Month: September 2014
Mitch McConnell Totally “¿Amores?” Minority Voters
Another Mitch McConnell campaign video Fact-Checked, another one rated 100% True!, depending on how you feel about beige people. We’ve already fact-checked his Mitch McConnell Supports Women and Mitch Supports your Big Business of Every size, and found them to…
Pelosi’s Socialist Speech Code, Anti-GOP Persecution
In a move causing widespread ripples of non-surprise, Nancy Pelosi has not-so-secretly used her Senatorial Privileges to unilaterally ram through a Socialist Speech Code for Californian police. Don’t worry; obviously, this use of the previously unheard-of Senatorial Decree option is…
Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains
In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be. The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget…
Adrian Peterson: “I Discipline My Children with Breadsticks”
Minneapolis, Minnesota – Adrian Peterson has finally shed some light on the child abuse case brought against him last week that led to him being placed on the NFL’s exempt list. “To be extremely blunt, I have always disciplined my…
Taylor Swift’s “Sh*t List” Keeps Growing
The ongoing feud between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry has reached a boiling point that even puts recent ISIS headlines to shame. This bloody battle, comparable to the likes of Gettysburg, allegedly began over self-proclaimed asshole, John Mayor. The most…
Netflix to Extend Time Elapsed Before “Are You Still Watching?” Prompt
CALIFORNIA: Neil Hunt, Chief Product Officer for Netflix, announced today that the company would be increasing the amount of time a viewer must watch a show before the video service asks if they are, indeed, still watching. “In 103% of…
Breaking News: Russia Plans Invasion of Scotland if They Secede
The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the ‘Yes’ vote…
Yes I Can: President Obama Decides to Become Kindergarten Chanter
When President Obama’s presidency finishes, he won’t be out of a job. Well, he might be out of a job before his Presidency finishes, if the Republicans succeed in impeaching him. Still, the President says that whenever he leaves the…
Service Group Logs More Photos than Hours Worked
TUSCALOOSA,AL- This summer, 9 University of Alabama students traveled to New York City for a one week trip focused on community service. During their week, each student logged 25 hours of service and the group collectively returned with 1,257 photos…
Santorum’s Untimely September Crusade Against Wal-Mart
OK, I know the following article seems pretty anachronistic (in more ways than one, maybe). Still, if politicians make “untimely interventions” in issues that are more safely consigned to a different part of the calendar, it’s not my fault. Yes,…