Aniston & Pitt Split, Fan Masturbation Hits New High

Aniston & Pitt Split, Fan Masturbation Hits New High

11 January 2005 03:47 - by Brian K. White

Hollywood – Brad Pitt has aknowleged that his “seven years in T’Bitch” has officially ended. With both Pitt and his A-list ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston back on the dating scene, surveys have shown that instances of fan masturbation are reaching new highs, indeed, bordering on epidemic.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television0 Comments

Culkin So High, Didn’t Know He Was in Oklahoma

Culkin So High, Didn’t Know He Was in Oklahoma

20 September 2004 02:11 - by Brian K. White

Macaulay Culkin, long the idol of Jacksonian worship, has reached new highs in his career and physiology this week with his drug arrest in, of all places, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Culkin made no comment about his star-turned-felon status which put him in the illustrious company of OJ, Zsa-Zsa and Kimberly from Diff’rent Strokes.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Crime0 Comments

Coca-Cola Deploys 5,000 Troops to Somalia

Coca-Cola Deploys 5,000 Troops to Somalia

09 July 2004 02:27 - by Brian K. White

Coca-Cola was forced to withdraw their 8,000 peacekeeping troops from Somalia when war broke out in 1989. The civil scene has since subsided and civilians, long thirsty for caffeinated cola, seem eager to embrace the armed forces being provided by Coca-Cola.

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Posted in Biz News, World News0 Comments

Tatoo Fails to be Even Remotely Sexy

Tatoo Fails to be Even Remotely Sexy

15 March 2004 08:02 - by Brian K. White

Jerri-Anne Thomas is a newly divorced, middle-aged, portly housewife who has been working hard to express the hunger of her acute onset mid-life crisis. When her sexually liberated spinster friend got a new tattoo hailed as sexy by a variety of fellow bar-goers, Jerri-Anne decided it was just the thing for her.

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Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

Razor Blade Sales Down Despite Halloween

Razor Blade Sales Down Despite Halloween

29 October 2003 06:30 - by Rudager P. Marshall

Major razor manufacturer Gillette and pin and needle maker PrickCo have shown slumping sales, even though Halloween is only days away. Late October usually sees a surge in sales of razors, needles, and other sharp objects.

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Woman “Powdering Nose” Actually Taking Big Ol’ Dump

Woman “Powdering Nose” Actually Taking Big Ol’ Dump

04 July 2003 08:30 - by Rudager P. Marshall

SAN FRANCISCO – While on a dinner date with Oakland resident Robert Madison, 25, Eva Truman, 24, excused herself, claiming she had to powder her nose. Subsequent investigation, though, has revealed an ulterior motive to her bathroom visit Tuesday night.

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Bryant Gumbel Publishes “Almost Black Like Me”

Bryant Gumbel Publishes “Almost Black Like Me”

03 July 2003 10:40 - by Brian K. White

Fanfare accompanied critical praise this week as the New York Times best seller list welcomed it’s newest member. Rave reviews came from white, black, latino and Asian critics, all claiming him as a member of their own.

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More Parents Monitoring Children’s Web-Porn Viewing

More Parents Monitoring Children’s Web-Porn Viewing

15 June 2003 04:18 - by Rudager P. Marshall

LOS ANGELES – More parents are taking the time to monitor the pornography their children view on the internet, according to the second annual Walt Disney Co. study on the subject. Disney reports that 71% of the 774 parents surveyed limit the types of pornography their children may access.

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Rescue 911 Bloopers – Hilarious Medical Misadventure Romp

Rescue 911 Bloopers – Hilarious Medical Misadventure Romp

09 June 2003 05:54 - by Rudager P. Marshall

The hottest selling video in the country right now is the sleeper “RESCUE 911: Too Sad For TV”, a compilation of stories with some hilarious goofs that weren’t aired on the original Rescue 911 series on CBS. Released a month ago, it has climbed to the top of the sales chart, passing Spiderman and selling […]

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Posted in Television0 Comments

Barbara Walters Goes Out in Public Without Soft Focus Blur, Thousands Terrified

Barbara Walters Goes Out in Public Without Soft Focus Blur, Thousands Terrified

04 June 2003 06:20 - by Rudager P. Marshall

LOS ANGELES – ABC anchorwoman Barbara Walters ventured forth from her home in the hills just like any other day- but this time she forgot the soft focus blur that has become a staple for any appearance she makes, on television or otherwise. The crippling shock of seeing the 109-year-old Walters without her vanity mask […]

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television0 Comments

N. Korea on Bush: “Only After Our Coal”

N. Korea on Bush: “Only After Our Coal”

01 June 2003 12:07 - by Rudager P. Marshall

PYONGYANG, N. KOREA – In a statement released Friday, North Korea’s President Kim Jong II denounced President Bush’s diplomatic pressure on his nation and accused America of targeting North Korea because of the country’s coal, iron, magnesite, graphite, copper, zinc, and lead mining prospects. The U.S. claims its diplomatic efforts have come as a response […]

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

New Glossy News Author Tutorial

04 December 1013 01:02 - by Brian K. White

New Writer Tutorial and Self-Publishing Guidelines…

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

How to Get the Best Graphics on Your Story

04 December 1013 12:31 - by Brian K. White

You may have noticed that some stories on Glossy News have custom Photoshopped images, while others have stock photos, or something quite generic. Sometimes a killer image can make a story, so let’s get you one. Ways to get a great image on your story… 1 – The very easiest way is by going out […]

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

December 2013 Glossy News author contest… $275 in Cash Prizes

03 December 1013 10:09 - by Brian K. White

Yep, you read it right. $275 is up for grabs. $150 for the most-read article, $75 for the best article, and, $50 as a special award. PRIZES WORK LIKE THIS: $150 Most Read: Plain and simple. Most read story on the site for the month of December gets the top prize. $75 Best Article: It’s […]

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

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