Month: August 2010
FOX News Has a Tough Time Telling the Black Chess Pieces Apart as Well
A big stink arose this past week when Greta van Susteren, intellectual extraordinaire of FOX News (indeed perhaps the only one. How did she get in there?) mistook Shirley Sherrod, the black Georgia State Director Of Rural Development, with California…
Chief Standing Wolf Takes on Rush Limbaugh After ‘Injuns’ Comment
FORT APACHE, Arizona (Glossy News) — Watch out Rush Limbaugh. Chief Standing Wolf, who earlier this year made certain promises to rid Arizona of non-Native Americans if they didn’t repeal their white man laws allowing only English-speaking people in their…
Non-Racist Tea Party Holds Rally on Mexico-Arizona Border
NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more…
Pentagon Buys J.D. Salinger’s Toilet for $1 Million
HOBOKEN, New Jersey (GlossyNews) — The Pentagon today announced that in keeping with the President’s unofficial request to keep spending to a minimum, it would henceforth be purchasing many items used from the popular auction site, eBay at considerably less…
New Leak Linked to BP
ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) — In his harshest stance yet, President Barack Obama has demanded flailing petroleum giant BP establish yet another $20B set-aside to address more leak damage. At issue is the recent Wiki-leaks release of 91,000 classified documents,…
Al Gore Opens Chain of Upscale Reiki Salons
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Ever since Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2007, he’s been looking for a good investment and now he thinks he’s found it. He’s opening a chain of Reiki salons in Washington, DC. Among…
Mexico and US Pillowtalk
Why the USA will probably never legalize drugs. (Drug Consumer played by USA; Drug Lord played by Mexico) USA: I want to stop! Go Away! MEXICO: No you don’t! You love it! Let me in! USA: OK, but just for…
Facebook Addiction Survivors Found Adrift in Cyberspace
RESTSTOP, Info Superhighway (GlossyNews) — A group of Facebook addiction survivors was found floating in cyberspace last night, clinging to the remnants of a past life spent ogling other people’s lives from the comfort of their home or office. The…
Man Stumped Over Penis Mishap
FALLS TOWNSHIP, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — Court documents released today revealed startling accusations from a Philadelphia area stock broker’s lawsuit against a nationally known erectile dysfunction clinic for their alleged amputation of both the plaintiff’s legs in a botched attempt to…
Forget Doomsday Prophecies; Beer Prices are Skyrocketing
SOMEWHERE, USA (GlossyNews) — Another Friday the 13th came and went without incident. It’s as if the Universe doesn’t take itself seriously anymore. Mars can run retrograde and Saturn can be humping Venus (relatively speaking of course) and still life…