Posted in Top Stories World News

US To Send Bullshit Detector To Malaysia

In the latest effort to uncover the fate of MH370, the United States has announced it will send a state of the art Bullshit Detector to Malaysia. “The BSD will be located adjacent to the Perdana Putra building, which houses…

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial Society

Choosing the Right Store Brand Ointment is Tough, For Life is Fleeting

By Guest Writer Bill Edgecomb What is this life but a single blink of the eye of an ever-expanding universe? Why do we itch? Is existence itching, the cause of which is the desire for ointment? Are we to just…

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Posted in Making Headlines

Guilt-Stricken Woman Slips Husband Antidote

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Posted in Strange People

Woman Seeks “Unconscious Uncoupling” from Comatose Husband

HOLLYWOOD, CA—In May of 2010, Jerry Gilbertson of the L.A. Area suffered a severe balloon animal accident that ruptured a cerebral artery and put him in a coma. Nearly four years later, Jerry’s wife Deborah has become fed up and…

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Posted in Entertainment Talky Pictures

Original Cast of Jaws Reunites for Breadsterastyx, Adds Eddie Murphy

Hollywood, California – In an exciting turn of events on Thursday, DreamWorks Studios announced that it has finished filming a new movie in honor of the fallen Olive Garden restaurant chain and the prehistoric dinosaur that started it all, Breadsterastyx….

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Posted in World News

Danish Zoo Defends Killing Of Employees

A Danish zoo on Wednesday defended its decision to kill four employees citing age factors, the risk of inbreeding and the arrival of a new, younger male hire. This week’s executions have put the Copenhagen Zoo on the defensive again,…

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Posted in Crime Travel

Carnival Corporation Posts Onboard Cruise Crime Data

In a voluntary effort to be more accountable to the public, Carnival Cruise Lines has released data about 576,727 alleged crimes reported on board their ships during the previous year. Included in the release were 18967 incidents of public drunkenness,…

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Posted in Travel World News

France Finds Missing Flight 370

After waiting more than ten days to jump into the search for Flight 370, France declared it has found the ill fated airliner off the coast of Italy. “We were delayed due to union repairs on our sole high imaging…

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Posted in Biz News Sports

Redskins Owner Dan Snyder To Open Chain of Reservation Liquor Stores

Responding to claims of racial insensitivity over the team name, NFL Redskins owner Dan Snyder embarked on a month long voyage of discovery to dozens of Native American Reservations. In a widely distributed press release issued on Monday, Snyder said…

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