Keith Olbermann Announces 174th Day of Mind-Numbing Ordinariness in Columbus, Ohio
As every viewer of Countdown with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC knows, at the very end of his show, Keith Olbermann makes a point of counting down the days from when Bush declared “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq, the beginning of the…
The Political Messiah Fleeces His Flock
The charismatic figure stood above the masses gathered before him ready to seduce them with his glorious speech. He had purposely chosen a historic location for the event, one whose beloved presence in the minds of the populace would lend…
Palin Declares War on China
Bouffant Falls, AR (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. (Glossy News) – Presumed 2012 GOP presidential primary entrant Sarah Palin declared war on China today, though she admitted she wasn’t certain “it can be allowed” from…
Pakistani Man Shuts Down Internet Due To Footwear Problems
Nobi Patel was visibly discouraged as he searched shop after shop looking for a comfortable pair of shoes to wear while bicycle powering up his village’s internet section. After almost a week of no internet connections, angry neighbors were hurling…
IQ of iPhone 4 Buyers Related to Place in Line at iPhone Sale
Tawdry Soup has found the IQ level of iPhone 4 purchasers is directly related to the place in line each person had when the portable phones went on sale, and the figures are surprising. In the survey, administered as Tawdry…
Sarah Palin Applauds President Obama at Beck Rally
Sarah Palin gave a surprise second speech Saturday at Glenn Beck’s “Restore Honor” rally in Washington, D.C. In it, she praised President Obama for finally bringing our combat troops home from Iraq. “As a mother of a combat soldier,” I…
Boehner Promises Nothing From GOP
Orange, OH (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. House leader John Boehner vowed that if the GOP captures control of Congress this November, it will do “absolutely nothing for as long as necessary.” Speaking to an…
National Stay Home from Work Day Boycott Gaining Momentum
While the Tea Baggers are busy off rallying for their causes, the Populist Party has come up with what they believe is a more effective way to get the attention of big corporate interests to pay attention to just how…
Ex-VP Dick Cheney Injured in Serious Hunting Accident
TYLER, Wyoming – (Glossy News) -Ex-Vice President Dick Cheney is an avid hunter and has filled his time during retirement by duck hunting near his Casper, Wyoming ranch. According to friends, Cheney recently was out on the marsh for a…
Steinbrenner Options Satan for Minor Mephistopheles to be Named Later
HELL (GlossyNews) — Word comes via famed psychic John Edwards, that legendary sports icon George Steinbrenner has not gone ‘gentle into that good night.’ Other sources confirm Edwards’ assertions. The former Yankees owner has discharged Satan from any further managerial…