NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more dollars to patrol the border and keep out illegal immigrants.
The rally was held at a private ranch near a gigantic wall the US Government already built to keep out Mexicans. Apparently the wall is not enough, because the Tea Partiers taped American flags all over it to really scare the bejesus out of anybody with brown skin getting near it. In another flourish of non-racism, the Tea Partiers taped hand-written messages to the TWENTY FOOT TALL WALL ALREADY BUILT TO KEEP OUT MEXICANS with ideas on how to stop immigration. Some of the messages were poignant, such as “the mesicns r returded” while others were to the point, such as “nuke Mexico.“
After a surly western diamondback rattlesnake made a brief appearance, the group of bellicose bigots, with an average age of 50+, began to fade in the heat while waiting for the guest speakers, a gun-ho sheriff and a Pinhead Republican Congressman wanna-be. To make matters worse, the dried-up old ranch owner ran out of free Gatorade, then refused entry to his air-conditioned recreation room, because there “wasn‘t a decent pair of tits in the entire crowd”, and because he was guaranteed 175 dollars from the Tea Party organizers, but had not yet seen a dime. The Tea Partiers were forced, under the blazing heat, to trek the 250 feet to their air-conditioned cars. Most spent the ride home to their underwater mortgages cursing the Gov’ment and looking for a runaway Mexican to run over.
After nightfall, a hundred thousand Mexicans, who had spent a busy day getting pregnant in the staggering heat on the Mexican side of the wall, spread their silver wings given to them by Obama, and magically flew over the wall, making their way to freedom so they could take a social security check from a starving Tea Partier, who most likely pays little or no taxes every year.