ISIS: The Autistic Brother of Al-Qaeda

ISIS: The Autistic Brother of Al-Qaeda

ISIS: The world’s number one autistic brainchild, the same one which refused to continue living with his older brother, Al-Qaeda, is now in some deep trouble with the United States and Russia.

After beheading a journalist in the lands of SandVillage, their only option for attention was death. Geez, talk about needy.

To make things worse, the group continued with a follow-up decapitation video personally sent to Prince Barack Obama of Nigeria. A representative of the White House spoke with the press regarding this issue stating: Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

The 13th Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony Begins With a Blast

The 13th Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony Begins With a Blast

Kicking it off this September comes an event the whole world has begged to be a part of. Unfortunately for them, only a selected number of Muslims were able to make it inside.

Since 2001, the Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony has been a part of the Al-Qaeda family who have their traditions such as: Executing anyone they come across with, annoyingly chanting their monkey song ‘Allahu Akbar’, and the classic accidental suicide bombing bloopers the entire unibrow family enjoys. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Malysian Air Shoots MH17 Down in Bold Strategy to Forget All About MH370

Malysian Air Shoots MH17 Down in Bold Strategy to Forget All About MH370

Just when you’ve seen enough out of the Malaysian people, this crazy stuff happens.

Malaysian Airline MH17 was shot down, forced to make a crash landing in the Ukraine, killing off passengers by the dozens. It’s a surprise no middle eastern extremists tried applying for a job, knowing they always have the tendency of crashing planes into stuff. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Megyn Kelly is Still a Massive Twat, But Mitt Romney Has a Huge Wang (Censored Version)

Megyn Kelly is Still a Massive Twat, But Mitt Romney Has a Huge Wang (Censored Version)

Megyn Kelly, anchor of some white guy’s network, is still being pursued by liberals and stuff, claiming that her blatant and sour opinions that put people to shame were morally wrong and shouldn’t be on a comedy network such as FOX news. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Television3 Comments

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating Crap Out of Him

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating Crap Out of Him

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating the Crap Out of Him (Family-Friendly Censored Version)

Mr. Piggy Adam Richman, a titty overweight eater, who had his very own show on the Travel Channel mocked his “critics” by posting a comment, “Grab a razor blade and draw a bath.”

He later went on to apologize and calm the tits out of everyone before he went to panic mode. The stunt surprised everyone, given the fact that Adam only eats when he’s mad. Putting a comment such as may as well saved his life from another heart attack. Poor fatty. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Television0 Comments

Brazilian Boy Steals Joke from Friend; Gets Publicly Hanged

Brazilian Boy Steals Joke from Friend; Gets Publicly Hanged

A young Brazilian boy, accused of stealing a simple joke from his classmate and friend, was found hanged in front of his home, a pile of human shit piled against one another.

The young boy’s mother was left crying her tears out, but none of it mattered, for the people were too busy stealing from one another and justifying them with “justice”. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, World News0 Comments

Univision Goes Bankrupt After Soap Operas are Banned in the U.S

Univision Goes Bankrupt After Soap Operas are Banned in the U.S

After Congress presented the U.S with a bill called “HIJO DE SU PUTA MADRE”, the corporation responsible for distributing the Hispanic culture’s entertainment programs on television, Univision, was declared bankrupt, leaving thousands in ruin and on the streets.

One man, Felipe Pancho Francisco Guadalupe Hidalgo de la Rosa, told us that “ever since the banning, my wife and kids have been spending their time outside of the kitchen and socializing with people. It’s horrible.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, Television0 Comments

Girls Stab Friend in Honor of Slenderman; Glad it Wasn’t in the Back

Girls Stab Friend in Honor of Slenderman; Glad it Wasn’t in the Back

Two girls were arrested by the Bureau of Academic and Constitutional Owners for Niggas force for allegedly stabbing a girl after trying to prove the existence of the Photoshopped myth “Slenderman”.

When questioned by the judge, the two girls responded by stating, “Hey, at least it wasn’t in the back.”

The judge was surprised by their testimonies and decided to let them go off with a warning, only if they promised to never do it again. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Catholic Church Commemorates Scientology for Beating Their Scam Record

Catholic Church Commemorates Scientology for Beating Their Scam Record

The bald-ass monkey pope from the Catholic Church in some schmancy European country commemorated the Church of Scientology this week for utterly destroying their record set since their foundation back when the bearded old man went up in the sky.

It is estimated that since the Church of Scientology is currently the popular religion, millions of little boys are at risk of getting their assholes pounded like a bunch of monkeys at the local zoo. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Religionism1 Comment

New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”

New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”

A new study done by the Political Association of Immigration Soldiers and American Students reveals the Mexican Cartel, the same people that love to molest its house rats (no, not their children), to be having mass intercourse with one another. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, World News0 Comments

Brazil’s Economy Skyrockets in Soccer Tournament; Millions of Wallets Stolen

Brazil’s Economy Skyrockets in Soccer Tournament; Millions of Wallets Stolen

The 2014 FIFA World Cup event will be a beneficial factor that will help Brazil with its not-so-good economy, at least that’s what Hispanic skinhead, Pitbull, had to say about it.

Hispanic, cancer man later went on to gibber on how mysteriously wallets were being stolen from foreigners. After questioned if this was the work of his 370 little, Hispanic children army, domestic violence father responded by nervously chuckling and securing the closet in which one child was hanging from a rope. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sports Events, World News0 Comments

Teens in School Tour Bus Crash Catch Fire; Parents Glad it Wasn’t Aids

Teens in School Tour Bus Crash Catch Fire; Parents Glad it Wasn’t Aids

Parents of teenagers that were severely Jewed alive in the school tour bus crash in Los Angeles are now relieved from the good news that was delivered to them this week.

The smarty-pant scientists confirmed this morning that the school bus indeed caught fire and it indeed “Jewed them up real good, crispy bacon to be exact.” Jack in the Box is now extracting meat from their remains. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Society3 Comments

Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain

Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain

Yeezus, master of all universes, creator of light and darkness which thrives upon us has blamed and punished the innocent Kanye West for criticizing him in a public ceremony after calling him a “no good, dirty piece of shit” and “a disgrace to hip-hop music, if hip-hop was considered music.”

Yeezuits attending the ceremony had to escort Kanye out of the church building and into his vehicle, a 2014 Kim Sluté. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment0 Comments

Douch-Dad Doesn’t Arrive to Daughter’s Ballet Recital; Vagina Syndrome Suspected

Douch-Dad Doesn’t Arrive to Daughter’s Ballet Recital; Vagina Syndrome Suspected

A stereotypical middle class Caucasian father, owner of three adorable children is still being a huge douchebag by not arriving to his little girl’s ballet recital which begins at 4 pm.

When asked on who was going to arrive to pick her up, the angel of cuteness replied, “I-dunno.” Frank, a Texan citizen who is allergic to cuteness, passed away when the headline made way to his town. All friends and family mourn for his loss and blame douchebag dad. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Arizona Scientists Prove Alien Existence; Body is Launched Back to Planet Mexico

Arizona Scientists Prove Alien Existence; Body is Launched Back to Planet Mexico

Scientists from the University of Arizona have concluded this Friday that the possible existence of extraterrestrial life could become a reality after certain test results are finalized.

The University was baffled when a 2,500 year old alien life form, Ernesto Torres, was found dead wrapped inside a white blanket lying next to an abandoned bicycle.

Police were also able to locate a note reading, “E.T VA A CASA”. The University is using its finest Native Americans to decipher its message. Continue Reading

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Posted in Science, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot

Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot

It was early spring of 2014 when the savior of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, was enjoying his three course meal in complete tranquility, an annual source of food considered by his people.

To everyone’s surprise, later that day, it was established that their royalty and highness had been diagnosed with severe breast cancer.

Military leaders proposed for him to consider launching a nuclear warning, something to frighten enemy countries, but not really do anything else because they were “so messed up economically and ideologically”. All military leaders that agreed with the statement were later executed for treason. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News1 Comment

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