Police Chief Faces Racist Probe from “Damn Darkies”

Police Chief Faces Racist Probe from “Damn Darkies”

12 September 2009 02:49 - by Rusty

According to a report leaked to the Daily Shitraker by an anonymous source inside the Metropolitan Police Authority (Sergeant Candida Muffrot) an independent investigation has begun into claims of racism against Ms. Catherine Crawfish, the 95-year old Gorgonesque chief executive of the MPA.

Read the full story

Posted in Crooked Cops, Society0 Comments

Fat Camp for Porky Kids Opens to Poor Food Reviews

Fat Camp for Porky Kids Opens to Poor Food Reviews

12 September 2009 12:39 - by Rusty

Reporters from the Daily Shitraker have uncovered a secret plan formulated by Sir Erwin Bogbrush – New Labour’s Minister for Orwellian Studies – to send overweight children on a draconian NHS enforced slimming regime.

Read the full story

Posted in Health, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Literal Dog Gang Finally Collared

Literal Dog Gang Finally Collared

11 September 2009 08:15 - by Rusty

A pack of mutts known locally as the Manky Mongrel Gang have been arrested by a joint action team of police and the RSPCA’s elite Canine Squad officers following the discovery of £3,000 of stolen pet food during a raid on a Kennel Lane property at Barking in Essex.

Read the full story

Posted in Strange People, World News0 Comments

Video Kid Struggles w/ Basic Shooting Principles

Video Kid Struggles w/ Basic Shooting Principles

11 September 2009 12:13 - by Brendan Alexander

We all have our jobs to do around the Perplexing Times offices, and we all do them, time permitting, to the best of our ability. Well, maybe not the best of our abilities, but certainly to the best of our interest in doing so. This staff Videographer we hired, however, is really mooking up the […]

Read the full story

Posted in Kidz Zone0 Comments

Innovative Cops Boost Income by Robbing Cars

Innovative Cops Boost Income by Robbing Cars

10 September 2009 04:32 - by Rusty

While there’s nothing unusual about discovering items of value have been stolen from unlocked (or locked) parked cars – including the actual car wheels or engine – or the car itself – by opportunist thieving Pikey scallies during the deepening recession, it may well come as a bit of a surprise to learn the ‘culprit’ […]

Read the full story

Posted in Crooked Cops, Society0 Comments

Anti-Graft Boss Caught Elbow-Deep in Graft

Anti-Graft Boss Caught Elbow-Deep in Graft

10 September 2009 01:39 - by Rusty

Campaigners have condemned the reappointment of the head of Kenya’s anti-corruption agency – the KACC (pronounced ‘cack’) – by the 105-year old President Dogbone Meow Kitkatbar.

Read the full story

Posted in Crooked Cops, World News0 Comments

NHS E-Mail Reply Three Years Late

NHS E-Mail Reply Three Years Late

10 September 2009 01:23 - by Rusty

The National Health Service has apologised after writing to a man to address various concerns over his hospital medical treatment – three-and-half years after he kicked the bucket and went aloft to join the Choir Invisible.

Read the full story

Posted in Health, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Suicide Bomber Sues For Injuries

Suicide Bomber Sues For Injuries

09 September 2009 07:38 - by John Francis Raines

WASHINGTON D.C.– Known terrorist Ahmed Aafiya Sadeed has filed a law suit against the United States Government, claiming the White House to be an unsafe work environment. The law suit arose after Ahmed Aafiya Sadeed was injured falling off of the White House roof, which he claimed was, “Terribly difficult to climb, especially with bombs […]

Read the full story

Posted in Top Stories3 Comments

iPhone Explodes in Ossetia – Millions Feared Dead

iPhone Explodes in Ossetia – Millions Feared Dead

09 September 2009 02:53 - by Rusty

French consumer groups are investigating a disturbing bout of recent reports concerning iPhone 3GS models that have exploded or burst into flames spontaneously.

Read the full story

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, War Zone0 Comments

Congress Places Bill of Rights Up for Auction on eBay

Congress Places Bill of Rights Up for Auction on eBay

09 September 2009 01:10 - by Fuzzy Duffy

Washington, DC (BSNE): Amid much fanfare, Congressional leaders from both parties announced a new series of aggressive raise revenues to off set the skyrocketing Federal Budget Deficit. At the top of the Initiative is to offer the Bill of Rights for sale to interested parties on eBay.

Read the full story

Posted in Biz News, Politics3 Comments

Cloak of Death Nets $1M at Sotheby’s Auction

Cloak of Death Nets $1M at Sotheby’s Auction

07 September 2009 08:49 - by P. Beckert

New York, NY – The New York office of Sotheby’s has disclosed that the original Cloak of Death, worn by Death himself, has been auctioned off for the amazing sum of $1M. The cloak was reportedly put up for auction by the heirs of one of the last surviving members of Hitler’s Third Reich, who […]

Read the full story

Posted in Religionism, Strange People0 Comments

Failures Force Obama to Look for Scapegoats

Failures Force Obama to Look for Scapegoats

07 September 2009 02:10 - by Sagman44

National Enquirer – Part II of John Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at the Obama Compound. From his hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where strategy meetings were held, Smith taped the following conversation between Obama and top advisors. This session had to do with […]

Read the full story

Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Counter Protester Turns to Cannibalism

Counter Protester Turns to Cannibalism

06 September 2009 08:21 - by P. Beckert

Kayotic City, CA – Things turned ugly Wednesday night at a gathering of citizens in favor of President Obama’s Health Care Reform Bill, when a counter-protester ran up to one of the march participants and bit off the tip of his finger. The victim, Phil Langes, was rushed to Los Rabies Hospital and Medical Center’s […]

Read the full story

Posted in Health, Top Stories0 Comments

President Obama Assaulted With Caramels

President Obama Assaulted With Caramels

04 September 2009 05:16 - by P. Beckert

Taking his cue from a popular American television show, President Karzai of Afghanistan lobs candy at President Obama, believing it to be an act of endearment.

Read the full story

Posted in Politics1 Comment

Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors

Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors

03 September 2009 05:43 - by Sagman44

Stung by reports that the elderly are turning against his health care reform proposal, President Barack Obama is prepared to offer seniors a series of incentives to get them back on board.

Read the full story

Posted in Health, Politics0 Comments

Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave

Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave

01 September 2009 02:35 - by Sagman44

Washington — Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reports that the Obama Administration plans to use the death of Senator Ted Kennedy to fast-track its health care reform measure now languishing in Congress.

Read the full story

Posted in Health, Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Obama: Stop Bothering Me

Obama: Stop Bothering Me

29 August 2009 07:30 - by Sagman44

Washington — A source close to President Barack Obama tells Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward that the President has begun to chafe at his inability to get away from the job, even at his vacation retreat on Martha’s Vineyard.

Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, Politics, Top Stories1 Comment

Sexy Prison Guard Too Gorgeous, Fired

Sexy Prison Guard Too Gorgeous, Fired

27 August 2009 05:51 - by Rusty

A female prison officer was forced out of her job after being bullied because she was considered too pretty to enforce discipline, a Smegmadale Employment Tribunal heard this week. Fellatia Sodomberg, 27, a former Albanian BD/SM Pro-Dominatrix, is claiming constructive dismissal and suing Justice Secretary Jack Straw and HM Prison Service after being forced to […]

Read the full story

Posted in Strange People0 Comments



Check out all this crazy fun: Use free online picture editor to edit your photos easily!
www.leahsdesigns.com.au | EffectivePapers.com - essay service | Check out Wink Bingo for your holiday treat! | Plus Size Prom Dresses | Beach Wedding Dresses
We Made a Movie!


Check us out on Kickstarter!


Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



DHgate.com





Hire a professional essay writer at EssayMill.com Order your perfect essay at Myessaywriting.com! Term Paper Easy is the best solution for students who struggle with their term papers.

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial