Pelosi Gets Tough on Pope Francis Regime

It seems not everybody is charmed by controversial cleric Pope Francis. Indeed, one prominent US politician, Nancy Pelosi, is planning very stern measures to punish what she considers to be the brutal and savage policies and order of governance of His Holiness.

In a tearful Youtube video that Britney Spears has already endorsed, Pelosi explains:

The Church humiliated me because of my Principled Liberal Moral Stances.

They have no right whatsoever to define Catholicism for me! I’m Nancy Pelosi, I’m from the government…

And most of all, I’m your dear, dear friend!

I’m an individual, not a slavish devotee of some conformist ideology. I’m not even sure if they will allow me to take the sacrament, and even though you can’t tell by looking at My Face, that hurts my feelings. There’s nothing less against Christian teaching than making someone feel small and unrecognised.

I’ve always been loyal to the Church, but now they’re telling me and millions of other faithful Catholics what to do and what not to do. That’s not appropriate! I’ll be the one to decide whether I am a True Catholic, not some priest in a dress.

That’s why I’m calling for sanctions against the brutal regime of Pope Francis. You know, all those secular leaders in the Middle East that we’re opposed to, they’ve only been round a few years or decades. The Pope has been around for about 2000 years!

It’s about time we stopped appeasing this wicked dictator and started making him accountable to the international community. We’ll start by severing ties with the Vatican and stopping people from the Pope’s barbaric regime entering the USA. Enough is enough.

We can’t just sit there! We have to stop this wicked man from destroying our country! It’s the only Christian thing to do!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

I've been writing satire for many years, and I've been published on many sites! Follow me on Twitter, and have a look at my books on Amazon! I've also had some poetry published by Sad Press recently: look out for 'Centrifugue!' I am also a founding member of the #AutisticDarkWeb: check the hashtag out on Twitter! Money's tight, so please consider dropping me $1 a month on Patreon (see link below). All my Patreon subscribers get certain benefits, including exclusive content, way in advance of anyone else!

6 thoughts on “Pelosi Gets Tough on Pope Francis Regime

  1. Where are the Jesuits to “deal” with people like her? I am NO Catholic, but to think they will condone (allow) Pelosi – yes, even Pelosi – to make such hostile statements about their beloved belief system and corporation… it’s unthinkable to think she’ll not pay in some grave way in the future.

  2. Pelosi will feel the wrath of God for her wicked deeds, facilitating the murder of millions of Children by abortion that Pelosi made law will surely condemn her to burn in hell for eternity. Pope Francis was right to strip her of receiving the sacraments and really should have excommunicated her but he went lightly on punishment her letting God give her the big one.

  3. As an American catholic I have never in my life been so offended, or felt so threatened, and I grew up in stories of various ancestors of mine, mostly Irish, German and French-Canadian immigrant, leaving the persecution of protestant supremacy only to find that it had followed them here. She nor any one else in the united states government nor the US government as a whole, nor any country in the world has the right to change my religion. And just like my brothers and sisters in Iraq we will stay with our churches teachings if they kill us for it.

  4. Have we gone beyond that line defining real news from satire and entered into that land of no return in which we will wander forever lost????????

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