Month: August 2010
Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Note on UN Desk
Washington, DC (GlossyNews): In its toughest rhetoric yet, the Obama Administration lashed out at Iran’s ongoing nuclear enrichment program. Iran maintains the program is only intended to develop a domestic nuclear fuel source for civilian electrical power generation, an explanation…
Giganti-Baby May Be Sumo Prodigy by Age Three
Lei Lei, named phonetically after the famous Lay’s potato chips, was a large baby when born, but not extraordinarily large according to his petite Chinese mother. However, ever since his birth, he’s been eating anything and everything in sight, and…
Jon Stewart Pays to Make ‘Man Whore’ Rumors Go Away
NEW YORK (GlossyNews) — Jon Stewart is allegedly being blackmailed by one of The Daily Show’s employees over allegations that in the 90’s, Stewart was a man whore. The information about this closely guarded secret came to light when the…
‘Hokey-Pokey’ Songwriter Laid to Rest in Simple Ceremony
CLINTON, Missouri (GlossyNews) — With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person who gave the world fun and togetherness for over 50…
Habitual Self-Pleasurer Admits What He Likes About Playboy’s Kendra
Nothing.
Newsweek Purchased by Finnish Tourism Dept for $1
Finland, that land of perpetual daytime, when it isn’t night 24 hours a day — known for snow, reindeer, hot tubs, saunas and, I guess, other things, was in the news this last week. In a story that barely made…
Anti-Islamic Hackers Alter GPS Script to Divert Mecca-Bound Prayers
JAKARTA Indonesia (GlossyNews) — At the insistence of Muslim holy leaders in the Saudi Arabian city of Mecca, an incredibly accurate new GPS tracking system will be installed to thwart anti-Islamic hackers who have recently been caught attempting to alter…
Newlyweds Disappointed by “Oral Expectation” Gap
Sarah and Ted Jgorksen of Providence, Rhode Island dated for almost two years before tying the knot last Sunday in a small traditional wedding held in the Elmhurst neighborhood. While Ted assumed the $5,200 diamond solitaire would ensure a lifetime…
Boston Rave “Mystery Pills” Found to be Bathtub Sponge Toys
Last Saturday, over a dozen “rave” party-goers were taken to hospital in the Boston suburb of Cambridge. The ostensible culprit was “bad ecstasy”, but the pills, sold for $25 to $35 each, turned out to be nothing more than novelty…