Rand and Rev. Al Share the Pie Equally, Dems & Reps Unimpressed!
Senator Rand Paul and Reverend Al Sharpton have shown some interparty solidarity and cut up a blueberry pie into equal slices at a dialogue and lunch event.
Coloradoans Now Even Bigger A**holes Since Start Of Legalized Pot
The wonder mellower-outer cannabis, always said to have a positive, tranquilizing affect on its users, has unfortunately not had such an effect on the normally ego-centered Coloradoans who recently legalized use of it. “Criminy,” said Jim Bames, over the road…
Hillary is Not Bad at Basketball… Period. But She WILL be President!
Rachel Maddow of the left-leaning news network MSNBC has defended Hillary Clinton from malicious and false conservative allegations that she is bad at basketball. See this transcript:
College Senior More Concerned With Zombie Apocalypse Than Future
University if Missouri, Columbia — Despite his mounting college debt and lack of employment, college senior Brent Hamilton appears to be more troubled by the prospect of a zombie apocalypse than his imminent future. “Brent’s always been a little eccentric,…
Pelosi Gets Tough on Pope Francis Regime
It seems not everybody is charmed by controversial cleric Pope Francis. Indeed, one prominent US politician, Nancy Pelosi, is planning very stern measures to punish what she considers to be the brutal and savage policies and order of governance of…
Sex Ed Declared Gross and Bad
Oakland, Indiana — Sexual Education is a course dealing with human sexuality, including anatomy, reproduction, health, and reproductive rights and responsibilities. The topic of whether or not sexual education should be instructed in public schools is still highly controversial and…
Cat Owners Have Hissy Fit Over New Ice Bucket Challenge
A new twist on the popular Facebook Ice Bucket Challenge, which raises money for Lou Gehrig’s Disease, has animal rights activists up in arms, legs and paws alike. The trend, which started amongst celebrities and athletes and spread to Facebook,…
Amidst Crisis in Gaza, Fox Announces New Reality Series ‘Going Gazan’
In a move sure to invite controversy, Fox Television executive Brandon Webber yesterday announced the network has just completed shooting a pilot for a planned reality series set on the border between Israel and the Gaza Strip. ‘Going Gazan,’ which…
Sex Crazed Teens “Syruping” Leads to Genital Ants
One invariable about teens is that, whether raised in the abstinence-only belt of high teen birth rates, or normal states, kids be getting down and dirty. This latest crazy craze involves young girls, often those from the flag team, dousing…
Man Ordering Drink With Meal Undoubtedly Reincarnation Of Gluttonous Roman Emperor
BETHESDA, MD—In an obscene display of wanton excess, local restaurant patron Don Mayhew stunned onlookers as he openly indulged himself in the extravagance of a soft drink along with his meal, disdainfully eschewing the common man’s glass of ice water….