Evidence of Life Discovered on Surface of Marsh

ANDERSON – In what has become a sensational development, sources today confirmed the discovery of life on the surface of Marsh – the Indianapolis-based food retail store.

It was previously believed that life could not flourish on the store’s floor, but recent studies have unearthed a plethora of biped-like creatures roaming the surface looking for food.

“It is truly one of the most remarkable observations in the history of retail,” said researcher Lillian Mullen.

“These ape-descended creatures, who mostly appear to be primitive in their genetic make-up, move from one territory to another, gathering sources of nutrition before seemingly migrating elsewhere.

We’re not talking about intelligent life-forms here, but the fact that they are living and breathing is a start.”

Meanwhile, cross-examination of the clothing choices and hairstyles of the life-forms would appear to place the origin of the species at around 1987.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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