If the new rules include any of the following, I’ll have to disqualify myself early:

    Clown face painting
    Turkey bowling
    Serious satire

    That last one will most certainly do me in. I’ve been serious about a lot of things…just ask my cardiologist, but satire has never been one of them.

    thank you.
    a contributor

  4. Kilroy says:

    Jesus H. Christ! How’d you know that? Seriously where’s that mini-bike I wanted for Christmas that year?


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