Posted in Celebrity Gossip Religionism

Perry/Santorum: Top Papal Award, Christian Fakers Annihilated

Oh-so-conspicuously unashamed Christian, Rick Perry, is not actually painfully, embarrassingly, and conspicuously unashamed today; just plain-ol’-vanilla-grindin’ embarrassed. Pope Francis has accidentally made Perry a Papal Knight, instead of the similarly-monikered Rick Santorum. But far from being flattered, Perry is distinctly…

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Posted in Politics

Purr Gate

David Cameron coughed up a fur ball this week when he told ex-mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg that the Queen “purred” when she had heard the result of the Scottish Referendum. During this conversation it has also been revealed…

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Posted in Biz News Crime

Tax Evasion As Public Policy: The AMT/Gordian Story

Skyrocketing health care costs are a major public policy issue. The Affordable Care Act has limited mechanisms to reign in these costs, but, really, we, the providers of health care products and services, must lead on this issue. We must…

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Posted in Society Sports Sports Scandals

Ray Rice Condemns Couple for Wasting Produce

Baltimore, Maryland – “That’s not the foundation for a healthy relationship,” suspended NFL running back, Ray Rice, shouted to the media from his front doorstep, Friday morning, moments after seeing video footage of a couple in his own neighborhood discarding…

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Posted in Politics Religionism

A Psalm for the Tea Party

1) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want–to talk to liberals. 2) He maketh me lie down in untaxed green pastures: he leadeth me to the clear waters of pro-Gun states where I can shoot deer or thieves…

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Posted in War Zone

Homeland Security Warns of “Out-For-Blood” Radical Group Calling Itself “Red Cross”

WASHINGTON — The Department of Homeland Security released a statement yesterday afternoon warning U.S. citizens of recent efforts by a group of homegrown radicals whom officials say are “out-for-blood.” Reports indicate the organization is calling itself Red Cross. According to…

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Posted in Sports Sports Scandals

Announcing a new, politically correct name for the Washington Redskins

Lately, all the media attention about the NFL has centered on the issue of domestic abuse. But long before that issue grabbed the headlines, another controversy had been building for months, even years: The often emotional debate over the name…

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Posted in Entertainment Society

The Funniest Fortune Cookie Messages

Has anyone else noticed that there’s a day for everything? Women’s day (although we really should even it up and have Men’s Day), Book Day, Non-Smoking Day, Dress Like A Pirate Day etc. Well, the list is growing – September…

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Posted in Health Religionism

Vatican Wafer Gate

Wikileaks has done it again. The release of 3.4 billion database searchable electronic records is reverberating around the Internet with many new stunning revelations. The latest to be revealed is a series of directives between the US and the Vatican….

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Posted in Politics

Hillary Clinton Latest in Nude Celebrity Photo Scandal

Aspiring Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appears to be the latest notable figure involved in the nude celebrity photo leak scandal, according to traumatized sources who have seen the photos. “I can’t believe I saw those pictures!” said TMZ spokesperson Alicia…

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Posted in Politics Video News

Mitch McConnell Totally “¿Amores?” Minority Voters

Another Mitch McConnell campaign video Fact-Checked, another one rated 100% True!, depending on how you feel about beige people. We’ve already fact-checked his Mitch McConnell Supports Women and Mitch Supports your Big Business of Every size, and found them to…

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Posted in Crime Politics

Pelosi’s Socialist Speech Code, Anti-GOP Persecution

In a move causing widespread ripples of non-surprise, Nancy Pelosi has not-so-secretly used her Senatorial Privileges to unilaterally ram through a Socialist Speech Code for Californian police. Don’t worry; obviously, this use of the previously unheard-of Senatorial Decree option is…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Technology

Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains

In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be. The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Sports Scandals

Adrian Peterson: “I Discipline My Children with Breadsticks”

Minneapolis, Minnesota – Adrian Peterson has finally shed some light on the child abuse case brought against him last week that led to him being placed on the NFL’s exempt list. “To be extremely blunt, I have always disciplined my…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Music

Taylor Swift’s “Sh*t List” Keeps Growing

The ongoing feud between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry has reached a boiling point that even puts recent ISIS headlines to shame. This bloody battle, comparable to the likes of Gettysburg, allegedly began over self-proclaimed asshole, John Mayor. The most…

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Posted in Biz News Technology

Netflix to Extend Time Elapsed Before “Are You Still Watching?” Prompt

CALIFORNIA: Neil Hunt, Chief Product Officer for Netflix, announced today that the company would be increasing the amount of time a viewer must watch a show before the video service asks if they are, indeed, still watching. “In 103% of…

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Posted in War Zone World News

Breaking News: Russia Plans Invasion of Scotland if They Secede

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the ‘Yes’ vote…

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Posted in Education Kidz Zone

Yes I Can: President Obama Decides to Become Kindergarten Chanter

When President Obama’s presidency finishes, he won’t be out of a job. Well, he might be out of a job before his Presidency finishes, if the Republicans succeed in impeaching him. Still, the President says that whenever he leaves the…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

Service Group Logs More Photos than Hours Worked

TUSCALOOSA,AL- This summer, 9 University of Alabama students traveled to New York City for a one week trip focused on community service. During their week, each student logged 25 hours of service and the group collectively returned with 1,257 photos…

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Posted in Politics Religionism

Santorum’s Untimely September Crusade Against Wal-Mart

OK, I know the following article seems pretty anachronistic (in more ways than one, maybe). Still, if politicians make “untimely interventions” in issues that are more safely consigned to a different part of the calendar, it’s not my fault. Yes,…

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