Man Suffers Hernia, Sues Fast Food Chain
Jason Dimples, a 27-year old iron worker from Youngstown, Ohio, has recently filed a Complaint for injuries he received several months ago while dining with his family at a local fast food restaurant. In his Complaint, Dimples alleges he was…
Gun Laws, Same-Sex Marriage, Women’s Rights, Economy, Healthcare Reform, Abortion, Stem Cell Research, Syria, Education Set to Become Number One Issue of Election
WASHINGTON D.C. – With the presidential election just 3 months away, political insiders believe that the one central issue facing the candidates in November will be gun laws, same-sex marriage, women’s rights, the economy, healthcare reform, and just generally everything…
Gun Companies Realize More Profit Made Being Patriotic to Taliban than US
A major financial shift has occurred within the manufacturing section of the United States Corporate industry. A huge surge has come about in the number of guns and ammunition being clandestinely sold to the Mid East terror organization Al Queda.
Evidence of Life Discovered on Surface of Marsh
ANDERSON – In what has become a sensational development, sources today confirmed the discovery of life on the surface of Marsh – the Indianapolis-based food retail store. It was previously believed that life could not flourish on the store’s floor,…
Area Grandma Thinks Googling is Sex Act
A local grandmother has become convinced that “the Google” is an amorous maneuver performed during the sexual act of “Googling.” After watching a local news segment that profiled young couples who Googled each other after the first date, 74-year-old Gail…
Crappy UK Website Denies Breaking News Princess Diana Was Murdered
“We didn’t break that news,” stated www.cafespike.com site administrator Martin Shuttlecock. “Somebody probably got us confused with the Daily Mail. Or the Express. Whatever.” Inside information has revealed that cafespike.com is staffed by a team of enthusiastic amateurs who are…
General Mills Out of Egypt: We’re Not Coup-Coup for These Cocoa Puffs
International food conglomerate and global diabetes proponent General Mills this week announced that they’ll be shuttering operations in Egypt, following unrest, citing “things to cuckoo even for us.” The 2nd largest buyer of corn syrup in the history of the…
Exclusive Interview: Julianna Rose Mauriello – Stephanie from LazyTown
Following a number of articles on Glossy News, Julianna Rose Mauriello, formerly Stephanie of LazyTown fame, agreed to sit down with us for an exclusive interview over Skype. READ ALSO: • Stephanie from LazyTown Arrested for Prostitution? • Julianna Rose…
So you think you know Canada, eh? Seven myths about our neighbors to the north
The United States shares a border with its neighbor to the north, Canada, that’s 5,525 miles long – or if you happen to be Canadian, that’s 8,891 kilometers – not that anybody really uses kilometers, mind you. Did you know…
Man Bites Tongue; Unable to Eat His Words
A local man has found himself in quite a difficult situation as he unfortunately bit his tongue and was unable to eat his words after spouting off at his mother-in-law during her holiday visit to their home. Henry Smouth of…