Fox News Searches For the New ‘Rwanda Effect’ Effect

Fox News Searches For the New ‘Rwanda Effect’ Effect

25 January 2010 08:27 - by rfreed

Fox News, in its never ending search for more fuel to stoke its listener’s fires, has hired a crack team of psychologists, sociologists, media gurus and general psychopaths to help them find and exploit the ‘Rwanda Effect’. The Rwanda Effect is the name of a phenomena related to the incendiary radio broadcasts that set off […]

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Posted in War Zone4 Comments

Supreme Court Ruling Says Bailout Money Can Buy Political Ads

Supreme Court Ruling Says Bailout Money Can Buy Political Ads

25 January 2010 06:16 - by P. Beckert

The major television stations, i.e. Fox, CBS, NBC and ABC have all announced plans to drastically cut regular programming beginning in July of this year in order to make room for the onslaught of corporate-backed political advertising set to gain full steam around that time. The networks are reportedly taking early bids for prime-time air […]

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

Schools Expand Zero Tolerance Policies to Include “Lack of Spirit”

Schools Expand Zero Tolerance Policies to Include “Lack of Spirit”

25 January 2010 05:07 - by Fuzzy Duffy

Framingham, MS (GlossyNews) — Prominent public education leaders from across the nation called for an across the board expansion in Zero Tolerance policies in public schools today after a two week symposium. The leaders found the mandatory expulsion and suspension from school of students for various infractions both “improved school spirit and created an atmosphere […]

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Posted in Society1 Comment

Detroit Dismantled And Moved To Chicago

Detroit Dismantled And Moved To Chicago

24 January 2010 09:28 - by rfreed

What is left of the city of Detroit was dismantled and shipped to Illinois this week. The Motor City, long beset by declines in the automotive industry and general economy, has given up the ghost as a separate city entity and will be rebuilt as a new suburb of Chicago called ‘Floyd’. The once proud […]

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Posted in Biz News0 Comments

Advice on Sex Change Exchange Between Father and Daughter

Advice on Sex Change Exchange Between Father and Daughter

24 January 2010 07:00 - by Ask Hank

Note from Hank: Before we get to today’s column, I just want to give a shout out to all the kind folks who have written asking questions. I’m limited in what I can respond to because I only do my column once a week, but rest assured, I will get to each and every one […]

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Posted in Society, Top Stories0 Comments

Health Alert: Defective, Dangerous, “Suspiciously Snug” Chinese Condoms Recalled

Health Alert: Defective, Dangerous, “Suspiciously Snug” Chinese Condoms Recalled

24 January 2010 04:23 - by P. Beckert

After reading this story, there will be true dilemmas playing out all over America–in bedrooms, on living room couches, in the back seat of daddy’s sedan or Tiger Woods’ Escalade—do I or don’t I take a chance with that pack of rubbers I just bought in bulk at Sam’s Club and the Dollar Store? That’s […]

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Pope Declares God Not Dead, Only on Vacation

Pope Declares God Not Dead, Only on Vacation

23 January 2010 02:29 - by Iracundus Humanus

Speaking ex cathedra from the Vatican today, Pope Benedict XVI, in response to the many rumors that God (aka The Almighty, Yahweh, Allah, Bhagwan, etc.) is dead, attempted to clarify the Global situation and put the rumors to rest once and for all. In an interview with Fr. Guido Sarducci, editor of The Vatican Enquirer, […]

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

All White-All American Sports Venues Outlaw Ethnic Snacks

All White-All American Sports Venues Outlaw Ethnic Snacks

23 January 2010 09:29 - by P. Beckert

With the advent of all white, American-only teams in the near future, many sports venues have followed suit by removing any snacks that originated in any country other than America. That means, hamburgers, originally from Hamburg, Germany and hot dogs, or frankfurters, originally from Frankfurt, Germany, will no longer be served. Nachos, a Mexican treat, […]

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Posted in Sports, Sports Events0 Comments

Conservatives Quickly Devise Cheap Plan to Counter Obamacare

Conservatives Quickly Devise Cheap Plan to Counter Obamacare

23 January 2010 03:29 - by rfreed

The conservative parties of America have realized that they need to come up with a new health care system or stand in danger of losing the millions they have invested in the dysfunctional system that is being assailed by the Obama administration. Working overtime to beat the new system before it beat them, they finally […]

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Posted in Health, Politics0 Comments

Miracle Water Diet Courtesy of Texas Spring Water Co.

Miracle Water Diet Courtesy of Texas Spring Water Co.

22 January 2010 02:59 - by P. Beckert

Thirty-five years ago, you wouldn’t have been able to tell Joe P. Freely that he’d someday get rich selling bottled water, but today, it’s money that’s flowing from Freely’s diet spring water business in Big Spring, Texas. “Your Nation Natural Diet Water” is the fastest selling diet water in the southwest. In fact, it’s selling […]

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Devil Sues Pat Robertson for Breach of Contract

Devil Sues Pat Robertson for Breach of Contract

22 January 2010 09:21 - by eggplantpost

A lawsuit filed by the devil in a Virginia district court claims that Pat Robertson is the party with an actual contractual relationship with Satan. Virginia Beach – The devil filed a lawsuit in the Virginia Beach district court on Thursday suing Pat Robertson for breach of contract. “Pat Robertson has broken the terms of […]

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Weight Watchers Weigh-in Brings Building to its Knobby Knees

Weight Watchers Weigh-in Brings Building to its Knobby Knees

22 January 2010 07:10 - by Iracundus Humanus

Friday, a near tragedy occurred in the south central town of Vaxjo, Sweden when the participants in a Weight Watchers group were subjected to a structural failure of the building they were using. During a routine weigh-in to determine the amount of weight each participant had lost, and how much farther they needed to go […]

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Posted in Health0 Comments

World’s First Pregnant Man Opts for Abortion

World’s First Pregnant Man Opts for Abortion

22 January 2010 05:37 - by Reverend Mike

Berlin (GlossyNews) — The first man to be able to successfully conceive, carry and naturally deliver a child, announced today that he will have an abortion, four months in to his pregnancy. Abel Boustard, 27, from the small town of Arad in western Romania said he realized that he was not prepared for the demands […]

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Posted in Science & Technologizzy1 Comment

Horoscopes by Catman, Dude

Horoscopes by Catman, Dude

21 January 2010 06:36 - by Phil Maggitti

Welcome once again to the astrological stylings of Catman, Dude—the only seer who is not afraid to ask, “How the hell am I supposed to know?” Mr. Dude is an award-winning prognosticator who is half-cat, half-human, and half-assed. The Dude’s ability to predict the future is exceeded only by his inability to recall the past, […]

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Posted in Horoscopes1 Comment

Dick Cheney Tapped to Fill Retiring Satan’s Seat

Dick Cheney Tapped to Fill Retiring Satan’s Seat

21 January 2010 04:45 - by rfreed

In a surprise move Sunday, Satan, the Prince of Darkness, announced his retirement citing that after thousands of years of initiating pestilence, wars, catastrophes and general mayhem, he was ready for a break. “The job wears you down.” the Great Evil One said in a rare interview yesterday. “The fun goes out of it after […]

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Senator Introduces Bill to Name Feb 29 Barack Obama Day

Senator Introduces Bill to Name Feb 29 Barack Obama Day

21 January 2010 12:41 - by P. Beckert

In a move to recognize the strides America has made in electing its first African American to the highest public office in the land, Senator Shirley Wynott (D-Id) has introduced a bill that would make every February 29 “National Barack Obama Day.” Never in the history of the United States has a standing President been […]

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Posted in Politics0 Comments



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