Category: Society
Blind Lesbians Cause Riot at Local Market
ANANAPOLIS, Maryland (GlossyNews) — What started out as a simple educational outing for a group of sight impaired lesbians from the local Helen Keller Institute for the Blind, ended up with almost all of the women being herded into paddy wagons…
Times Square Bomber Gets Plea Deal – Turned in 6 Smokers
NEW YORK, New York (GlossyNews) — Department of Homeland Security officials admitted today at an early morning press conference that Faisal Shahzad, 30, the alleged “Times Square Bomber,” was released on bond at the behest of New York City leaders…
Pelosi Vows to Shorten Abortion Waiting Period to a Year
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois (GlossyNews) — With the advent of National Socialized Medicine, Democratic supporters squeaked in a provision that allows free abortions upon demand for any women who desires one. Cited as free choice and a right of all women, the…
Gun & Beer Sales Up, Foreclosures Down in Michigan
MIDDLE AMERICA, USA (GlossyNews) — Folks facing financial ruin in Michigan have finally come up with a solution to losing their homes to banks through the foreclosure process. They are taking their unemployment checks and purchasing rifles to fend off…
Cuba Sees Future in Tourism
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Beleaguered, nearly forgotten Cuba has announced another wave of economic reforms. Under the new guidelines, citizens can operate small businesses, hire employees, and rent property for American currency. Analysts attribute…
Michele Bachman, Unaware of Y2k, Attacks Bill Clinton
CROOKSTON, Minnesota (GlossyNews) — The Republican Party, frequently criticized for being behind the times and completely devoid of new ideas, has taken yet another strategy from Newt Gingrich’s 1994 GOP Playbook. Michele Bachmann, one of the most prominent she-publican fundraisers,…
UK Govt Report: 9 Out of 10 Males Are Gay, or Plan to Be
BIRMINGHAM, United Kingdom (GlossyNews) — By all accounts Treavor Slaughter should be an a ladies man with girls rushing up to him every moment as he enters his first year in the university….But things are different today in the UK….
9-yr-old Klepto Arrested Again; Mom Blames Nintendo Wii
DES MOINES, Iowa – In a rather strange and disturbing case, a nine-year old boy was arrested on June 28, 2010 for stealing cigarettes from a local Wal-Mart. Although the boy is only nine years of age, he has had…
Recently Discovered Noah’s Ark Artifacts Destroyed in Quran Bonfire Mishap
MOUNT ARARAT, Turkey (GlossyNews) — In the close-knit evangelical archeological community, few can recall more dizzying heights and tragic lows in such a short time span. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) first grabbed…
How to be a FOX News ‘Spin Doctor’
SINGAPORE (GlossyNews) — Media experts have been observing a recent trend in how seemingly simple events are portrayed by our news sources. Radical interpretations of ordinary incidents in the lives of the famous seem to be going through major distortions….