London Rioters Disrupt Tea at the Ritz

Attendees at London’s plush Ritz Tearooms anticipating a quiet sojourn from the hustle and bustle of the city in order to discuss the cricket and deerstalking in the Highlands of Scotland almost choked on their crumpets as the Ritz was attacked by a group of rabid anarchists hell-bent on destruction.

The black clad marauders – their faces obscured by ski masks – smashed windows with metal poles and traffic signs. Anarchist symbols were spray painted all over the exterior as police struggled to control the mayhem.

The anarchists, who call themselves “The Really Angry Ananarchists” splintered away from a mass demonstration against government spending cuts and decided to target the rich.

Among them, Sir Arthur Barrington-Slyme, who in his haste to take cover underneath a table, knocked his good lady wife, Lady Gwendolyn Barrington-Slyme slap bang on her arse on the floor.

“I thought it was gunfire old chap,” Sir Arthur remarked. “Thought for a moment I was back in the South Atlantic fighting the Argie-Wallahs. Bunch of ruddy oik anarchists disturbing our tea and crumpets. They should be horsewhipped, hung drawn and quartered and then burned at the stake.”

Lady Barrington-Slyme merely intoned:

“By the cringe. My coccyx is throbbing like billyo!”

More UK mockery as we get it.

Author: Skoob1999

No time for this! The bus is coming! Skoob - English, terminally bewildered, from Manchester, but without the Oasis style monobrow. And a United fan. Currently unemployed due to idleness.

5 thoughts on “London Rioters Disrupt Tea at the Ritz

  1. I use that same picture of Coulter enlarged when I go to visit my neices and nephews. I hang it on their ceiling above their bed so that they wet their pajamas and cry all night.

  2. For those of you unaware of what my good friend rfreed is speaking of, there is kind of a high frequency of ads for Ann Coulter that appear on this site. And the question you may share with Mr. Freed is clearly “And what is this f&(%$*+ing, God forsaken Ann Coulter ad doing here?”

    And the answer is that she pays well. She’ll do anything to get her face in front of as many fans and skeptics as she can, even if it means spending outrageous amounts of money.

    And I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

  3. OH MY GOD!!!!

    ITS THE SECOND BRITISH INVASION!!!!

    EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!!!!

    FIRST THE BEATLES AND THE STONES AND NOW THIS!!!!

    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

    Nah, welcome Skoob.
    Make yourself at home.
    Nice to see you here.
    Feel free to slap around anyone you like.

    And Brian- See how effective all capital letters can be for expressing emotion?

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