Month: March 2011
Labor Unrest Hits Candy Tycoon in the Sweet Spot
Shares of Wonka Foods International, the silent parent company of both Hershey and Nestle, opened sharply lower today as disturbing news reached Wall Street. It appears anti-collective bargaining legislation recently introduced in Wisconsin has spawned a backlash that now threatens…
Dung Becomes Newest Clean Energy
Fibrominn, LLC in Benson, Minnesota has the distinction of being the first U.S. power plant fired by turkey droppings in an effort wean the U.S. from fossil fuel to fecal fuel. And the turkeys couldn’t be happier. The plant burns…
Putin Declares That West Is Making A Crusade In Libya
And this is coming from the man who crusaded Russia right back to the Czarist times.
America Once Said We’d Teach The Arabs About Democracy
….now it looks as though the ones in North Africa could teach us a lot about it.
Student Exposes WW2 Vet as Faker
What began as a school project has brought scandal to a formerly beloved citizen of this quiet Ohio town. Mayfield High School students in Ms. Lander’s AP History class were assigned to interview local war veterans. Young Hillary Pierce chose…
Michaele Salahi Snorts Smack n’ Crack to Get Back on Celebrity Rehab
Michaele Salahi was recently kicked off the reality show Celebrity Rehab due to the fact that she couldn’t produce a discernable addiction. Now, her husband Tareq has threatened to sue if they don’t take her back. The Salahis claim that…
AT&T / T-Mobile Merger Already Faces Grassroots Opposition
With the recent announcement that despised telecom giant AT&T would be purchasing T-Mobile for $39 billion came the launch of a grassroots opposition movement dead-set against the transaction. If you have an opinion about the merger, this may be of…
Painting of Big Mac Found in Neanderthal Cave
Saint Sozy, France – GlossyNews.com French paleontologists have discovered a Neanderthal cave painting said to represent hands eagerly reaching for a Big Mac, or at least proto-Big Mac, according to the journal, Ancient Discoveries. According to Jean-Claude Bouisquet, curator of…
Gynecologist Can’t Believe His Luck with The Ladies
Local doctor Rory Allen, who recently completed his residency and entered private practice as a gynecologist, declared today that he can’t get over his recent good run with the opposite sex. Bespectacled Allen, 27, who admits that he’d always been…
Al Qaeda Confirms Bin Laden Dead; Organizational Changes
CAIRO — Al Qaeda issued this statement to Internet militant websites: “We regret to announce that our Premier Leader, Usama bin Laden was killed Monday in plain sight at his home in the city of Abbottabad, Pakistan.