Boehner Promises Nothing From GOP

Orange, OH (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle.

House leader John Boehner vowed that if the GOP captures control of Congress this November, it will do “absolutely nothing for as long as necessary.”

Speaking to an association of tanning salon owners, Boehner candidly unveiled his party’s legislative strategy for 2011 and perhaps beyond. “Republicans strongly believe government cannot achieve much of value,” Boehner said. “And if we are successful this November, we will prove it.”

Republicans praised Boehner’s strategy, while the White House roundly criticized it.

“This is John Boehner at his best,” said a GOP consultant. “He’s been talking about nothing for years, so this is entirely consistent with his thinking.”

“Baloney. This is simply a return to the failed policies of Millard Fillmore and Ulysses S. Grant,” countered Vice President Joe Biden. “The American people remember exactly what that was like, and they don’t want go there again.”

Biden added that President Obama will urge the new Congress for tough regulations to prevent fountain pen leaks and financial reforms requiring banks to give away toasters with all savings accounts.

Author: norbert b. snortwhistle

Norbert Bibbington Snortwhistle is not the author’s real name. A freelance writer living in a California beach town, Mr. Snortwhistle writes about business, politics and other strange affairs. You can read his articles on investing and the economy, posted under the name ‘Low Sweat Investing,’ here.

6 thoughts on “Boehner Promises Nothing From GOP

  1. Your sour grape detector seems to be on the fritz. You seem to think I’m a party-line guy. The left isn’t top-down like that. I want good people in office who care about the masses, not just the super-rich. I have a serious problem with the republicans in power because of the obstructionism and complete failure to compromise.

    Grayson was a dick. He deserved to lose after that Taliban Dan commercial. Good riddance to wanton liars.

  2. I detect sour grapes….Yeah, it was a real shame losing the likes of Alan Grayson, Russ Feingold, and seeing Obama’s old senate seat move to the right. I think I’ll have a beer I am so upset.

    1. You can’t detect sour grapes unless there are some. In my case, it isn’t sour grapes. My message was that I cannot control who votes for whom. I merely stated that I don’t deserve certain politicians who, in my opinion, base their politics on greed and who don’t believe that our country faces some tough environmental challenges. It is a matter of opinion, period, so please don’t make it more than it is. We will just have to see what direction our country takes from this point forward.

  3. Nonsense. They’ll be the party of “We Only Control the House”, so naturally they won’t be able to do anything more than spend two years trying to repeal everything Obama did (as many of their supporters demand) while blaming the gridlock on those dern Democrats… you know, the ones they say are unwilling to compromise.

    Mind you, they bent their asses over backwards trying to reach compromise agreements, all the while going on TV swearing up & down they’d never compromise themselves.

    At least we get the politicians we deserve, right?

    1. Wrong. I didn’t ask for some of these politicians, so I am going to have to disagree that we get the politicians we deserve. I, for one, deserve much better. I think it would be better said that we get the politicians we get whether we like it or not.

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