Posted in Society Top Stories

New Theme Park, ‘Stand Your Ground Land’ Opens Up in Orlando

ORLANDO, FL- Amidst the controversy of the recent verdict in the Zimmerman trial, the National Rifle Association has opened up a new theme park in the popular tourist location of Orlando, Florida. The theme park features a drive through safari…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Theme Park, ‘Stand Your Ground Land’ Opens Up in Orlando
Posted in Biz News

Power Wheels Offer Green Solution

NEW YORK- Mattel, parent company of the popular toy brand Power Wheels, has announced their bid in to the economic future of this country. They have announced a partnership with the Ford Motor Company to begin selling Power Wheels on…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Power Wheels Offer Green Solution
Posted in Human Interest

Pope Francis Caught Touching Children Appropriately

VATICAN CITY- Allegations arose today as some parents of affected children have come out and told reporters about the lack of abuse shown to their children, directly correlated to Pope Francis. “When he kisses them, it’s on their forehead, and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pope Francis Caught Touching Children Appropriately
Posted in Making Headlines

Pope Francis Caught Touching Children Appropriately

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pope Francis Caught Touching Children Appropriately
Posted in Making Headlines

Domestic Terrorists Enraged Foreigners are Taking Their Jobs

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Domestic Terrorists Enraged Foreigners are Taking Their Jobs
Posted in Society

Domestic Terrorists Enraged Over Foreigners Taking Their Jobs

BAGGS, WYOMING- Notable domestic terror organizations are taking offence to the recent terror activities perpetrated by immigrants. These domestic terror organizations are characterized by their preference of white superiority and characterization of Jesus as a blue eyed, blond haired savior….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Domestic Terrorists Enraged Over Foreigners Taking Their Jobs
Posted in Society

Americans Relieved to See a Tragedy Not Related to a Crazed Gunman

Everywhere, United States- Americans shared a collective sigh of relief this week when they discovered that a tragic explosion in Texas had nothing to do with a crazed individual maliciously seeking violence amongst the population. There had been such a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Americans Relieved to See a Tragedy Not Related to a Crazed Gunman
Posted in Sports

CDC Announces Lower Cases Of Linsainty in 2013

Atlanta – The Center for Disease Control announced today that the terrible fever of Linsanity that swept New York City last year has finally subsided. Doctors say they feared the disease would spread to Houston, but were relived to find…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CDC Announces Lower Cases Of Linsainty in 2013
Posted in War Zone

Intelligence Suggests France May Have a Military

Washington DC- Senior pentagon officials have released a statement where they have confirmed the long speculated existence of a French military. “We were just scanning Africa, you know, because we were bored,” says an off the record source. “And because…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Intelligence Suggests France May Have a Military
Posted in Sports

Harbaugh Mother Still Not Impressed With “Harbowl”

Toledo, Ohio- Sunday night, NFL history was made again when the first set of brothers who are head coaches face off in Super Bowl XLVII. Jim Harbaugh, head coach of the San Fransisco 49ers and John Harbaugh, head coach of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Harbaugh Mother Still Not Impressed With “Harbowl”
Posted in Politics

President Obama Trapped in Hope/Change Related Scandal

GlossyNews.com – Washington D.C.- After many years of speculation, allegations arose concerning the Presidents abuse of Hope. While sources closest to the president could not confirm or deny these allegations, some senior level advisers have come forward with their suspicions….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! President Obama Trapped in Hope/Change Related Scandal
Posted in Politics Television

Romney Threatens to Fire Crowley, Crowd, and China

VILLAGE OF HAMPSTEAD, NEW YORK- The second presidential debate was the scene of chaos as Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney threatened to fire the moderator, debate participants, and an entire nation on Tuesday night. Mitt Romney suffered a severe short…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney Threatens to Fire Crowley, Crowd, and China
Posted in Television

Suicide Bomber Gets Inspiration From Honey Boo Boo

TAIZZ, YEMEN- A suicide bomber was inspired to carry out acts of in excusable violence after the TLC affiliate in Yemen carried an episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Il-Sha’if Musaad is a 27 year old engineering grad student…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Suicide Bomber Gets Inspiration From Honey Boo Boo
Posted in Politics

Biden Wins Debate With Tale of High School Football Game

DANVILLE, KENTUCKY- The Vice Presidential debate was a dramatic stage set for two men who would be a heart beat away from the highest office. It culminated in a speech by Vice President Biden, about a high school football game…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Biden Wins Debate With Tale of High School Football Game
Posted in Politics

Romney “Apologizes” to Obama After Debate Debacle

WASHINGTON DC- Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney sort of apologized to the president this week after the crushing debate performance he delivered, though it remains unclear as to whether Governor Romney actually knows what an apology is. Although the political arena…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney “Apologizes” to Obama After Debate Debacle
Posted in Politics

Romney Schedules Debate to Convince Country He is Still Running

WASHINGTON D.C.- Political insiders have confirmed that not only is republican candidate, Mitt Romney, debating president Obama on Wednesday, but he is still running for president. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan met a group of supporters for a fund raiser,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney Schedules Debate to Convince Country He is Still Running
Posted in Sports Scandals

Madden Players Association in Heated Lockout

GREENVILLE, NC – Sports media has covered many lockouts over the years, but have yet to address the major Madden ’13 lockout that is intensifying in many homes across the country. The lockout occurred after EA sports stopped providing catered…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Madden Players Association in Heated Lockout
Posted in Sports

All 15 Fans of Hockey Lament over Lockout

NEW YORK- The NHL lockout, well within its second week, has left most sports fans uninterrupted, except for the few that consider themselves a fan of hockey. Although sources indicate that hockey is popular in other countries, it has never…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! All 15 Fans of Hockey Lament over Lockout
Posted in Politics

Romney’s Tax Records Show He’s Working for President Obama

WASHINTON D.C.- The Romeny campaign had contested showing Mitt’s 2011 returns for so long, and once released, every one understood why. Mitt Romney had been on the Obama campaign’s payroll for quite some time. “Mitt did a really good job…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney’s Tax Records Show He’s Working for President Obama
Posted in Sportsfolk

Replacement Refs Replace Rules of Football

NEW YORK- Replacement referees, locked out referees, and team owners sat down on Monday to discuss disagreements that have arose over the first three weeks of the season. Sunday’s schedule was an outstanding example of just how creative the liberties…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Replacement Refs Replace Rules of Football
Posted in World News

Japan to Stop Using Nuclear Power, Get Giant Monster Insurance

TOKYO- The Prime Minister of Japan, Yoshihiko Noda, announced that his country will be discontinuing the use of nuclear energy and will also be shopping for giant monster insurance policies. The decision was widely expected after the disastrous earthquake that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Japan to Stop Using Nuclear Power, Get Giant Monster Insurance
Posted in Television

Romney and Ryan to Clean Up Streets in New ABC Drama

LOS ANGELES- After recent reports have surfaced over the lack of news coverage given to Mitt Romney, the Romney/Ryan campaign sought to tackle the issue through a different approach. Romney campaign manager Matt Rhodes tells US Weekly that “It’s no…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Romney and Ryan to Clean Up Streets in New ABC Drama
Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

iPhone 5 Replaces All of Your Personal Relationships

SAN FRANCISCO- In a groundbreaking statement issued to press, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that the new iPhone will “replace all of your loved ones and cherished relationships.” The phone and features were announced earlier this week, already prompting some…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! iPhone 5 Replaces All of Your Personal Relationships
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Topless Pictures of Kate Middleton Leave Observers Saying “Meh”

LONDON- A French tabloid is under scrutiny for publishing pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge topless. While Americans and the rest of the world fell in love with Kate when she was getting married, the recent photos have swayed public…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Topless Pictures of Kate Middleton Leave Observers Saying “Meh”
Posted in Society

Occupy Living Room Protests Still Fighting On

SACRAMENTO- After federal indictments and search warrants have been issued to Occupy Wall Street protest leaders, the Occupy Living Room protests have been continually pressing on, despite harsh criticisms. Although the Occupy Wall Street has lost momentum since last year,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Occupy Living Room Protests Still Fighting On
Posted in Education

Roving Bands of Children Rule Chicago

CHICAGO- While the teachers strike is in full swing, the closing of public schools has allowed roving bands of children to compete for supremacy on Chicago’s streets. While reports are unclear which group has gained the most territory, it is…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Roving Bands of Children Rule Chicago
Posted in Making Headlines

Curiosity Kills Monkey, Not Just Cats

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Curiosity Kills Monkey, Not Just Cats
Posted in Making Headlines

Oprah Commands Minions to Simultaneously Cycle

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Oprah Commands Minions to Simultaneously Cycle
Posted in Making Headlines

Striking Teachers Demand Smarter Students

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Striking Teachers Demand Smarter Students
Posted in Sportsfolk

New Lakers Stars Learn How to Pass the Ball to Kobe

Los Angeles, California- As the Olympic hype dies down and the Lakers’ newest acquisitions begin training for the upcoming season, all players seem to be eager to learn how to pass the ball to Kobe. The two biggest new comers…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Lakers Stars Learn How to Pass the Ball to Kobe