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Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help

Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help

Kim Jong-Un is reportedly flipping his shit since the wide release of “The Interview”, which even his most dastardly designs did nothing to diminish.

We’re about halfway done filming ours, and I must say, it… looks… amazing. “The Interview” was pure Hollywood, but ours aims to really take the piss out of him and his absurd hermit kingdom.

Here is a pre-pre-trailer to show you what we’ve got so far, but if you scroll down far enough and read things close enough, you’ll get to see an actual clip from the movie to show you what we’re doing. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Video News6 Comments

Better parenting through polling

Better parenting through polling

When it comes to parenting, I don’t always make the best decisions. I’m not always sure what the right thing to do is in a difficult situation.

Like the time our elder daughter begged and pleaded with me to let her drive the car to the mall. It was a sunny day. Traffic was light. And she had behaved extremely well all week long. So against my better judgment, I said okay. Two minutes later, she smashed the car into a stop sign barely 100 yards from our driveway. A part of me can’t help but wonder whether in retrospect I made a mistake giving in to the incessant pleadings of an eight-year-old to drive my minivan.

Sometimes my wife questions my ability to make the right call. Heck, she rarely listens to any of my opinions unless at least four complete strangers tell her the exact same thing – which got me to thinking: maybe the way for me to make better parenting decisions is to poll the opinions of total strangers.

In the most recent presidential election, the polls were incredibly accurate forecasters of people’s voting preferences. Nate Silver’s 538 blog accurately predicted the Electoral College winner in all fifty states. Politicians use polls all the time to help them decide how to vote. Should we legalize gay marriage? Poll your constituents. Should we cut defense spending? Do a poll. Should we ban hurricanes during the last week of a presidential campaign? (97% of Republicans resoundingly voted yes.)

I figure, maybe I can learn a thing or two from those politicians. That’s why I’ve decided to stop listening to my inner voice when confronted by a difficult parenting issue. Now I make all my important parenting decisions by means of polling. I have benefitted from the collective wisdom of a much broader community in many matters:

Poll Question #1: What punishment is appropriate for our elder daughter, who missed curfew for the third time in two weeks, giving the lame excuse that she missed the last bus from the library and had to walk the six miles home? According to my poll of 328 Boston Red Sox season ticket holders:

• 59% said that I should give her some slack since, after all, she was studying at the library.
• 24% said I should talk with her and ask her what she thinks the consequences should be.
• 9% said she’s had plenty of warnings and I should ground her until spring training.
• 8% said I should put in a pinch hitter and attempt a bunt to move the runner on second over to third.

parenting by polling - childrenPoll Question #2: The last time our younger daughter cleaned up her room, Michele Bachmann was leading in the Republican race for president. Her room now looks like a home in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. What should I do? I polled 147 Guatemalan goat herders and here’s how they weighed in on the matter:

• 37% said that unless it presents a safety issue, I should just let it go. Pick my battles.
• 29% said a sloppy room is a sign of disrespect for the head of the household. She should be punished by having to sleep outside with the goats in their pen for 20 nights.
• 34% said “What is a Michele Bachmann?”
• 100% said, “Your daughter has her own room?”

Poll Question #3: Our two teenage daughters squabble all the time. Lately their arguments have escalated into nasty name-calling with curse words and profanity. What should I do about this the next time they start after each other? I polled 275 Amish families in Lancaster, PA, and here is how they responded:

• 39% said that this is typical teenage behavior and I should not intervene. Let them sort it out.
• 28% said take away all their consumer electronic devices for a week. The Amish have lived without cell phones for years; the girls can survive without theirs for a week.
• 18% said that the girls’ use of curse words is an affront to God. Teach them a lesson in cooperation by making them build a barn together – no power tools allowed.
• 15% said when they’re done building the barn, they can start working on the grain silo. It’s in serious need of repairs. And while they’re at it, it wouldn’t kill them to repaint the school.

But after they voted, they discussed the issue further. And to my surprise, they all changed their minds – and unanimously voted for shunning.

parenting by polling - Bolivian womenUsing this polling system has dramatically reduced my stress level. I can’t actually say it’s helped me arrive at any better parenting decisions, but at least now I can point the blame somewhere else. Next time my wife gets on my case about a bad parenting decision and screeches, “Who in the world thought it was a good idea to let our daughter have a pet llama?” My response is simple: “A focus group of Peruvian llama ranchers, honey.”

In a few cases, however, the feedback has been perplexing. I polled a group of Tea Party activists about how to discuss the dangers of drinking and driving with my college-age daughter. 87% of respondents said the critical thing I need to do is to lower taxes, repeal Obamacare, and get the federal government out of my life. I’m not really sure what this has to do with the dangers of drinking and driving. Maybe if I dress up as George Washington it will make more sense to me.

My wife is not on board yet with my new parenting approach. She is old-fashioned. Amusingly, she still thinks the best approach is to stay calm, be clear in our expectations and apply logical consequences for our children’s poor choices. Sounds like way too much work, if you ask me.

Frankly, I’m not so sure my wife’s outdated parenting methodology works any better than my new system. So I polled 195 soccer dads about which approach they feel is more effective, mine or hers. They were divided on the question. But there was an overwhelming consensus on a related issue: They all agreed the coach does not give their kid nearly enough playing time.

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Opinon/Editorial, Top Stories0 Comments

What Happens When a Satirist Feels Uncomfortable at the Satire of Others?

What Happens When a Satirist Feels Uncomfortable at the Satire of Others?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I can’t seem do the links correctly for these (in bold) Tried using wordpress function, but trial run was unsatisfactory. Please do them for me?

EDITOR’S NOTE: No problem. Now I just have to figure out how to delete these damn notes to each other here up top.

At the risk of egregious flattery to my colleagues, my favorite satire outlet I write for is Glossynews. And I once wrote the following piece, which actually means a lot to me. [a href=”http://glossynews.com/entertainment/television/201410120242/autistic-savants-inspiring-says-cable-tv-diversity-pimp/”>It is THIS one.

This piece is a little “close to home.” I later read it at the Creative Writing Society at King’s College London, during Disability History Month. I believe there were signs of amusement; this was the very first “fake news” satire piece I had read at the Society.

Shortly after, however, I found out that someone (JihadTimes) had written also written a piece on Glossynews called:

ISIS the Autistic Brother of Al Qaeda

Upon reading this piece, I felt vaguely uncomfortable; although I certainly didn’t “throw my rattle out of the pram” (!) The humor appeared obscure and impenetrable to me, and I was already aware (of course) of some existing odd or unusual usages of the word “autism” in a broader context in the English-speaking world.

By the way, as an entirely un/necessary savant digression, I have heard elsewhere of an “autistic economy,” and at least one curious reference to “autistic” as an adjective in “An Austrian Perspective on the History of Economic Thought,” by the brilliant but erratic Murray N. Rothbard.

Actually, given the peculiar cottage-industry of speculative, amateur diagnoses of Asperger’s, I am almost tempted… ;)

… Well, if anyone is entitled to do that, I am! And it’s plausible enough, after all… you know what they say about those influenced to some extent by right-libertarian thought

(Don’t ask me to explain what a bleeding-heart-post-humanist-libertarian™ is, or I’ll be here all day, as I’m a un/fairly garrulous person)…

Still, on a more serious, or at least po-faced note, I did find the article disturbing.

But later, I reflected on my reception of the article. Isn’t satire supposed to be ambivalent? Is satire normally “right” or “wrong,” or is it more amoral than (im/)moral?

Actually, I do believe that it is very rare indeed for satire to be “wrong,” regardless of the ethical criteria. As regards immorality, one could perhaps speak about Nazi or Wahhabi caricatures of Jewish people, or the portrayal of “class enemies” in some periods of Communist history.

But there is partly a question of definition here; are such distortions “satire” or something else? Either way, in the UK (where I live), or the USA (where two articles mentioned above were published), one could hardly compare the function of internet satire, generally speaking, to the more brutal examples of “humor” just cited.

Yet, ultimately, I consider the piece on ISIS a compliment. The fact is that the author of the piece in question did not patronize me; they did not “spare the feelings” of any individuals at Glossynews who might or might not have Asperger’s Syndrome or autism.

Whether or not the person in question knew or not (whoever they are), I am deeply moved that they felt at liberty to take the risk they took. I would far rather they were prepared to take that risk, than walk on eggshells around me.

To speak more poignantly:

I once knew someone who was (I believe) utterly incapable of humoring me. That person has had a tremendous impact on my life, and enriched it immeasurably. And although it was not to be, and I have been in mourning for a long time, for what I and we have lost, I will never forget the beauty and the joy of sitting face to face with someone who could never ever speak to me otherwise than directly. As someone with Asperger’s, I have never known such a thing again, and probably never will.

For some of us with Asperger’s, we get used to people being polite, perhaps because (at least earlier in our lives, when our symptoms may be more pronounced), others may not know how to respond.

But the person of whom I speak was different. This person was not merely unwilling to humor me; I am tempted to say that it would not even cross their mind, although that is a dangerous speculation. And I will never forget, and I will never regret.

The reason I make this point is that on a very different level, it was great to see someone write an article that could be considered “offensive” to autistic people. It was a great thing, precisely because, in a funny kind of way, I was being treated as an equal, and not as someone of less worth.

For, to be treated “specially,” to be some kind of “holy fool” up on his or her cloud, pristine and heavenly, and to be liberated (and hence) deprived of all humor, mockery or satire; whether monological sneering or dialogical banter; this would be hell on earth.

For, I cannot afford to be oblivious to how if I lose the one-way humor, I may also lose the two-way humor.

And, of course, the one-way/two-way distinction itself is problematic. For, even though I found myself unable to laugh at the article I have spoken of, I would say that I also participated in the humour, insofar as, even without laughing, I gave it my blessing.

Not that the satirist in question required my blessing; rather as the truth needs no defence, neither does humour or satire. No one needs an endorsement from me in order to satirize autism, Asperger’s or disability.

Still, I will draw a (somewhat loose) analogy. In many countries, women are free to marry whoever they wish, and yet in a church or perhaps other religious wedding, there will still be something like a “giving away” of the bride.

Nowadays, such a custom is not intended to imply that the woman is the property of her father, brother or whoever; but it represents a kind of good will and blessing that, although not strictly required for a free individual, is something that is healing to give. It is not to be bestowed (via “conspicuous benevolence,” as I call it); but to give as a free gift, in love; unasked and unflaunted.

And the same applies to the covenant between the many individual satirists in our world.

But of course, I’m not implying the existence of a monolithic “satirist community;” please don’t be giving assimilationist political parties any ideas! ;)

Anyway, I just added a (not so) new core principle to my semi(non-)ironic “Confession of Faith on my academic blog :

“The day you can no longer laugh at yourself; that is the day you know they have finally won.
This is the thread on which all my laws and prophecies hang.”

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Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (VIDEOs)

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (VIDEOs)

There are those who quake in their boots at the thought of upsetting sweaty North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. We are not among them.

Thumbing our noses is the least of what we’re doing. Unlike “The Interview” ours will be a non-stop biting satire. We’re not focused primarily on the American’s involvement, but almost exclusively on those within North Korea.

It’s a hermit Kingdom and it’s a fascinating place. Very little news gets out but our team of writers has been hammering on this to craft a clever script. We’ve amassed a hell of a crew and we’re planning to start shooting actual screen footage in the next ten days. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Video News5 Comments

How Coke’s New “FairLife” Super Milk is Made (VIDEO)

How Coke’s New “FairLife” Super Milk is Made (VIDEO)

Milk sales have fallen in recent years, so Coca-Cola has decided to get into the Moo Juice game. We go inside the factory to show you how they improved on perfection.

More calcium and protein with less sugar and lactose free sound too good to be true? At merely twice the price, it’s a reality.

We got to tour the Fair Oaks Farms in Fair Oaks, Indiana to meet the cows and cow-pokes (not as sexy as it sounds) to find out what really makes this premium priced beverage so unique. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Video News0 Comments

Sorry MEN, You Are ALL Sexists (This Time I’m Serious)

Sorry MEN, You Are ALL Sexists (This Time I’m Serious)

The moment I tell you “You’re ALL sexists,” some poor Jeremy is gonna wail out:

“But we’re not AAALLL like thaaat!!!”

But that’s precisely the point.

There’s something very significant about the fact that this is precisely the typical response to the (actually defensible) idea that the problem is “men…” Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial1 Comment

Sarah Palin’s On-Air Stroke Fact Checked (PART TWO) – VIDEO

Sarah Palin’s On-Air Stroke Fact Checked (PART TWO) – VIDEO

Sarah Palin may still be a cash-worthy draw for the red meat crowd anxious for nothing more than talking points. Well, in her case, barking points.

I’m not saying she’s barking because she’s a bitch. No, that would be a disrespect to female dogs everywhere, and as I have two in my own home, I’d never insult them by conflating them with such a waste of carbon as Sarah Palin. Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, Video News0 Comments

Banned Fiat Super Bowl Commercial Raised Eyebrows, Hackles

Banned Fiat Super Bowl Commercial Raised Eyebrows, Hackles

‘Tis the season when marketers go the extra mile and even passive fans stick to their TVs, even if just to watch the commercials.

Fiat ran a clever commercial this year, but it was nothing close to the one they originally wanted to show.

Italians, man. I can’t speak directly to their cars, marketing or choice in leading ladies, but I can say this was a pretty clever ad in its original form. Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, Video News0 Comments

Life…

Life…

Life- An annoying thing that happens when you wake up in the morning.

Life- The commitment you don’t remember having agreed to.

Life- 16 hours you have to live through before you can go back to bed again.

Life- A pain in the ass that doesn’t limit itself to just that area.

Life- A journey on a sea of unknown depths.

Life- Two third of a day that it takes one third of a night to recover from.

Life- A scream just waiting to happen.

Life- God’s way of getting even with us.

Life- The thing they don’t teach us about in school. Or warn us about.

Life- A bad dream that doesn’t stop when you wake up.

Life- That solid sock in the gut that lets you know you are alive.

Life- A swim in an ocean of limited visibility.

Life- A running race that apparently has no rules or borders but a very definite finish line.

Life- A screaming headache that begins when you wake up and doesn’t shut up until you finally fall asleep.

Life- A waking nightmare until sleep comes to claim you again.

Life- Like being born again every morning only messier.

Life- Like the movie Groundhog Day only you don’t need 3-D glasses to make it more realistic.

Life- Who says Hell comes AFTER you die?

Life- The one thing even the best drugs or booze can’t blot out.

Life- Like those dreams where you fall off a cliff and don’t hit bottom except you do.

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Posted in Society, The Rest0 Comments

A Prophet Versus Islamists? What Would Muhammad Say? (2/2)

A Prophet Versus Islamists? What Would Muhammad Say? (2/2)

Previously, as a non-Muslim, I raised the question of the distinction between a living letter and prophet, and a dead letter and prophet.

And I’m not so much attempting to intrude from the outside of Islam, to set a “program” or “plan” for the religion…

But I am raising some questions that are fairly broad in scope, and no doubt apply to other religions too. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

A Prophet Versus Islamists? What Would Muhammad Say? (1/2)

A Prophet Versus Islamists? What Would Muhammad Say? (1/2)

Disclaimer: This is less “humorous” than my usual work (apart from some cheeky memes!), but is not intended as “po-faced” or “solemn.”

I’m not suggesting a program or plan for Muslims or non-Muslims, satirists or non-satirists.

I’m mainly trying to clarify my own thoughts to myself, posing some very current questions; hoping some individuals, (whoever you may be), may find these ideas intriguing, and worth reflecting upon. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

UK: No, Not All Anti-Fascists Are Equal

UK: No, Not All Anti-Fascists Are Equal

Unparliamentary Fanaticism

The tragic fact is that in the United Kingdom, as in many other countries, there is a fascist presence.

However, fascist parties are fringe organizations; not least in terms of their electoral power.

Yes… over here, it is not merely “bad dinner party conversation” for goose-stepping eagle-polishers to talk about their BNP or National Front membership…

Rather, it is likely to lose them their entire reputation (such as it may be). Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

Like Martin Luther King, I have a dream

Like Martin Luther King, I have a dream

On January 19th, this nation will celebrate Martin Luther King Day. The iconic civil rights leader would have been 86 this year. On a swelteringly hot day in August 1963, Reverend King delivered one of the greatest oratories in American history – his famously inspiring “I have a dream” speech, which he delivered from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

While I don’t claim to possess Mr. King’s eloquence, I too have a dream. And it’s very personal. With your permission, I would like to share it with you today. Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Society0 Comments

Kimmy’s Hate Train Still Boarding Passengers

Kimmy’s Hate Train Still Boarding Passengers

North Korean dictator and renowned chunky monkey Kim Jong Un continues on his world famous crazy train picking up more passengers at every stop.

We’re making a North Korea satire film. Click here to help our fundraising!

Not content with detonating possibly real nuclear devices and bombing the hell out of random waters in the Sea of Japan, Kimmy has expanded his narrow horizons. Continue Reading

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Posted in Video News, World News0 Comments

GlossyNews Publishes Hilarious Caricature of Muhammad

GlossyNews Publishes Hilarious Caricature of Muhammad

Uh….nevermind!! But stay tuned for more Kim Jong-Un parodies!

You can contribute to our North Korea video satire series here or learn more about it here.

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Posted in Making Headlines, Top Stories11 Comments

The Delicious Truth About How Chicken Nuggets Are REALLY Made [Video]

The Delicious Truth About How Chicken Nuggets Are REALLY Made [Video]

You’ve seen images of pink slime, but you have no idea what really goes on or goes in.

The truth with set you free, specifically free to save money while gobbling down amazing and delicious chicky nuggies. Read on.

More Videos in this Series
How Hot Dogs are REALLY Made (shocking!)
How Twinkies are REALLY Made (you won’t believe it!) Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Video News0 Comments

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