Responding to criticism that search efforts for the ill fated Flight 370 have been unfocused, haphazard and confusing, United Nations Secretary-General Ban-ki-moon announced today that all future efforts will be directed by one authority under the title “Operation Wild Goose”.
Up until now, the search has been typified by unilateral efforts of a dozen nations that has resulted in confusing and conflicting information released to the public, duplication of effort, pointless searches and corrupt, third world results.
The United Nations General Assembly voted to unify these efforts and will be headed up by the Government of Malaysia under the consultation of Malaysia Airlines. The action will be funded by a 3.5 billion dollar assessment to the most egregious global warming perpetrator nations, but will exclude China, India and Russia.
Ban-ki-moon added “The budget will be distributed to nations least effected by this tragedy and will be used for building diplomatic staff, hiring PR firms, conducting international focus groups and bribing leaders of vicious, military juntas.”
“This is what the United Nations was created for, let us do our job,” said Moon.