Orange, OH (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle.
House leader John Boehner vowed that if the GOP captures control of Congress this November, it will do “absolutely nothing for as long as necessary.”
Speaking to an association of tanning salon owners, Boehner candidly unveiled his party’s legislative strategy for 2011 and perhaps beyond. “Republicans strongly believe government cannot achieve much of value,” Boehner said. “And if we are successful this November, we will prove it.”
Republicans praised Boehner’s strategy, while the White House roundly criticized it.
“This is John Boehner at his best,” said a GOP consultant. “He’s been talking about nothing for years, so this is entirely consistent with his thinking.”
“Baloney. This is simply a return to the failed policies of Millard Fillmore and Ulysses S. Grant,” countered Vice President Joe Biden. “The American people remember exactly what that was like, and they don’t want go there again.”
Biden added that President Obama will urge the new Congress for tough regulations to prevent fountain pen leaks and financial reforms requiring banks to give away toasters with all savings accounts.