Cuba Sees Future in Tourism

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

Beleaguered, nearly forgotten Cuba has announced another wave of economic reforms. Under the new guidelines, citizens can operate small businesses, hire employees, and rent property for American currency. Analysts attribute the moves to Raul Castro’s leading the island nation away from Marxism in response to rapidly changing market forces.

No kidding, that is how print journalists really talk? It’s nothing but a bunch of meaningless self-important sounding drivel!

I know Hermana, but it’s true! I was at the nail salon and I thumbed through that Newsweek, and it was full of stuff like that.

Well maybe if print journalists would talk like normal people, Newsweek wouldn’t have to respond to ‘rapidly changing market forces’ themselves. OK, so I, Maria Lopez will tell you what’s going on with Cuba. They want to become the new super cool Spring break destination.

Some of you may not know, but Spring break destinations are a real status symbol to wealthy gringos. The really rich kids go to places like Jamaica, Hawaii, and Greece. They come home with who knows what STD’s and brag about Spring break for the entire semester. So Cuba wants in on the action; it’s a bunch of money.

And there are many reasons why it works well for both Cuba and the rich gringo kids. For Cuba, it’s not just the dollars. They want the United States to look bad to Cuban citizens right? The Spring break crowd should serve that goal well. Cuba already had a visit from Michael Moore and I bet little Havana children are still having nightmares about it.

But also, it fits for the College students too. First, Cuba is about the only place on Earth they can wear their Che Guevara tee shirts without looking like total dorks. And Cuba would seem a very exotic place to the gringos, because of that whole embargo thing.

Yeah, I don’t get the embargo. The United States doesn’t trade with Castro because he’s Communist, but trades with China who is Communist. Why don’t the gringos embargo China too?

Duh, Consuela! It’s because Florida isn’t full of angry Chinese voters.

Author: Liberties-Taken

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.

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