Paleontologists Find Mastodon Remains in Congressmen Waxman’s Paleolithic Nostrils
Washington, DC- Glossy News – (House of Representatives-Capitol Hill) Congressmen Henry Waxman (D-CA) never guessed he would be in the news for something un-related to politics, but stranger things have happened to people as strange looking as the Democratic Representative…
A Barack by Any Other Name Should Smell As Sweet
Washington, DC – Glossy News – A Barack by any other name might smell just as sweet, but there is one in Saudi Arabia that is a real stinker. When Sheik al Ghandi, a higher up in Saudi society, made…
How I Hate My Wife’s Magazines “for Women”
These woman’s magazines that my wife read are filled with well-fashioned commercials of materialistic and luxury-seeking beauty and life styles. So much that I can smell the hands of the high intellectuals who have carefully crafted these rhetoric to fool…
Stimulus Bonanza – Federal Reserve to Sell Vitamin Supplements
Jackson Hole, WY (GlossyNews): Mired with increasing signals of an unexpected economic slowdown and the possibility of a double dip recession, the Federal Reserve announced a series of “unconventional” programs it is prepared to undertake in order to stabilize the…
Entire US Psy-Ops In Iraq Must Undergo Psych Eval
Norfolk, VA – Glossy News – The entire Psy-ops division of the U.S. Army that has been on duty in Iraq since the wars beginning has been ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Disturbing results have come about as a result…
Tibet’s Dalai Lama Takes Credit for Recent Chinese Earthquake
Lhasa, Tibet – Glossy News – The Dalai Lama has spoken up and taken credit for the recent earthquake that hit China. Citing recent ‘bad karma’ over the suppression of Tibet’s population, the Dalai Lama said he would pray for…
Glenn Beck Threatens to Create New Religion “Ameri-Mormonistianity”
Coming off the self-proclaimed super success of his Restoring Honor Rally in Washington, D.C., Glenn Beck has reached the level of leadership needed to take his prophetic brand of hegemony to the next level. But is his firebrand flavor of…
Church Says Censoring Muhammad Violates Equal Opportunity Hate
In a classic U-turn change of mind the creators of the popular pint sized animated television show “South Park” decided to sensor their 200th episode. This preceded an almost global outcry from Muslims following the depiction of Muhammad [saw] in…
McMahon Wants to Wrestle for Senate Seat
Half Nelson Bay, CT (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Republican Linda McMahon challenged Democrat Richard Blumenthal to wrestle her for the Connecticut Senate seat rather than wait for the outcome of the November election. McMahon,…
Taco Bell Chihuahua Births Anchor Pups Beneath Porch
Bella, former Taco Bell spokes-chihuahua has produced a litter of anchor pups under the Newsome family’s front porch. Mr. Newsome is beside himself and wants to kill the damn thing and its entire family. “We don’t have the money to…