Posted in Biz News Crime

Banks Face Fines for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

DOVER, Delaware (GlossyNews) – Justice Department investigators confirmed today they are considering possible fines and other penalties against several of the United States’ largest financial institutions for the murders of hundreds of homeowners delinquent in their mortgage payments. The Justice…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Banks Face Fines for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners
Posted in Human Interest Religionism

Westboro Baptist Sues God Claiming He “Doesn’t Really Mind Fags”

Washington, DC (GlossyNews.com): The Westboro Baptist Church, the controversial religious sect best known for protesting the funerals of slain war veterans and their “God Hates Fags” protest signs, announced a startling lawsuit against God in Federal District Court today. According…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Westboro Baptist Sues God Claiming He “Doesn’t Really Mind Fags”
Posted in Politics World News

WikiLeaks Revelation: Iranian President “Some Kind of F’d Up Elf”

Sydney, Australia (BNSE): Wikileaks, the controversial Australian based organization which recently rocked the American intelligence community with the release of thousands of classified documents linked to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, has sent shock waves again with the release…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! WikiLeaks Revelation: Iranian President “Some Kind of F’d Up Elf”
Posted in Politics Society

Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews

NEW BRIGHTON, Pennsylvania (BNSE) — State and local law enforcement agencies were placed on high alert today as thousands of idiot nephews began massing around the state in the wake of massive layoffs from state agencies and local businesses due…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews
Posted in Biz News Crime

‘Canadian’ Quarter Leads to Terrorist Arrests at Unemployment Office

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — Agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigations, Department of Homeland Security, and SWAT teams from around the are descended on a local unemployment office after a random security sweep uncovered “terrorist paraphernalia” on several adults filing…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! ‘Canadian’ Quarter Leads to Terrorist Arrests at Unemployment Office
Posted in Health Society

Times Square Bomber Gets Plea Deal – Turned in 6 Smokers

NEW YORK, New York (GlossyNews) — Department of Homeland Security officials admitted today at an early morning press conference that Faisal Shahzad, 30, the alleged “Times Square Bomber,” was released on bond at the behest of New York City leaders…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Times Square Bomber Gets Plea Deal – Turned in 6 Smokers
Posted in Biz News Top Stories

Stimulus Bonanza – Federal Reserve to Sell Vitamin Supplements

Jackson Hole, WY (GlossyNews): Mired with increasing signals of an unexpected economic slowdown and the possibility of a double dip recession, the Federal Reserve announced a series of “unconventional” programs it is prepared to undertake in order to stabilize the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Stimulus Bonanza – Federal Reserve to Sell Vitamin Supplements
Posted in Top Stories World News

Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Note on UN Desk

Washington, DC (GlossyNews): In its toughest rhetoric yet, the Obama Administration lashed out at Iran’s ongoing nuclear enrichment program. Iran maintains the program is only intended to develop a domestic nuclear fuel source for civilian electrical power generation, an explanation…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Note on UN Desk
Posted in Health Society Top Stories

Man Stumped Over Penis Mishap

FALLS TOWNSHIP, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — Court documents released today revealed startling accusations from a Philadelphia area stock broker’s lawsuit against a nationally known erectile dysfunction clinic for their alleged amputation of both the plaintiff’s legs in a botched attempt to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Man Stumped Over Penis Mishap
Posted in Top Stories World News

Castro Warns of Nuclear War. Blames “Damn Kids on Lawn.”

HAVANA, Cuba – (GlossyNews) Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, delighted Cuba’s Parliament with his first public appearance in over four years. A strong, healthy, and vigorous Castro amazed Cuba’s leaders and the assembled press corps alike with his deep grasp of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Castro Warns of Nuclear War. Blames “Damn Kids on Lawn.”