The 13th Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony Begins With a Blast

Kicking it off this September comes an event the whole world has begged to be a part of. Unfortunately for them, only a selected number of Muslims were able to make it inside.

Since 2001, the Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony has been a part of the Al-Qaeda family who have their traditions such as: Executing anyone they come across with, annoyingly chanting their monkey song ‘Allahu Akbar’, and the classic accidental suicide bombing bloopers the entire unibrow family enjoys.

The Islamic State did a good job at setting up the party and its theme, which came to a surprise considering they blow at organizing tasks.

One sexy-as-hell Muslim in particular, Yuliqa M’Diq, went the extra mile as to escaping the Jewish Army and being able to arrive to his daughter’s birthday party. She was treated like a normal person for one day and was given gifts, toys and her very first time bomb.

The only downside to this heartwarming story was that people of the Sand Village couldn’t get her to eat that cake. After various attempts, one local genius came to the rescue and began stuffing cake inside the huge gaping hole on her head. Everyone cheered and later dropped off the girl’s body to their secret caves when their sand-timer struck empty.

Then came the time for their routinely Jihad; Everyone’s favorite mind-blowing game. They hopped onto their pimpin’ camels and sped off into the sunset like the magnificent beasts they were. If you could only see the majestic beauty their unshaven faces had, kissing the sunlight as they rode off to glory. If you were only there.

The Jihad came to an end when one camel tripped and triggered a landmine. Well, bring in the next test subjects.

Author: JihadTimes

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