Search Results for: obama
Newly elected Libertarian still hasn’t made friends
WASHINGTON— Ready to make America free as possible, New Hampshire’s newly elected Representative of the House, Andrew Oak, walked into Chamber and realized he has not a single friend among the 434 individuals clustered into what was essentially 2 cliques….
Domestic Terrorists Enraged Over Foreigners Taking Their Jobs
BAGGS, WYOMING- Notable domestic terror organizations are taking offence to the recent terror activities perpetrated by immigrants. These domestic terror organizations are characterized by their preference of white superiority and characterization of Jesus as a blue eyed, blond haired savior….
Cornfed Beefcake Seeks Harvard Professorship
RANSON – An angry, cornfed beefcake has announced his intention to quit the family farm and apply for a full professorship at Harvard University. Josiah Wilkins, who has only completed a GED and 10 college credits, made his plans clear…
Americans Relieved to See a Tragedy Not Related to a Crazed Gunman
Everywhere, United States- Americans shared a collective sigh of relief this week when they discovered that a tragic explosion in Texas had nothing to do with a crazed individual maliciously seeking violence amongst the population. There had been such a…
Controversy as Democratic Party Changes Name
In an effort to attract the more diverse crop of voters and political revolutionaries emerging in President Obama’s second term, Democrat leaders announced early Wednesday that their party’s name will be changed to “Socialist-Liberal-Progressive-Democrat-Marxist-Leninist-Maoist Party for Pansexual and Botox Patient…
Breaking News: Ayatollah Converts to Judaism
TEHRAN – Millions of Iranians have been left dumbfounded after the Ayatollah Khomeini announced his conversion to Judaism. News agencies in Iran say the Supreme Leader underwent his change of faiths early Wednesday and chose to make an announcement only…
Report: TSA Agents Receive Eternal Cavity Searches in Hell
Washington is ablaze with fury after one of Satan’s lieutenants accidentally leaked the conditions of punishment for TSA agents in Hell, which include cavity searches that never ever end. Buroz Baliferous, a lower demon who works under Satan in the…
More Americans Turning to Glenn Beck for the Truth
You may already know that Glenn Beck is handsome, charming and extremely intelligent, but did you know he also is the leading voice for many of America’s most lost and forgetten? When the liberal media elite railroaded FOX News to…
Rush Limbaugh Voted Most Respected American
The Legitimate Society of Respected Americans has come out with their new survey, and the results are not surprising; Rush Limbaugh voted Most Respected American. Beating out Abe Lincoln, Maya Angelou and Rick Steves, successful radio journalist Rush Limbaugh easily…
FBI to Boost Recruitment, Remove Fitness Requirement
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to meet the growing diversity of the nation, the Department of Justice has announced changes to physical requirements for FBI special agents which will replace regular running with power walking. Current requirements for selection…