New Malpractice Defense Tactic: Doctors Told to Fess Up

New Malpractice Defense Tactic: Doctors Told to Fess Up

26 September 2009 05:53 - by P. Beckert

Washington, D.C. – On the advice of their attorneys and malpractice insurance company executives, doctors are now stepping forward and admitting their mistakes, hoping that a sincere apology and a couple of bucks will make multi-million dollar malpractice and wrongful death lawsuits magically disappear. “Folks who have erroneously lost an arm or a leg, or […]

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Posted in Health0 Comments

UK Roller Coaster Apes Final Destination 3

UK Roller Coaster Apes Final Destination 3

26 September 2009 04:34 - by Rusty

In a real-life enactment of the horror movie Final Destination 3 two carriages on a giant roller coaster ride collided at the UK’s Slagpool Pleasure Beach yesterday when one of them became jammed on the rails through an accumulation of pigeon shit and a total lack of maintenance and axle grease.

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Posted in Talky Pictures1 Comment

EPA: Free Speech Causes Global Warming

EPA: Free Speech Causes Global Warming

26 September 2009 01:14 - by Fuzzy Duffy

Washington, DC (BNSE): The Environmental Protection Agency released its updated quarterly findings today, which placed “Free Speech Carbon Emissions” as “one of the largest unchecked sources of Carbon Dioxide contamination in North America.”

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Posted in Environment0 Comments

Quangos Blackball Everyday English Phrases

Quangos Blackball Everyday English Phrases

26 September 2009 10:13 - by Rusty

In a further attempt to prove beyond all reasonable doubt that the World has gone totally tits-up barmy dozens of UK quangos and unleashed taxpayer-funded organisations have ordered a purge of common words and phrases so as not to cause offence to any fucker or their dog ” or cat ” whatever ” and put […]

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Human Guinea Pig Mutations Blamed on Sunny D’

Human Guinea Pig Mutations Blamed on Sunny D’

26 September 2009 07:15 - by Rusty

A final sanitised report into a clinical trial of the experimental drug TGN 1412 at a Little Hampton clinic that left six men seriously mutated in March found the catastrophic adverse physical reactions they suffered were not due to errors in how the drug was made or tested.

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Posted in Health1 Comment

Bathroom Reading At Work, Man Sets Own Record

Bathroom Reading At Work, Man Sets Own Record

26 September 2009 06:25 - by David M. Kruk

Chicago – Looking for some peace and quiet to catch up on your reading? Try the bathroom at work. That’s right. Scott Edmunds (Not his real name), an accountant for an unnamed accounting firm in Chicago, recently read the entire Wall Street Journal and the entire NY Times while on the john at work.

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Posted in Biz News0 Comments

Racist Row Revving Up, Four Sure to End Up on the Floor

Racist Row Revving Up, Four Sure to End Up on the Floor

26 September 2009 12:04 - by Rusty

A Smegmadale driver spent two nights in jail after being accused of the latest numpty-dumpty politically-incorrect crime of “revving his car in a racist manner”.

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Posted in Environment, Strange People0 Comments

Milband the Millipede Makes Faux Pas 1,782

Milband the Millipede Makes Faux Pas 1,782

21 September 2009 06:54 - by Rusty

Foreign Secretary David Millipede once again stuck his foot ankle deep in the brown smelly stuff yesterday by publicly declaring that there were circumstances in which terrorism was justifiable.

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Posted in World News0 Comments

Harrods Bans Last of the Mohicans, Presumably on Purpose

Harrods Bans Last of the Mohicans, Presumably on Purpose

21 September 2009 12:51 - by Rusty

A woman whose hair was cut in a Mohican style and dyed incandescent vomit green to raise money for the charity ‘Brain Dead’ was refused entry to Harrods in Shitesbridge because she breached the store’s regulations banning both Cowboys and Indians.

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Japan Finally Makes Worse Car Than U.S.

Japan Finally Makes Worse Car Than U.S.

21 September 2009 11:14 - by John Francis Raines

TOKYO, JAPAN- Japanese engineers working for Toyota shocked the world today by announcing that they have at long last created a car worse than any car made in the United States. After a bold promise made by Chief Engineer Fukashi Tokiru in the late nineties to match American ineptitude, Toyota’s engineers finally came through, creating […]

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Posted in Environment, Technology0 Comments

CIA Playing Hardball with Obama

CIA Playing Hardball with Obama

21 September 2009 03:48 - by Sagman44

In an exclusive interview with the Washington Times, a senior CIA official said the Agency was in payback mode with the White House. Insisting he be referred to only as “Leon P” to protect his identity, the official revealed that CIA officers were furious when the President unleashed the Justice Department on the Agency over […]

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Karma: Riot Cops Gas Themselves

Karma: Riot Cops Gas Themselves

21 September 2009 12:57 - by Rusty

Eighteen trainee officers have suffered burns to the faces, gone blind and had their lungs permanently damaged during a CS gas spray training exercise for the Greater Manchester Police’s ‘Riot Plod Squad’. The rookie recruits – hired from the redundant ranks of New Labour’s quango Renta-Thug sadist agency – were made to walk through clouds […]

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Posted in Crooked Cops, Human Interest0 Comments

Top Dog US General: Afghan War is FUBAR

Top Dog US General: Afghan War is FUBAR

20 September 2009 04:47 - by Rusty

The commanding US general in Afghanistan has called for a revised military strategy, suggesting the current one is totally Fubar. In a top secret strategic assessment sent to the US Central Command – endorsed with a bright red “Eyes Only : Don’t show more than a Dozen” stamp, four star General Billy Bob McTwattie declared […]

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Posted in War Zone0 Comments

Obama May Target World Unemployment

Obama May Target World Unemployment

20 September 2009 12:36 - by Sagman44

National Enquirer – Part 3 of John’s Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at President Obama’s compound. Before he was discovered and removed by Secret Service agents, Smith managed to tape several strategy meetings Obama conducted with advisors. In the following transcript, the President leads a brainstorming session on correcting the nation’s dismal employment situation:

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Ask Hank: My Wife Has Been Bugging Me…

Ask Hank: My Wife Has Been Bugging Me…

20 September 2009 07:14 - by

Dear Hank, My wife has been bugging me for months now to clean out the garage and I’m sick of hearing her naggin’. Why, just the other day, she threatened that if I didn’t haul all that junk away this weekend, she was gonna hold a garage sale and get rid of all my big […]

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Posted in Society0 Comments

Genetic Engineering Goes Bananas, Boosts Chimp IQ’s

Genetic Engineering Goes Bananas, Boosts Chimp IQ’s

20 September 2009 01:03 - by Rusty

UK police and Interpol are hot on the trail of a troop of thirty-plus chimpanzees that escaped from their enclosure at Chester Zoo in Cheshire this weekend, forcing visitors to flee in terror.

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Posted in Health, Technology0 Comments

Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview

Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview

20 September 2009 12:40 - by Sagman44

Former CBS Anchor Dan Rather charged today that the network recently spiked a “60 Minutes” interview with Vice President Joe Biden under pressure from the White House. “I heard that Rahm Emanuel previewed the tape and found Biden harder to swallow than day-old habanero chili,” Rather said.

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Posted in Sports Scandals, Strange People0 Comments

EU Decision Throws Europe into Darkness

EU Decision Throws Europe into Darkness

19 September 2009 10:20 - by P. Beckert

Hours, KW – The Eiffel Tower is now a threat to aviation safety as it stands unlit in the Paris night. Other famous landmarks in various European cities have gone dark as well due to the European Union’s decision to ban incandescent light bulbs in favor of replacing them with the more energy efficient compact […]

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Posted in World News0 Comments



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