New Theme Park, ‘Stand Your Ground Land’ Opens Up in Orlando

ORLANDO, FL- Amidst the controversy of the recent verdict in the Zimmerman trial, the National Rifle Association has opened up a new theme park in the popular tourist location of Orlando, Florida. The theme park features a drive through safari inhabited by at risk, inner city youth. Although the park has been under scrutiny for this segment of their theme park, they also have been scrutinized for their section of the park themed after the literary classic, The Most Dangerous Game. Read more New Theme Park, ‘Stand Your Ground Land’ Opens Up in Orlando

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Pope Francis Caught Touching Children Appropriately

VATICAN CITY- Allegations arose today as some parents of affected children have come out and told reporters about the lack of abuse shown to their children, directly correlated to Pope Francis.

“When he kisses them, it’s on their forehead, and always followed by a blessing or a prayer,” says one Catholic watchdog reporter. “It’s unlike anything we have ever seen before. Benedict at least had that Nazi youth look in his eye when he was around children, with this guy, there’s nothing.” Read more Pope Francis Caught Touching Children Appropriately

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Domestic Terrorists Enraged Over Foreigners Taking Their Jobs

BAGGS, WYOMING- Notable domestic terror organizations are taking offence to the recent terror activities perpetrated by immigrants. These domestic terror organizations are characterized by their preference of white superiority and characterization of Jesus as a blue eyed, blond haired savior.

Their concerns have risen over the intolerable acts committed by Dzokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the brothers whose family emigrated from Kyrgyzstan when they were young. Read more Domestic Terrorists Enraged Over Foreigners Taking Their Jobs

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