Ask Hank: Advice on Golf Masters, Mistresses and Bawdy Birdies

Ask Hank: Advice on Golf Masters, Mistresses and Bawdy Birdies

20 December 2009 09:40 - by Ask Hank

Dear Hank, My wife recently found out that I’ve been seeing some other women and now it seems like I’m in all kinds of trouble. She knew when we met that I was a swinger but now she’s pretending like she thought she was the only one I allowed to touch my balls. And the […]

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Posted in Society0 Comments

True Love, Romance or Just Plain Sex… What’s It All Mean?

20 December 2009 09:32 - by Charles L. Wang

Although “falling in love” is probably the most wonderful feeling in the world and the most mysterious state of mind one can find him/herself within, science tells us that “falling in love” is very transient and not the answer to most of a person’s problems. There is no “happily-ever-after” fairy-tales in real life, say the […]

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Posted in Serious Commentary2 Comments

Fox News Group Leads in Dumbing Down America

Fox News Group Leads in Dumbing Down America

20 December 2009 02:56 - by P. Beckert

Results of a preliminary study conducted by the Institute for the Dumbing Down of America (IDDA), Fox News Group has come out way ahead of any other television network news provider as having phenomenal success in creating misinformed, less intelligent human beings over the past ten years. According to Dr. Bo Gusfindings, “folks who have […]

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Posted in Television46 Comments

Non-Famous Person Dies

Non-Famous Person Dies

19 December 2009 12:07 - by Liberties-Taken

Actor Blaine Thornton passed away this week at his home in San Diego, California. He was 91. Mr. Thornton will long be remembered as one of the major stars in early television, but only by his immediate family. A child star, Blaine first found the silver screen in Hal Roach’s ill-fated spinoff to the “Our […]

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

Scientists Would Store Radioactive Waste In Your Yard

Scientists Would Store Radioactive Waste In Your Yard

19 December 2009 09:07 - by Reverend Mike

Cambridge MA (GlossyNews) — Scientists in a leading institute of technology announced this week that they are making headway into a bold new way to store radioactive waste. Stepping back from creating huge ‘landfills’ of radioactive waste, two scientists are taking a different approach. The scientists — physicist Dr Hugo Green, and photocytologist Dr Melvin […]

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Posted in Science0 Comments

City Sued For Providing Free Drugs To Residents

City Sued For Providing Free Drugs To Residents

19 December 2009 07:02 - by BobZaguy

Philadelphia, PA – Recently the Associated Press disclosed that the Environmental Protection Agency plans on collecting 1 million pills during an Earth Day initiative aimed at the people who live around the Great Lakes. They also stated that there is a presence of antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones in the drinking water of […]

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Posted in Crime0 Comments

Senate Hands Control of Health Care Reform to Private Citizen

Senate Hands Control of Health Care Reform to Private Citizen

19 December 2009 04:02 - by Reverend Mike

Hoboken NJ — In an effort to provide the best possible universal health care coverage to American Citizens, the Senate today released a new, surprise, Health Care Plan where all coverage will be provided through the ‘Bill Whiddel Insurance Agency’. Mr Whiddel runs a small, one man office in Hoboken, New Jersey. Whiddel was surprised […]

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Woods Chasing Beck in Lost Sponsor Race

Woods Chasing Beck in Lost Sponsor Race

18 December 2009 09:37 - by BobZaguy

FOXNEWDS Studios–NYC. — In a little noticed scenario in the celeb sweeps the recent Tiger girls-rush-to-claim-sex-with-me-first media circus has caused another celeb, Glenn Beck, to amp up his offensive abilities. Beck is reported as hiring a brace of new writers with the express purpose of besting Tiger and keeping the headlines at FocusOnMeGlennBeck.com.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip3 Comments

IKEA To Accept Souls As Currency

IKEA To Accept Souls As Currency

18 December 2009 02:48 - by Michael Wakcher

In a bold attempt to increase sales, Swedish furniture retailer IKEA has announced that it will soon allow customers to sign away their mortal souls in exchange for store credit. Those whose souls are not wholesome enough to afford more expensive items will be advised to pray before making their final purchase in easy to […]

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Posted in Biz News0 Comments

Senate Democrats Should be Sent to Reform School

Senate Democrats Should be Sent to Reform School

18 December 2009 08:23 - by P. Beckert

In the wake of the systematic butchering of the Senate version of the health care reform bill almost single-handedly by Sen. Joe Lieberman (Dem/Ind/Rep/Lib-CN), it has been suggested that not only Lieberman, but all Democrats should be sent to Reform School to learn the meaning of the word reform. Let’s review. According to several sources, […]

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Aliens Walk Among Us (in Bulgaria Anyway)

Aliens Walk Among Us (in Bulgaria Anyway)

18 December 2009 03:47 - by Rusty

Aliens from the Planet Nibiru and also the Pliedes, Lyra and Draco star systems have been visiting Earth for Millenniums what horologists term ‘a very long time’ – according to Bulgarian scientist Prof. Gregor von Numpty – and what is more “They speak Bulgarian and adore eating Karvama – as they claim it tastes just […]

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Posted in Science1 Comment

How a Magical God Experience Transforms People

18 December 2009 12:04 - by Charles L. Wang

(People seem very interested in the Question of God… So here’s another paper on God and Mysticism and Human Progression…) ‘Characteristics and experiences perceived during the mystical state have been examined in many scientific studies, the majority falling into the 1950’s and 60’s, in the period after their discovery before politics made scientific investigation difficult. […]

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Posted in Serious Commentary1 Comment

New Construction Soars as Contractors Build without Buyers

New Construction Soars as Contractors Build without Buyers

17 December 2009 07:46 - by Reverend Mike

Houston (GlossyNews Exclusive) — Housing starts all over the country have soared in the last two weeks as contractors went back to work building with a vengance. Only problem is — there are no buyers. Already over 200 general contractors, in Texas alone, have started projects which will eventually yield 12,000 housing units, two schools […]

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Posted in Biz News0 Comments

Google Announces New Motto: “Be Less Evil Than Microsoft”

Google Announces New Motto: “Be Less Evil Than Microsoft”

17 December 2009 06:38 - by Brian K. White

Since clinging to the original motto of “Don’t Be Evil” proved too great a burden in the emerging web economy, the more realistic slogan of “Be Less Evil than Microsoft” seemed a better fit, and an effortless goalpost to hit, according to CEO Eric Schmidt.

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

Granny Grapples with Grocery Superpower

Granny Grapples with Grocery Superpower

17 December 2009 12:38 - by Rusty

A 95-year old Grandmother has answered the clarion of moral conscience’s call and is spearheading the campaign against a proposed supermarket being built atop the listed buildings of a historic English market town. Fellatia Skank spit the proverbial dummy when informed of plans to build one of the ubiquitous Pukesbury’s Greedy Grocer supermarket outlets on […]

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Posted in Biz News0 Comments

Was Jesus a British Citizen?

Was Jesus a British Citizen?

16 December 2009 07:24 - by Rusty

If one is to believe the latest Gospel being proclaimed from on high by Scottish academic and archaeologist Reverend ‘Gorbals Jack’ McTwattie, Jesus Christ came to Britain to further his education and help out his old pikey Uncle – Joseph of Arimathea – with his pioneering tin canning business.

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments



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