Posted in War Zone World News

Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot

It was early spring of 2014 when the savior of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, was enjoying his three course meal in complete tranquility, an annual source of food considered by his people. To everyone’s surprise, later that day, it was…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot
Posted in Crime World News

Pistorius’ Defence ‘A Shot in the Dark’

A leaked document has been revealed to the press outlining Oscar Pistorius’ proposed defence arguments in his ongoing murder trial. The legal brief describes the three main planks to his defence designed to undermine the prosecutors case.Firstly he is to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pistorius’ Defence ‘A Shot in the Dark’
Posted in World News

Malaysian Flight MH370 Survivors ‘Confirmed’

Kimi Ono, head of the MH370 survivors group, held a press conference today, to deny claims from the Malaysian investigation authorities that all those aboard the doomed plane were ‘obviously now dead’. Mrs Ono began ‘I know my husband is…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Malaysian Flight MH370 Survivors ‘Confirmed’
Posted in World News

Malaysian Airliner Wins Gold in 2014’s Hide and Seek Olympic Tournament

Malaysian Airliner MH370 staff and passengers were officially declared 2014’s Hide and Seek gold champions by the International Olympics Committee this week leaving millions pissed that the team did not attempt to break the world record set by Osama Bin…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Malaysian Airliner Wins Gold in 2014’s Hide and Seek Olympic Tournament
Posted in Sports Sports Events

Tiger Breadsticks His Way Back Into The Masters

Jupiter Island, Florida – Despite withdrawing from the Masters earlier in the week after having unavoidable back surgery, Tiger Woods unexpectedly announced Thursday evening that he is back in the tournament and credits “the almighty breadstick” for helping him make…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tiger Breadsticks His Way Back Into The Masters
Posted in Making Headlines Television

Millionaire Tricks CNN into Stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane

Dateline: ATLANTA—Elderly oddball millionaire, Huey Longbottom, shuns the internet and receives all of his news from CNN, but taking no interest in the missing Malaysian plane, which CNN has covered exhaustively for several weeks, Longbottom orchestrated several bizarre spectacles to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Millionaire Tricks CNN into Stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane
Posted in Science Technology

Scientists Find Water On Nearby Useless, Soda-less Planet

CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA. — Scientists with the NASA space program recently uncovered several million gallons of potable water — though no traces of carbonated liquid of any kind — on a large, nearby planet in what is being pronounced “a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Scientists Find Water On Nearby Useless, Soda-less Planet
Posted in Internets Tubes

Glossy News March Winners Announced

For reasons unknown, we’re still running the $250 satire contest for our writers. Here are your March winners. The Top Ten #10 – Facing Extinction, Olive Garden Traces Dinosaur’s Demise For Answers by FreeMann. Just goes to show that sometimes…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glossy News March Winners Announced
Posted in Sports Sportsfolk

Tiger Woods Unable To Play In Masters After Successful Penisectomy

Tiger Woods announced Tuesday that he has undergone a successful penisectomy for a vestigial weiner that has been haunting him for several years. The surgery was performed Monday in Park City, Utah, by neurosurgeon Dr. Charles Ima Richer. The procedure…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tiger Woods Unable To Play In Masters After Successful Penisectomy
Posted in World News

International MH370 Search Efforts To Be Unified Under “Operation Wild Goose”

Responding to criticism that search efforts for the ill fated Flight 370 have been unfocused, haphazard and confusing, United Nations Secretary-General Ban-ki-moon announced today that all future efforts will be directed by one authority under the title “Operation Wild Goose”.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! International MH370 Search Efforts To Be Unified Under “Operation Wild Goose”