Posted in Kidz Zone Politics

Crayola Announces New “John Boehner Orange” Crayon Color

Pumpkin Place, Ohio (GlossyNews) —The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. The iconic Crayola crayon company announced it will introduce a new crayon color, “John Boehner Orange,” based on what it calls the “distinctive, even unique, hues and shades”…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Society

Woman Sues Gigolo for Nonperformance

Vail, Col – GlossyNews.com – Bernice J. Sommerstein has sued ski instructor and self-proclaimed gigolo, Brad Chadley, for failing to perform according to an oral agreement entered into following Sommerstein’s ski lesson on February 3, asking $250 in monetary damages…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in World News

London Rioters Disrupt Tea at the Ritz

Attendees at London’s plush Ritz Tearooms anticipating a quiet sojourn from the hustle and bustle of the city in order to discuss the cricket and deerstalking in the Highlands of Scotland almost choked on their crumpets as the Ritz was…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest

Losers Claim Win-Win Just a Ploy

Losers around the world are waking up today to the sad realization that regardless of what they’ve been told in school and the workplace, the win-win scenario just doesn’t exist. “It’s a ploy,” said Winton Gardensalad from Montauk, NY. “I…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in World News

UK Austerity Hits Royal Wedding Plans in the Face

Great Britain was left devastated today by the news that the government’s planned public spending review would be extended to include the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton next month. Until now the British public had born the news…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Elizabeth Taylor: “Heaven Too Awkward”, After Running Into 5 Ex-Husbands

Modern day journalistic prophets have announced Elizabeth Taylor was in heaven for no more than five minutes before the first complaints rolled in this morning. Taylor, famous for her feisty temper, charitable nature and a career spanning five decades with…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Top Stories War Zone

Subsidi-Farm Ramps up Medical Marijuana Production to Fund Libyan War

Cultivation of the US Government’s own strain of cannabis known as mellow-yellow by a government-sanctioned agricultural group known as Subsidi-Farm is being ramped up in order to help raise money for the latest war in Libya. The coffers are running…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in News In Your Briefs

French Push For No-fly Zone; Are First To Airstrike Gaddhafi

Aren’t these the same French who everyone has been saying are military cowards? Aren’t they the same ones who went into Rwanda and put an end to the genocide there?

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Sports The Rest

The Official Guide To Almost Injury-Free Snowboarding

Despite the fact that you hate the cold, hate putting on piles of clothing and hate rocketing yourself off a mountain at the speed of sound because it could possibly kill you, you still have to look cool for your…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!