Attendees at London’s plush Ritz Tearooms anticipating a quiet sojourn from the hustle and bustle of the city in order to discuss the cricket and deerstalking in the Highlands of Scotland almost choked on their crumpets as the Ritz was attacked by a group of rabid anarchists hell-bent on destruction.
The black clad marauders – their faces obscured by ski masks – smashed windows with metal poles and traffic signs. Anarchist symbols were spray painted all over the exterior as police struggled to control the mayhem.
The anarchists, who call themselves “The Really Angry Ananarchists” splintered away from a mass demonstration against government spending cuts and decided to target the rich.
Among them, Sir Arthur Barrington-Slyme, who in his haste to take cover underneath a table, knocked his good lady wife, Lady Gwendolyn Barrington-Slyme slap bang on her arse on the floor.
“I thought it was gunfire old chap,” Sir Arthur remarked. “Thought for a moment I was back in the South Atlantic fighting the Argie-Wallahs. Bunch of ruddy oik anarchists disturbing our tea and crumpets. They should be horsewhipped, hung drawn and quartered and then burned at the stake.”
Lady Barrington-Slyme merely intoned:
“By the cringe. My coccyx is throbbing like billyo!”
More UK mockery as we get it.