Breaking: Glossy News to Feature Malaysia Flight 370 Article

GN Corporate Headquarters—After waiting long enough for someone, anyone, to address the issue that was clearly a major, current topic, Glossy News has finally caved in and decided to break their deafening silence regarding Malaysia Flight 370.

“I just know we were all thinking about it, but for what seemed like an eternity, not a single article about the missing jetliner had been suggested or appeared on our site. The wait for someone to address this was agonizing,” said an anonymous employee.

“We just can’t keep utterly ignoring this, people!” screamed enraged head honchos at the esteemed Fortune 500 satirical powerhouse.

Sources indicate several instances of desk pounding occurred.

Later on, in the writers’ room, Glossy News writers thought intensely about how to introduce the topic to the website.

“Maybe we’ll just put one out and see how that goes?” suggested one writer.

“Yea. We can try that. Definitely best to ease in on it. Last thing we need is overkill.”

“Hey, maybe we could throw in something about breadsticks?” suggested another writer.

The writers continued to ponder for quite some time, some of them later admitting they still weren’t fully committed to releasing even one flight 370 article at the time.

An impassioned source said, “How could they flat-out ignore this massive elephant in the room all this time? I depend on Glossy for all my aviation-related news, both missing and non-missing subtypes. And some general news from time to time as well.”

“I sure hope they get on this real quick and get to playin’ catch-up,” he added.

Author: Rusty Shackleford

Rusty Shackleford is a comedy writer typing away from a bunker in an undisclosed location.

4 thoughts on “Breaking: Glossy News to Feature Malaysia Flight 370 Article

  1. I think I speak for many when I say we are all waiting breathlessly for your first article on the amount of lint in the navels of passengers on Flight 370.

  2. I must admit I was one of those writers in the boardroom (bored room?) who expressed misgivings about writing even a single flight 370 story. CNN has already bored people–or is it just me?–to tears with that story, even with the addition of the conspiracy theories.

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