McMahon Wants to Wrestle for Senate Seat

Half Nelson Bay, CT (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Republican Linda McMahon challenged Democrat Richard Blumenthal to wrestle her for the Connecticut Senate seat rather than wait for the outcome of the November election.

McMahon, a former World Wrestling Federation executive and wrestler, left no doubt she believed she could defeat Blumenthal. “He’s got a big mouth out here, but let’s see how he does in the ring,” McMahon told her cheering supporters. “I’ll put his policy positions where the sun don’t shine.”

Political analysts doubted the proposed match will move forward. According to sources, Blumenthal will only agree to wrestle if he can enter the ring wearing a cape, but McMahon wants to wrestle using a “Wonder Woman” persona, which also requires a cape.

Late yesterday, a McMahon advisor attempted to break the impasse by suggesting Connecticut voters decide who will wear a cape, then holding the wrestling match to determine the state’s next Senator.

But Connecticut’s Secretary of State squashed the idea as too costly.

“That approach would require the expense of a special election, something our state budget simply cannot fund,” said a spokesperson. “We suggest the candidates flip a coin to see who wears the cape, then wrestle for the seat accordingly.”

Author: norbert b. snortwhistle

Norbert Bibbington Snortwhistle is not the author’s real name. A freelance writer living in a California beach town, Mr. Snortwhistle writes about business, politics and other strange affairs. You can read his articles on investing and the economy, posted under the name ‘Low Sweat Investing,’ here.