Brief Dating Site Blah Blah Whatever [Video]
Dating sites pride themselves on how complicated they are. This site breaks that mold by asking you to do less and less. “Almost nothing, really,” said Byron Dwight, CEO and actual site member. “Just a quick tl;dr of yourself and…
EPA Report: ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’ Responsible for 34% Decrease in Polar Ice Caps
WASHINGTON – In an alarming press conference delivered this afternoon, Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Gina McCarthy announced that the ALS “Ice Bucket Challenge,” which has, since June 30th, gone viral on social media websites like Facebook and Twitter, is estimated…
The 13th Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony Begins With a Blast
Kicking it off this September comes an event the whole world has begged to be a part of. Unfortunately for them, only a selected number of Muslims were able to make it inside. Since 2001, the Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony…
St. Louis Rams Cut Michael Sam for Being “Not Gay Enough”
ST. LOUIS – In a statement released today by St. Louis Rams Head Coach Jeff Fischer, defensive end Michael Sam did not make the latest round of roster cuts because of his apparent lack of homosexual tendencies. “Honestly, as a…
WTF? Crazy Dalai Lama Claims War Crimes Are Purely a Matter of Context!
Everybody knows that unlike all the so-called “Abrahamic Religions” like Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Baha’i, Rastafarianism, etc., Buddhism is in a class of its own. But why? Obviously, because people belonging to all other religions have practiced patriarchy, homophobia, racism, and…
GOP End of Days Panic: Rick Perry Declares Himself the Anti-Reagan
The GOP is getting worried about outside infiltration and even supernatural omens, as rumor has it that Rick Perry has revealed himself to aides as the literal anti-Reagan. No need to worry about fire and brimstone, signs in the Heavens,…
Ideas Man Newt Gingrich Finally Solves Fiscal Responsibility Problem
The new Newt Gingrich is re-branding himself as the Ideas Man of the Republican Party, but this time he’s outdone even himself with an astonishingly innovative solution.
A Checklist Of The ‘Humanitarian Aid’ The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine
At the Russian/Ukrainian border the so-called ‘humanitarian aid’ convoy sent by Putin stops to do a final check on what supplies they will be delivering to the Ukrainians on the other side. Two Russian majors exit the first two vehicles…
Rand Paul Reaches Out To Dems, Promises Not to Ban “Washing-up” Agenda
Some Republicans view Rand Paul as a potentially divisive figure (i.e. one who will take some of their support away in critical demographics), but some of his opponents are actually impressed how he has built bridges with Democrats at cross-party…
Conservatives and Liberals Still Trying to Convert Each Other
WASHINGTON – A new poll of 1,000 American adults reveals that both conservatives and liberals believe it is possible to “convert” other people to change their political orientation. The recent Gallmausen poll found that more than 63% of Americans believe…