Category: Society
The Price That Makes A Joke Of All Life
Just how much is to be expected out of a human in this so-called great United States of America of ours? My mother worked hard all her life, either raising four children in a rat-assed Midwest dying industrial town or…
Sports Channel Scrapes Bottom, Covers Mini Golf
There’s nothing elegant about a three-year-old putting madly at a ball he can’t seem to square up on, but it seems one channel has gone the extra mile by making him an internet sensation. The golfer in question is a…
This Old Man Arrested On Ten Counts of Child Molestation
72 year old Gunther Schnell was arrested this afternoon for 10 counts of child sexual molestation after it was revealed he was performing “knick knack” on various parts of children’s bodies. “Currently we have ten victims”, said arresting officer John…
Miracle Whip Forsakes Forlorn Food Gobbler
Kraft, purveyor of many fine foods and some others a bit on the course side. To me, they’re the makers of Miracle Whip, and the miracles were nothing short of canonization-worthy. Yes, I’m talking about the now-discontinued dipping and sammy…
Serial Killer Ashamed He Used The N-Word
While cutting out individual letters from various newspapers and magazines, local serial killer Simon Thompson told Iron E-News that although he used the N-word while strangling an African American, the killing was not racially motivated. “I don’t know what came…
Child Labor Now Used in Every Sector, Even Accounting (Video Exclusive)
There was a time when children were free to play in the fields they tilled, learn skills in the factories that employed them, or even frolic on the sets of such films as Home Alone and The Sixth Sense. The…
Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating Crap Out of Him
Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating the Crap Out of Him (Family-Friendly Censored Version) Mr. Piggy Adam Richman, a titty overweight eater, who had his very own show on the Travel Channel mocked his “critics” by posting a comment,…
The Condemned No Longer Fear The Reaper
FLORENCE, Ariz. (GlossyNews) — A government think tank has come up with a novel idea to ensure there are no more botched executions like the one that occurred this week in Arizona. States have traveled a long and winding road…
How Old is Too Old for an iPhone?
Oberlin, OH — Annabel Smith, local 2 year old, coos as she goes through her mother’s iPhone, the screen illuminating her round face. The iPhone is well equipped with several apps specifically for babies, such as Dora’s Ballet Adventure, and…
New Pet Food Triggers Outrage; Breadsticks for Kim Jong-un?
Damascus, Iowa – A new line of products released by Pet Food Enterprises, Inc., that was intended to provide humor and admiration over the recent extinction of Olive Garden restaurants and the late breadsticks offered complimentary with the purchase of…