TYLER, Wyoming – (Glossy News) -Ex-Vice President Dick Cheney is an avid hunter and has filled his time during retirement by duck hunting near his Casper, Wyoming ranch.

 According to friends, Cheney recently was out on the marsh for a weekend of hunting.  As circumstance would have it, he decided to relieve himself against a tree…that’s when trouble began to brew.

The ex-VP walked over to a nearby pine tree and propped up his gun. When an errant gust of wind blew, the shotgun fell over toward the ground.  As Cheney tried to grab it, the shotgun accidentally discharged, shooting him squarely in the genitals .

The shot was heard by friends who rushed the unconscious Cheney to the hospital. Several hours later, while lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his surgeon, Dr. Morse.

Since most men would ask the same question, Cheney immediately asked about his private parts and was reassured that he was receiving the best of care at Saint Andrews Surgical Hospital

Dr. Morse added, “Well, Mr. Vice President, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was localized to your groin area, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”

“So, what’s the bad news?” asked Cheney, now a little worried.

Dr. Morse: “The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I’m going to have to refer you to my brother.”

“Oh, well I guess that isn’t too bad,” Cheney replied with some relief in his voice, “is your brother a plastic surgeon?”

“Mmmmm, not exactly,”  answered the doctor,  “ He’s a piccolo player in our local symphony orchestra and he’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t pee in your eye.”